~the sea does not like to be restrained (Kavi's journal)~ Showing 5,051-5,100 of 20,355

[kavi ~he-him~]

so Journal watchers while I'm gone tomorrow:

-Cynthia
-Shine
-Blue
-Hallie
-Erin
-Sirius
-Masi
-Lys
-Eva/Meg

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

Okay. That's cool. I've been considering something like this for a while, but.... Idk. I just don't feel like it.

[blue]

❄️Small beans (Kavy/Kavya) of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "so Journal watchers while I'm gone tomorrow:

-Cynthia
-Shine
-Blue
-Hallie
-Erin
-Sirius
-Masi
-Lys
-Eva/Meg"

Okay Kavy

[kavi ~he-him~]

Thanks guys

[kavi ~he-him~]

another problem tho:


as much as I love being alone, I love being alone because I like having time to myself to think, and daydream, and I rather be alone then be friends with the wrong ppl, the ones that hurt me, and leave me broken I rather be alone, then get hurt, because I don't want to get hurt again, and I'm used to being alone because I'm alone most of the time, and I'm an introvert, I like having friends but I don't like to hang out with too many ppl, but at the same time.....I'm scared of being alone. because I'm scared of the demons/thoughts in my head. I'm scared of losing friends/being abandoned. I know, I have music, and books but still.....I'm afraid of the darkness

[[deleted user]]

❄️Small beans (Kavy/Kavya) of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "so Journal watchers while I'm gone tomorrow:

-Cynthia
-Shine
-Blue
-Hallie
-Erin
-Sirius
-Masi
-Lys
-Eva/Meg"

Thanks.

I understand about taking a break from GR.
I'll miss you!

[Wolf (Alpha)]

How long u gonna be gone Kav?

[kavi ~he-him~]

Wolf (Alpha) wrote: "How long u gonna be gone Kav?"

Just for tomorrow, I can't stay away from GR for too long

[Wolf (Alpha)]

❄️Small beans (Kavy/Kavya) of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "Wolf (Alpha) wrote: "How long u gonna be gone Kav?"

Just for tomorrow, I can't stay away from GR for too long"

I'll miss you. But take all the time you need.

[kavi ~he-him~]

Masi [That's my name] (S.B.QP) wrote: "okay Kavy. ^_^ Sorry. *hugs*"

PinkLoki(Shine) RULER OF: CrimsonPeak, Asgard, Jotunheim, Midgard, AvengersTower wrote: "❄️Small beans (Kavy/Kavya) of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "so Journal watchers while I'm gone tomorrow:

-Cynthia
-Shine
-Blue
-Hallie
-Erin
-Sirius
-Ma..."

Wolf (Alpha) wrote: "❄️Small beans (Kavy/Kavya) of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "Wolf (Alpha) wrote: "How long u gonna be gone Kav?"

Just for tomorrow, I can't stay away fro..."

Thank you guys, and it's fine Masi *hugs* and I'll miss you two Shine and Tura, I'll miss you all

[kavi ~he-him~]

EEEEEEEEEK I GOT A BLACK VEIL BRIDES AND PIERCE THE VEIL T-SHIT EEEEK I'M FANGIRLING HARD RN!!

[Jaxon(Jax)[They-He]]

NICE

[kavi ~he-him~]

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE XD

[kavi ~he-him~]

Haha XD at the mall, my mom and I were walking past the Journeys store, and then I see a poster with Andy Biersack in it, and then I started walking towards the store XD

Me: Mom look *points at Andy*
Mom: oh is that Andy Black? (she knows about me and Andy now because while at Hot topics I was looking for an Andy Black t-shirt but they were out :( )
Store Lady: *walks over to us* do you need something?
Mom: no, she was just looking at the Andy Biersack.
Store Lady: oh, you like Andy Biersack?
Me: *nods*
Store Lady: you like that type of music?
Me: *nods*
Store Lady: what other music do you like?
Me: Rock, Alternative, Punk

[kavi ~he-him~]

and then as my mom and I were leaving the store I started telling my mom a little about Andy and how he is my hero XD

