Let's Get To Know Each Other Better

[[deleted user]]

So this topic goes a little bit further then your everyday random chatter (which btw i love :) )...but this lil discussion is to help us get to know each member in this group...ask questions, talk about anything (it could be something that has helped make you into the person you are today, or even things you have learnt through your journey even your story). Make this discussion a little bit more personal and get to know each other on a different level...at the same time though dont feel that you have to share things that make you feel uncomfortable..bc i dont want that :)

Im sure i dont need to say this...but just remember that if someone has a different opinion then you that's okay...opinions are not law there just opinions :) have fun :D

I guess i can start it off (im going to really open up here and hopefully this will help to start this discussion up - dont feel uncomfortable by wat i say or sorry for me..my life is wat it is and it has helped mold me into the person i am today!)....you guys probably wouldn't believe it but i'm actually a shy kinda girl out in the real world...i hate confrontation, but can deal with it, i'm a bit crazy around those i feel comfortable with but can easily feel out of my comfort zone. I'm a real stress head (my mum has a saying that goes like this "my chicky stresses about stress before theres even stress to stress about") yeah thats me...i stress about the most mundane and unrealistic things but unfortunately i cant change that about myself no matter how much i try. my life's been pretty good...its just been mum my sister and me (we make a pretty good team :) ). My father skipped out on us when i was 6 weeks old so not much of a connection there...although he does pop in every now and then. I could say i have daddy issues...but to have those you usually have to have a memory before you can form issues...so in that department i'm okay :) personally i feel that it was God working in my life (yes i'm a believer) doing what was best for my family. Ummmm what else....i'm extremely passionate about my family and would do literally anything for them...i also have a really strong connection to music and of course books...the music connection came in first though...it helped me through some pretty rough times!! Since a little girl i have struggled with Dispraxia, which is basically just learning difficulties and toss in some struggles with your fine motor skills, i was told at a young age by teachers that i wouldn't amount to more then ur basic lifestyle classes when i hit highschool, at this point mum took me out of the school system and homeschooled me...and to say i picked up fast in the learning area is a bit of an understatement....starting from yr 4 maths english etc (in yr 7) i caught up and by yrs 9 i was doing yr 11 & 12 maths and English. after completing school i went to TAFE and did my cert 3 & 4 in under a yr receiving credit level (i cant say i never had the thought to shove my certificate in my old teachers face lol)...i then started working full-time at the age of 16 and stayed there for 5 years...but in this 5 yrs to say its been a easy...nah its been pretty hellish! a yr into my job i started suffering with 3 severe bulging discs in my spine (but due to my age the specialists did not want to do surgery being only 17). i waited a year with pain levels only increasing and was rushed into surgery at the age of 18 due to severe nerve damage. after the operation...things just proceeded to get worse for me...to work was agony and work colleagues became really hard to deal with (due to everything i was dealing with severe depression settled in and life just became a black hole for me) - work started giving me a whole heap of rubbish and back lash bc of not being able to do certain things due to my condition, a lot of backstabbing included - yeah as i said to my family it felt like working in a farm yard - there were cows, dogs you name it! i recently quit my job last year November due to the need for more surgery this year...will be going in for spinal fusion and disc replacement sometime in February! lucky me right :) but as dreary as this all sounds i wouldnt even be here sharing my story, if it wasnt for my amazing family and a Father in heaven guiding me along...you see its through our weaknesses that God can finally make us strong and it is only through trials and rough patches in our life that we can become the person that God wants us to be. So really my story is not about the tragic stuff thats happened but it is all about finding the happiness that with God on your side you can conquer all!!!

I no you guys are probably thing WOWSAH...she shared a lot...but i just wanted all you amazing people out there no that...you are never alone and that there is always someone willing to listen, even if it doesn't feel that way....

Love to here your story or whatever you wish to share :)

[[deleted user]]

Does anyone have a story or life changing moment in their life they would like to share???? Don't feel like u will be judged this is a non judge group :)

[[deleted user]]

I wasn't sure where to right this so I'm going to put it here....well I just got a strange message from my dad...my stories up there if u want more details in that department...anyways...my dad has rarely told us he loved me or my sister and when we did (probably like twice in my life he would send a message saying something along the lines of hey girls just wanted u to no that I love u and I no I don't say it often) my sister and I always put it down to him being drunk...sad I no but that's how we always felt...well tonight I got a similar message after me telling him I was too busy too catch up on Saturday...his response was
That's ok luv
U know I just want to know ur ok I also just want to know if ur not ok and life is getting u down
I know u may think I'm not there but you guys always in my thoughts
If you want or don't want to catch up or talk all good
I know u have ur life to live and totally respect that
Love you x

Do u guys have any ideas on how to respond to something like that????
It's probs really terrible to say but I just don't have a connection to my dad like u would he walked out on me and my family when I was only just born so no connection was ever really made...I barely no this person even though he's my dad and I've seen him growing up...I don't miss him when I don't c him and I don't really even think about him....he's not really my family if that makes any sense....

