The one book no-no that will turn you off

[Justine]

dreamwild1985 wrote: "even worse, when the author doesn't describe the characters at all. grrr, i hate it! i don't want to guess what color eyes they have or how tall they are. if i have to do all the work, i should've ..."

Yes dreamwild1985: this bugs me as well. how the france am i supposed to identify with the heroine if i can't picture her?

[Justine]

Eugenia wrote: "Any book where you find out in the end or middle that white guy is really a half black guy, oh I hate that. I hate the white black man and then all of sudden he's down, oh that makes me sick. Now i..."

give me a knife Eugenia - let me help you with the hate! Do you remember we had a topic a while back when we talked about if you could re-write a movie or book what would you do....

well for any writer how use this lazy plot crap - i would have some space alien slowly digest them in its stomach acid -an inch every month!!!!!

that's how much i hate this!!!!!!!

[Justine]

i don't like BDSM- i just don't get that. it's so hilarious to me. that i can't just seem to read a book and think it is real!

[Danielle The Book Huntress , Sees Love in All Colors]

Ouch, Justine. You really don't like the "oh, I'm actually half-Black storyline." LOL!

[Danielle The Book Huntress , Sees Love in All Colors]

Jeanie, I hate to put you on the spot, but I'm looking at a couple of your books on Lulu:

Volatile and Vicious.

Considering what we discussed over the past couple of days, sex scene-wise, do I need to avoid these two books? I realize that it's bad business for you to tell a possible reader to avoid your books, but I would appreciate a warning. They sound really good.

[JeanieandJayha]

Eugenia wrote: "Jeanieandjayha wrote: "Arch wrote: "Jeanieandjayha wrote: "Arch wrote: "God is a he."

we will have to agree to disagree...not going to even debate this...i don't even debate it in divinity schoo..."

yeah life is too short, the interpretations too numerous and too many cheesecakes, chocolates and ribs to indulge in...smile

[Christy]

I can make a long list, but for the sake of my memory I'll go with one for now:

The couple has sex as soon as they meet. I'm not a prude, but the whole cliched parts are a lot more eye roll worthy when they trail behind that.

[Danielle The Book Huntress , Sees Love in All Colors]

I'm not fond of the insta-sex storyline either. It's not that romantic, IMHO. (Again no judgments against anyone's lifestyle).

[Christy]

That raises an interesting questions...Do you allow, or are comfortable with, things in real life that you wouldn't be in fiction...Or vice versa?

I don't do or condone the having sex with someone after a 'hello' and exchange of papers, but I support my friends who do. I don't have patients for fictional characters who do it, though.

Also, I don't like protaganists who are like myself, even though I enjoy my company quite a bit.

Hmmmm, I bet I could think of a lot more...

[Danielle The Book Huntress , Sees Love in All Colors]

That's a question that I'll have to think about before answering. Okay, I think this is my answer.

I don't care for certain subject matter, which we discussed on a different thread. Outside of the no-no's I don't mind reading about a human, flawed, imperfect person who makes mistakes as long as they learn and grow on the journey. Now if an author who can take that beginning and show me what motivated that person to do this, and it feels valid and adds to the story, I might have to reevaluate my opinion on it.

I don't try to spend my life judging other people, but my time is valuable for what I spend it on. So I don't tend to care for stories characters who pick up strangers to have sex with. I can't connect or empathize with that. To be honest, I don't care for fiction that focused on sex without any emotion (or for sex's sake). It's empty to me. It's just not something I'm interested in. I am a romantic and love reading romance, and that's not romantic to me. I don't judge anyone if they like erotica, but I really don't get into it. I've read some and it's titillating but that's about all I get out of it, to be honest. And sometimes it's distracting from the story when the sex is the main part of the book. I think it takes a skilled author to make a story that is equally erotic and truly romantic. I like sensual romance, but when it comes to all the chains and whips and kink, and multiple partners, and stuff going where it shouldn't be going, you will lose me pretty fast. If the author is just throwing in extra sex content to ramp up the steam-meter, I get pretty blahed out. How does it really relate?