[kavi ~he-him~]

dark angel ~ you're so cynical, narcissistic cannibal wrote: "I went to Spencer's instead XD
And there is a lot of creepy stuff there"

same XD I went to spencer's and I saw somethings....that my parents would flip if they see that stuff....XD

[kavi ~he-him~]

at first I didn't know what was in there, and then I went in and I saw that stuff and I'm just like, "no, I'm out of here bye!!" XD

[kavi ~he-him~]

I was like, "MY EYES, MY EYES ARE RUINED!!" XD

[kavi ~he-him~]

so tomorrow.....Idk what I'm gonna do tomorrow while on Hiatus....

[kavi ~he-him~]

maybe I'll watch batman, and then make a cover of a song, I'd been planning to make a cover.

[kavi ~he-him~]

if I do a cover of a song tomorrow, which song should I do?

[kavi ~he-him~]

maybe I'll do in the end, by Black Veil Brides

[kavi ~he-him~]

I'm back

[kavi ~he-him~]

Hiatus was nice but it was also really hard for me to do. Cause I'm so addicted to GR That I was getting some withdrawal symptoms from being off of GR and it was hard for me to stay away from
GR but I managed to survive the whole day.

[kavi ~he-him~]

I didn't do that cover tho but I'll do it this weekend

[kavi ~he-him~]

I have 4 more weeks left until i graduate O_O I'm nervous and excited

[kavi ~he-him~]

And I feel a little better from the Hiatus but not too much.

[kavi ~he-him~]

During the night my demons came back

[Lys: the adorkable kitten]

NOOOOO!!!!!!!

[kavi ~he-him~]

My demons are worse than before, my suicidal thoughts are worse than before, my depression is worse than before. Everything is worse than before.

[kavi ~he-him~]

I love being alone, but I also hate it.

[kavi ~he-him~]

I'm scared......

[kavi ~he-him~]

O_O Andy's dad replied to one of my tweets. Made me smile

[kavi ~he-him~]

I sent Andy and his dad tweets telling them that I got a Bvb shirt from Hot Topics two days ago. and that they were out of the Andy Black t-shirt and Andy's dad replied to it, saying BVB or Andy Black. It's ALL good.

[kavi ~he-him~]

Oh yeah, funny story:

Last night I had a dream that I met Andy Biersack and Ashley Purdy. And it was funny because I was wearing my Bvb t-shirt to bed last night

[kavi ~he-him~]

My demons are here and won't leave me alone

[kavi ~he-him~]

I can't drown my demons they only know how to swim

[[deleted user]]

Whats wrong Kavy?

[kavi ~he-him~]

Idk what happened to make me be in this state. I was doing so good for the past couple of weeks....but then last week I just fell back down. Not literally but emotionally. Reality slapped me in the face and I relapsed

[kavi ~he-him~]

Everything just seems to be worse

[[deleted user]]

How?

[kavi ~he-him~]

I am afraid of my demons.....

[kavi ~he-him~]

Idk what to do.....I have music and books and GR and things to distract me but....sometimes things don't always help.....

[kavi ~he-him~]

I won't always have these things with me

[kavi ~he-him~]

I keep thinking about the fact that everyone leaves me eventually. And I can't stop thinking

[kavi ~he-him~]

Overthinking kills

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

Lol,, yeah.

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

❄️Small beans (Kavy/Kavya) of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "Idk what to do.....I have music and books and GR and things to distract me but....sometimes things don't always help....."

Well, I think it's in the human nature to be attracted to the things that can save us, so I believe you'll be fine.

[kavi ~he-him~]

Trelas wrote: "How?"

Life. Idk. It happens. I'd been in depression for three years now.....

[kavi ~he-him~]

Sirius (Malakalato) Kaldwin wrote: "❄️Small beans (Kavy/Kavya) of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "Idk what to do.....I have music and books and GR and things to distract me but....sometimes t..."

True but there's times when I don't have those things or anything to distract me. Especially in the nights when I'm trying to sleep