Any ideas please help...I'm stressing out!!

[[deleted user]]

Yeah I didn't want to do it over text either but this is the second time he has said something similar over text it's like he doesn't want to talk about it he's all cold and just wants to talk about himself all the time...he doesn't no me at all... Which is kinda really sad...but it was his choice....anyways yeah i wanted to chat with him but I'm really nervous....he makes me nervous and edgy...if that makes sense...I'm probably coming of as heartless and cold :(

[[deleted user]]

Okay...thanks for saying that...I think I really needed to hear that...it's hard to explain but sometimes I feel like it's my fault...bc he left just after I was born...it makes u feel like he didn't want u or something like that....anyways...I've just never had a connection with him and when I was a kid I used to get soo scared bc he just naturally had a really loud voice and I thought I was always getting in trouble...he even used to get frustrated at me bc he would try and muck around with me but I would get scared...one time he told me he was going to throw me into the water at the beach (I was only like 4) and mum told me i screamed so loud it was like I was being murdered...dad dumped me with mum grouching "she's ur kid silly kid she should have none in was just mucking around" mums response was "Shane how do u expect the kid to no that when she barely knows u she sees u only once a week"
It's soo true if a kid can't form a trust from a young age I think it makes it really hard to make it happen...
Sooo sorry for the ramble...so not wat u want to hear at 6.30 in the morning!!

[[deleted user]]

Hahaha well least I made sense and thanks for everything :)

*oh my word it's getting hotter I'm melting I tell u!!! My fan is making no difference...it's like I'm in a sauna *

[[deleted user]]

Is that in Fahrenheit??? But gosh I do terrible in heat!!

[[deleted user]]

Bc if it is I would take this over the current heat...which converted to Fahrenheit would be 104 so we do everything in degrees Celsius which would be 40

[[deleted user]]

Hahahahaha right sorry.

[[deleted user]]

I've had kinda a tough life so far. And I know there are worse lives then mine, but this is pretty bad too.
I had actually a decent life until Arella was born. Then it became a downward spiral. I do not blame her, she is my sweet baby girl, but still. You can't change the truth. Arella was born with a low birth weight. Like 4 or 3 pounds. The doctors were almost positive she wasn't going to make it. those days were the worst of my life. And it gave me the fear that she would die. And I couldn't do anything about it! Try telling that to a 8 year old.
She survived though, yay! Buy my sad days weren't over. Not too long ago, Arella was diagnosed with an abnormally fast heartbeat. She had to take regular medication and under no circumstances could we excite her too much. It was a daily struggle. Like any 5 year old, Arella hated her medication, and one day stopped taking it completely. She ended up in the hospital again, but she survived, yay!
After that scary event, I was diagnosed with PSTD. Because of the stress I went through so long ago. Ugh.
Then, Arella got a fever. She was sooo sick guys. On February 14th, she died. She was finally at rest. I miss her so much...
...
Everyday is a struggle. I contemplate suicide and leaving GR most everyday. But, for Arella, I stay. I don't know why people choose to be friends with a mess like me. e

[[deleted user]]

Ohhh my gosh i am sooo sorry to hear that...those words i no mean very very little but i felt i had to say them!!!!!! :'( I'm not sure if u believe in God or not but i will be praying for u that He might give u the strength to keep going, to be a guide and helper!!!

I want u to no that people choose to be ur friend bc u r a lovely friendly person, u bring smiles to there faces when they hear from u or speak to u!!! U r a very special girl Evie and dont u ever forget that!!!! I no i dont no how u r feeling or what ur going through...but i want u to no that i am here for u....

I no that this comes no where to what you have to be going through....but i have suffered from depression for many years now and even for myself it is a constant battle within to not end it all! But the one thing that always stops me is my family and God...God created me and to end that life is telling shoving it in His face, like He cant fix me.... one day i will be made perfect, there will be no more suffering or warring but there will be peace.

