The role of men in Feminism-as opposed to Adam's views

[Kunal]

What Adam said about why equality could not be achieved till now is absolutely the plain bitter truth. I realised this as I was reading My Life On The Road by Gloria Steinem. But I also hate these facts from the bottom of my heart. I absolutely despise them. But this post is not fuelled completely by my anger towards the backwardness of these facts. So please read the below words carefully before you decide to refute me.

The way men assumed control of the world looks very harmless from the outside. But when you're part of the oppressed society, the truth stares you right in the face! Do women really deserve to be oppressed into submission? Does any caste, religion, race and sex for that matter? Does anybody? Is it really fair how women have to sacrifice everything for their men while men feast on power and pleasure? Is it really fair to us to remain in the delusion that men are superior to women just because a man says so?

We as men must realise the fact that we have deprived women of their dreams, individuality and hopes just to prove our faith in religion.....? Seriously? Even if we have been the oppressors, I believe it is time to change. I believe that it is this particular demon of our history that we are trying to battle, a demon we must destroy if we dream of equality between women and men.

Now-what happens after women achieve that equality. Why do you care? Why do you still insist on not relinquishing power, my fellow men? The thing about this revolution is that it's very unpredictable. That's what makes it historic. What comes after the achievement of equality, we will see and decide after we achieve the equality. It's time to put your feet back on the ground. It's time to change and to bring about a change. If we keep saying-"But our ancestors..." then we're getting nowhere. Our ancestors were just that. Ancestors. And look what they did. We have to work together to create a better world and come to a "treaty", whose meaning will become clearer at the end of My Life On The Road.

Please give your views...so that I know whether what I'm saying is sensible or just pure dreamy bullcrap. I'm just learning after all :D

[Kunal]

Hey guys! Come on, what do you think? I need your views on my views so that I can see if I'm going in the right direction.
Show me some love :P I don't mean to start a fight here. Just keeping forward my ideas.

[Gwen]

Hello Kunal, I see what you are saying. In issues like this, feminism, racism, etc, I try not to dwell on the past and lump myself with everyone who has been part of the problem. I want to move forward, and to do that, I think I need to release myself from guilt and anger. I need to have love and understanding.

For example, I was speaking to someone once, and I felt I was being respectful. But they called me a racist because I am white and they were black. I said I was not a racist because I felt no hate for them, but they pointed out that racism is privilege plus bias. I guess that might be right, but here is the thing: How did this person benefit from treating me so? I was not even thinking of their race, but they used racism to disqualify my opinion. I had no right to say anything because I was white. I left that conversation and did not say any more because I felt that person was so full of hate for people they did not even know, there was nothing else I could do.

I do not generally see this in the "feminist camp." I see women who are willing to welcome men who wish to be better than the stereotypical male who rates women on their looks (among other things). We must not only have a desire to "not be that guy," but also to be willing to go beyond that and seek ways to improve the culture we are a part of in partnership with women.

[chun]

well first of all, I must say it's an interesting topic because it's based on someone's comment else where. I think you can appeal others by making a list or brief explanation about what Adam has said.

In my opinion, it's not about whether women "should" be treated like this; it's rather about men " choose" to do so, and so they have to face the result. What I mean result is a collection of social issues, like: according to a research, if a society holds on the discrimination on female( like Japan), the birth rate would keep going down without bouncing back, because women would rather spend time on work to at least make themselves financially independent. Also, crime rate climbs up, disparity of the poor and the rich increases, and totalitarianism may come along, for these are all derivative from patriarchy, the opposite of feminism.

[[deleted user]]

That's the only way you can beat patriarchy. You can't expect to make a change without breaking social balance of that time.

[Sherrie]

"In issues like this, feminism, racism, etc, I try not to dwell on the past and lump myself with everyone who has been part of the problem. I want to move forward, and to do that, I think I need to release myself from guilt and anger. I need to have love and understanding."

I really like this comment from Owein. I think it is an important thing to remember. He is an individual, just like all of us women are, and should not forced to feel guilty for the actions of other men.

Being aware of our privilege, be it gender or race or socioeconomic class or something else entirely, is a very large step in helping to make equality happen. When a man realizes his place in the world, his place in history, it gives him a unique perspective. When a man looks at others and says, this isn't OK, we need to fix all these years of oppression (as the OP of this thread has done)...then that's incredibly helpful for feminism and equality in general. Every person who is aware of injustice and wants to fight against it should be celebrated.