~the sea does not like to be restrained (Kavi's journal)~ Showing 5,101-5,150 of 20,355

[kavi ~he-him~]

❄️Small beans (Kavy/Kavya) of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "The guy I love has a GBA emulator on his phone. I want one but I can't get one because they don't have a version for iOS 8 or later"

5000th comment

[kavi ~he-him~]

Dear reality,

Stop slapping me in the face. I am trying to enjoy life. I just want to have fun. I get it life is difficult and full of obstacles. But you don't need to keep rubbing that in my face. I am trying to survive I am trying to live. Because I want to live for my friends/family. So I will live for them and all the things I love. I've got a lot of things to do. So stop slapping me in the face. I know I've made some mistakes but you don't need to keep rubbing that in my face. Sure I'd made mistakes but everyone does at some point. I'm only human. We're only humans. We're humans with feelings, feelings that can be hurt.

Sincerely Kavya

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

❄️Small beans (Kavy/Kavya) of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "Sirius (Malakalato) Kaldwin wrote: "❄️Small beans (Kavy/Kavya) of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "Idk what to do.....I have music and books and GR and thin..."

Fair point....

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

❄️Small beans (Kavy/Kavya) of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "Dear reality,

Stop slapping me in the face. I am trying to enjoy life. I just want to have fun. I get it life is difficult and full of obstacles. But you don't need to keep rubbing that in my face..."

That's.... Actually really inspirational. Lol, very well written.

[kavi ~he-him~]

Dear Suicidal thoughts, demons,

Get out, go away and leave me alone. I will not give up, I will keep fighting. I have reasons to live. I have friends/family and I love them. I have things that I love. I have to live for them and I will live for them. I am only 17 I've got a lot of things I want to do before I die. I still need to go to college join a band publish my books, get married to the love of my life and have kids. I want to do that. And I will. So leave me alone. You can bring me down all you want but I will get back up, because I am a fighter. I am a fighter and I choose to fight. 13 years, since I was four I'd been fighting my own battles, I'd been through so much. I'd been bullied, hated for no reason by so many ppl, I'd been hurt by my "friends" I've had fake friends. I'd been left in the darkness. 13 years, my whole life, I've been fighting. I will not back down now. I did not come this far in life, just to give up. I did not come this far in life just to leave. So leave, leave me alone and go away.

Sincerely, Kavya

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

❄️Small beans (Kavy/Kavya) of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "Dear Suicidal thoughts, demons,

Get out, go away and leave me alone. I will not give up, I will keep fighting. I have reasons to live. I have friends/family and I love them. I have things that I l..."

Again. Wow. This is.... Kind of astounding. If I were still depressed, I wouldn't be anymore.

[kavi ~he-him~]

Dear bullies/haters:

Leave ppl alone, leave everyone alone. Bullying is not okay and it's not cool. I get it, you guys have things going on in your personal lives, and you are insecure about yourselves but that doesn't mean you can just take it out on other ppl. It doesn't mean you can just hurt others just to make yourselves feel better, because really, bullying others doesn't make anything better it only makes things worse. I'm insecure about myself, I'd been through a lot, My self-esteem is extremely low, I don't love myself. And look at me, I don't bully others. I'm really insecure and have low self-esteem and I'm one of the nicest ppl in the world. So pls, leave everyone alone

-Kavya

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

I figured out what I'm going to say to Emily when I ask her out. And I also estimated her responses, and assumed how the conversation will go, and I think it's fairly accurate:

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

(view spoiler)["Hey, Em? I need to talk to you."
*go to corner of whatever room we're in*
*deep breath*
"I know that I'm kind of a d***, and I know I'm just another one of these people, and this isn't the kind of thing you want to hear right now, but... *look up* *eye contact* Emily, I think I'm in love with you. And, I was wondering... *deep breath, closes eyes for a second* Will you *open eyes* go out *eye contact* with me?"

*she makes a sorry face*
"No, I don't really want to date right now. I'm sorry."

*Nods, makes face*
"It's okay, that's about what I expected honestly. *starts to walk away* I hope this won't make things awkward between us, but I can understand if it does...." *Leaves* (hide spoiler)]

[kavi ~he-him~]

Sorry guys, just really had to get that stuff out, because it pisses me off when the nicest and kindest ppl gets treated like shit and have to go through so much shit

[kavi ~he-him~]

Sorry for cussing guys

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

❄️Small beans (Kavy/Kavya) of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "Sorry guys, just really had to get that stuff out, because it pisses me off when the nicest and kindest ppl gets treated like shit and have to go through so much shit"

It's okay. It's good to rant sometimes. I do it all the time

[kavi ~he-him~]

Sirius (Malakalato) Kaldwin wrote: ""Hey, Em? I need to talk to you."
*go to corner of whatever room we're in*
*deep breath*
"I know that I'm kind of a d***, and I know I'm just another one of these people, and this isn't the kind of..."

Be careful pls

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

❄️Small beans (Kavy/Kavya) of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "Sirius (Malakalato) Kaldwin wrote: ""Hey, Em? I need to talk to you."
*go to corner of whatever room we're in*
*deep breath*
"I know that I'm kind of a d***, and I know I'm just another one of thes..."