I just read Seduce Me at Sunrise by Lisa Kleypas, and the love scenes were pretty descriptive, but the focus as on the emotions behind the act. The hero was adoring the heroine when he made love to her, and vice versa.

If the act is mainly thrust, thrust, lick, suck, tie up someone, shove a toy somewhere, and get another person in there to do some stuff, what do I get out of this? Not much! If I was interested in the clinical aspects of sex, maybe I'd appreciate it more. But clinically speaking, sex is pretty basic. What are the emotions and emotions that motivate the sex? That's more interesting to me.

[Danielle The Book Huntress , Sees Love in All Colors]

I hope I answered your question, Christy. I kind of went off on a tangent.

[Christy]

I enjoyed your thesis, it's got me thinking about my own perspective. This is something I intend to drill friends about this too, I'd like to hear their opinions.

[Danielle The Book Huntress , Sees Love in All Colors]

That's the fun part, discussing things and seeing different viewpoints. I am very curious about what motivates people.

[Arch , Mod]

I don't care for erotic stories. I don't care for detailed sex in stories.

I love tension in stories and romance.

[Yolonda]

No detailed sex?? Boo, Arch, Boooo...LOL!

[Arch , Mod]

Loni wrote: "No detailed sex?? Boo, Arch, Boooo...LOL!"

Loni, stop being bad.

[new_user]

I don't like insta-sex either, mainly because there's no tension/anticipation then and no emotion.

[Yolonda]

Arch wrote: "Loni wrote: "No detailed sex?? Boo, Arch, Boooo...LOL!"

Loni, stop being bad."

I can't help it. And I have the nerve to wonder why my son has a smart-aleky mouth.

[Arch , Mod]

When I read a book, I want a story. Sex to me is not a story. I can't see a hero and heroine stay together, whose relationship is based on sex. After a while they would get boring with one another and someone or both will cheat.

I want to see the heart pumping, not the bodies pumping.

I am not trying to offend anyone.

I'm speaking in regards to marriage. I think that sex should be only 10%.

My husband could make love to me 24/7, without our bodies connecting.

Making love is deeper than sex.

[new_user]

LOL, Eugenia. ;) I don't know if I could break it down to percentages, but sex is a significant element of marriage.

[Arch , Mod]

new_user wrote: "LOL, Eugenia. ;) I don't know if I could break it down to percentages, but sex is a significant element of marriage."

New_User, yes sex is a significant element of marriage, but a lot of people marriage is just based on sex.

I'm more than sex, so therefore in my marriage, sex will not be a huge number.

[Danielle The Book Huntress , Sees Love in All Colors]

Just my thoughts. No judgements on any one or what they should aspire to.


I agree that sex is an important part of marriage. After the time I've waited, I hope that sex will be important in my marriage when it occurs. But I also agree with Arch, that basing a marriage on sex and sexual attraction probably is unwise (at least most of the time). To be honest, I don't think most marriages just based on sex survive very long. After the kids start coming, and life stuff gets in the way, you may not even have the time or energy for a boisterous sex life. There needs to be a deeper bond and commitment to keep that marriage together.


What happens if some catastrophic illness or disability happens and you can never have sex with your spouse again? Do you divorce? Do you have an open marriage? What about elderly people who have been married so long, the spark has fizzled? If they don't have a deep, lasting connection, what will hold them together after the lust has gone?

We are all sexual beings. It's part of who we are, but there are other components and parts that I submit are more important, and should be valued equally in a marriage.

[Yolonda]

I don't mind a story that builds the sexual tension & romance throughout the book without constant sex, but at least make the actual scene interesting when it does happen.

I once read a book where the characters chose to remain celibate until marriage. The love & sexual attraction between the two was built up very well. So well that I expected the actual love scene near the end of the book to be explosive. Man talk about a letdown. It was a two paragraph snooze fest...sigh.


But the overall story was good.

[new_user]

LOL. That is a disappointment, Loni. Been there. Actually, I think I've read enough books by this point that I can actually start predicting which books will be utterly limp. LOL. It saves me some disappointment.