I'm here for u Evie....if u ever need to chat, or anything...*sending lots of hugs and warm thoughts*

Thank u for opening up here....we can all soo easily show that we are all great and dandy on the outside, the appearance of happiness but is it the truth??? In most circumstances the answer is no....and i no for certain that this is how i live my life...just pretending like everything is okay but when inside u r falling and dying inside....

[[deleted user]]

There's always a war going on inside of me. I cover it up but I really shouldn't. I tell Noah everyday I haven't the foggiest idea why he liked me. He always answers, "I see what you're feeling on the inside. And i like you so much."

[[deleted user]]

My friends are only thing keeping me on GR. If I didn't have them, I'd be gone. Online and off.

[[deleted user]]

no u really shouldnt im still trying to learn that...its not something easy to do!! But im glad that u have someone that can see beneath ur walls and into u...the emotions and all and chooses to stick with u!!

Friends are definitely a good help!!! I dont have many good good friends but the ones i do are such a strength for me...

[[deleted user]]

Me too. Life sucks but with friends it's bearable.

[[deleted user]]

I can agree to that...its just hard bc none of my friends live here in Sydney....so i feel a bit alone sometimes...im kinda the odd one out in my family

[[deleted user]]

My brother is pretty hard to live up to, so I get it.

[[deleted user]]

Yeah it feels that way sometimes....my sisters a lot louder and stuff then me so when she makes a fuss about something mum focuses on that and me being quieter sometimes feel like I'm disappearing...like wat I'm feeling doesn't matter...if that makes sense

[[deleted user]]

It does. Raph is just so perfect. He's quiet, organized, a perfectionist, basically everything I'm not. The only thing we have in common is we hide our emotions.

[[deleted user]]

So not the best trait in common I see...just bc it seems like his life's in order doesn't necessarily mean it is...maybe that's how he deals.

[[deleted user]]

I guess. I love him and all but he can be so annoying. He's a major buzzkill and doesn't get jokes. Like dude.

[[deleted user]]

Hahaha that's just sibling rivalry kicking in :) maybe he just has a different sense of humour

[[deleted user]]

He thinks I'm immature and I think he's a butthead. Yeah, sibling rivalry seems appropriate lol

[[deleted user]]

Hahahahaha lols I would say so as well :)

[[deleted user]]

We have a bunch of names for each other. Not all of them are nice. :)

[[deleted user]]

Hahahahaha he loves u under all the names mean or not...

[[deleted user]]

I know. He is super protective. If a boy so much as looks at me the wrong way Raph's is all up in his face like "you got a problem bro?" And ever since Arella died he's been more protective then usual

[[deleted user]]

I can imagine he would be!!!!! It must b nice to no that he's got ur back though.

[[deleted user]]

True

[[deleted user]]

:)

[The Feline Felon]

wow Evie ur story really touched my heart wow now I am almost crying

[The Feline Felon]

:=(==

[[deleted user]]

My anxiety is really kicking in for some reason and i have really bad shakes...i cant make them stop....Why?? Why? do they came on with no heads up or anything.

[[deleted user]]

Anxiety doesn't like to give any forewarning. I think Anxiety's David's ex wife. :p

[[deleted user]]

No it really doesnt.....i hate it....bc i cant control it at all...

[[deleted user]]

I am very shy, and very sensitive. When I was in school I was so quiet that people in my class would make up games where they would try and get me to say something. And whenever I did say something they would make a Huge deal of it like 9/11 just happened or something. Whenever I see someone crying - whether it be some random person in the street or someone in a movie - I can't help but start crying. Also since I don't go to school anymore I tend to isolate myself a lot. I am also very lazy and unorganized. Most days I just watch films because I am a cinephile. When I was 8 or 9 I had a ruptured appendix. I also had my entire town burn down in a massive forrest fire (some houses survived including mine) and then as soon as people in that town started rebuilding the entire town flooded (including my house). I don't know why but I just had a sudden urge to type all of this :P.

[[deleted user]]

Thanks soo much for sharing Mr J!!!
Shyness seems to be a thing that runs quite popular on GR's even though where crazies lol! Im very shy as well! I get really stressed if i have to go out and socialise. Thats sweet though that ur sensitive the world needs more guys like that!
WOW thats intense....In Australia we are prone to bushfires every summer so i kinda no the intensity of that....i know quite a few people who have lost their homes bc of it!!