What do you mean?

[kavi ~he-him~]

Sirius (Malakalato) Kaldwin wrote: "❄️Small beans (Kavy/Kavya) of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "Sorry guys, just really had to get that stuff out, because it pisses me off when the nicest a..."

I love ranting, but I don't cuss often. Or at least out loud I don't cuss often. I cuss a lot in my head but not out loud. I'm always afraid of hurting someone even by accidentally

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

Makes sense.

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

No offense, but you're too kind.

[kavi ~he-him~]

Sirius (Malakalato) Kaldwin wrote: "❄️Small beans (Kavy/Kavya) of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "Sirius (Malakalato) Kaldwin wrote: ""Hey, Em? I need to talk to you."
*go to corner of whatev..."

You never really know what the others might say back. I've thought about what would happen when I tell the guy I love how I feel a lot. But it won't always go the way it does in your head

[kavi ~he-him~]

Sirius (Malakalato) Kaldwin wrote: "Makes sense."

Sirius (Malakalato) Kaldwin wrote: "No offense, but you're too kind."

Thanks.

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

❄️Small beans (Kavy/Kavya) of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "Sirius (Malakalato) Kaldwin wrote: "❄️Small beans (Kavy/Kavya) of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "Sirius (Malakalato) Kaldwin wrote: ""Hey, Em? I need to t..."

Yeah..... I have very low expectations for what the results of that convo will be. So, I probably won't be dissapointed. It's not impossible, though.

[kavi ~he-him~]

I have a story to tell and I will tell it after class

[kavi ~he-him~]

At lunch:

Jonathan: *walks in*
Me: Hey
Jonathan: hey
Me: you got a hair cut!!
Jonathan: yeah *walks over to the seat next to mine*
Me: I'll brb
Jonathan: okay
Me: *goes and gets some cookies and comes back and sits next to Jon*

*Alana comes in*
Me: *tells Alana about Spencer's*
Jon: *talks about having sushi over the weekend*
Me: *looks up* LUCKY!!

Later:

Annette: *comes in*
Me: *tells her about Spencer's*

Then:
Jonathan: *stretches*
Me: *pushes him playfully*
Jonathan: no, why would you do that? What did I do to you?
Me: *laughs*
Jonathan: you know what? *pushes me playfully so I almost fall out of my chair*
Me: eek
Jonathan: this is why you don't push ppl
Me: *laughing* just push ppl out of their chair XD
Jonathan: just pick up the chair and flip it over and drop the person
Me: *tries to pick up the chair that Jonathan was sitting on*
Jonathan: I have more strength then you do

[[deleted user]]

❄️Small beans (Kavy/Kavya) of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "At lunch:

Jonathan: *walks in*
Me: Hey
Jonathan: hey
Me: you got a hair cut!!
Jonathan: yeah *walks over to the seat next to mine*
Me: I'll brb
Jonathan: okay
Me: *goes and gets some cookies and c..."

You two are officially cute!

[kavi ~he-him~]

*blushes* hehe.....

[kavi ~he-him~]

So this weekend I was sorta talking about when I went into Spencer's

[kavi ~he-him~]

That was the first time I went because I wanted to check the store out....

[kavi ~he-him~]

And I saw some disturbing things....

[kavi ~he-him~]

It's lucky my mom didn't come into the store.....

[[deleted user]]

❄️Small beans (Kavy/Kavya) of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "And I saw some disturbing things...."

What.....did....you...see?

[kavi ~he-him~]

Trelas wrote: "❄️Small beans (Kavy/Kavya) of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "And I saw some disturbing things...."

What.....did....you...see?"

You don't want to know.....my mind was ruined. If my mom came in and saw the stuff, she would've flipped

[[deleted user]]

Oh gosh!!

[kavi ~he-him~]

WHY DO THEY EVEN HAVE THAT STUFF?? HOW WERE THEY EVEN ALLOWED TO HAVE THAT STUFF?? IN THE MALL?? WTH!! Some of the stuff at the mall are adult stuff but still!! THAT STUFF!!

[[deleted user]]

Uh

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

They.... Just kinda do?

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

Just... Don't question it.

[kavi ~he-him~]

-_- life is weird.....

[kavi ~he-him~]

4 more weeks left.....until I graduate.....

[kavi ~he-him~]

2 more months until warped tour and until i get to see Andy

[kavi ~he-him~]

3 more months until I turn 18

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

Excited?

[kavi ~he-him~]

Yeah excited and nervous at the same time

[kavi ~he-him~]

Random person keeps calling me O_O

[NerdyJediGymnast]

Kavy I am so mad at you now >.<

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

Hm.

[NerdyJediGymnast]

You never told your Jon you love him?!?!

[kavi ~he-him~]

No :( I keep getting scared and running away.

[[deleted user]]

Wow, crazy.

[kavi ~he-him~]

I have a gut feeling that either way, whether I tell him I love him or not or whether he tells me he loves me or not. It's gonna happen again eventually. We're meant to be together.

[kavi ~he-him~]

Okay I have no idea which playlist I'm in the mood for rn

[kavi ~he-him~]

Screw it, listening to my Bvb/Andy Black/Juliet Simms playlists