[Danielle The Book Huntress , Sees Love in All Colors]

I agree that's a big let down. The author needs to be consistent about the steam level, instead of an abrupt shift. I've read the opposite where I was like, what the heck is this doing in a mainstream novel? That's just as frustrating for this reader.

[new_user]

Eugenia wrote: "But love and sex are not separate from one another..."

Yeah, I wouldn't separate them either. Sex is not just a basic drive. It's an expression of feelings.

[Danielle The Book Huntress , Sees Love in All Colors]

I don't think I said that attraction wasn't a part of coming together with your mate. Of course you should be attracted to the person you want to marry, but it should be deeper than that. If you want to call yourself shallow, by all means, but I'm certainly not judging anyone or calling them shallow. In my opinion, attraction is above and beyond sexual compatibility. Yes, that's a part of it, but it's mind, soul, body, and spirit. You can call that naive if you like, but that's what I believe. We are all wired differently. All I can say is what I feel and believe, which is why I typically preface my statements by saying, "I believe."

There are cute guys that you may lust over, but if there's nothing else, then that's not someone I would want to spend fifty years with. To think a guy is cute is one thing, but to fall in love with/like/admire is another. JMO. I might call Keanu Reeves my husband jokingly, but in real life, I don't think we're that compatible.

[Danielle The Book Huntress , Sees Love in All Colors]

new_user wrote: "Eugenia wrote: "But love and sex are not separate from one another..."

Yeah, I wouldn't separate them either. Sex is not just a basic drive. It's an expression of feelings.
"


I think it depends on your beliefs about sex. For some people sex is very basic and it's nothing more than that. That's how some people can go to prostitutes and escorts for sex. For others, sex is spiritual. There is a spectrum of how people feel about sex. It depends on the person.

[Arch , Mod]

I can say a man is cute. For instance, Hugh Jackman. I have seen a picture of him two days ago and Sam came to my mind for some reason, but he's not my version of Sam. I guess it's just the built that Hugh is walking around in. He looked nice in that suit he was wearing and I can imagine Sam looking nice in a suit as well. He wore one in Gone Too Far and All Through The Night.

Anyway, I can say a man is cute, without thinking sexual things about him.

When a woman says yes to the man that wants to marry her - proposal, she had better found him attractive. Attraction is good to have, before you get married. Yet, don't marry for sex and that's what a lot of marriage is based on. Sex. No love, no communication, no anything else, but sex.

I'm sorry, but the erotic books that I have bought unaware and started reading that's what the two people were about. Sex. I don't read those kind of books and when I have noticed what kind of books that I have bought by reading a few pages. I have gotten rid of them.

I believe a relationship based on sex, will have a person looking for sex from other people.

I hope no one gets offended by what I have said, because I am not trying to offend anyone.

Erotic books, stories and detailed sex will always be a turn off to me.

I want love and romance.

[Christy]

Danielle "The Book Huntress" wrote: "I might call Keanu Reeves my husband jokingly, but in real life, I don't think we're that compatible. "

That's funny because I'd never concider Keanu Reeves as a husband but I think we'd be really compatible!

[new_user]

Danielle "The Book Huntress" wrote: "new_user wrote: "Eugenia wrote: "But love and sex are not separate from one another..."

Yeah, I wouldn't separate them either. Sex is not just a basic drive. It's an expression of feelings.
"
..."

It's influenced by psychology for everyone, Danielle. Some people have a pathological approach to sexuality, but there is no one for whom it is only instinctual, and I'm not talking about beliefs, i.e. what someone may believe about their sexuality, I'm talking about human nature, the reality of psychology. A lot of people have misguided beliefs about their sexuality.

[Justine]

Danielle "The Book Huntress" wrote: "Ouch, Justine. You really don't like the "oh, I'm actually half-Black storyline." LOL!"

Not if it is the surprised pulled at the end.

No I don't!

[Justine]

new_user wrote: "I don't like insta-sex either, mainly because there's no tension/anticipation then and no emotion. "

Oh insta sex is ok - sometimes it just happens. as long as there is a developing plot behind it.

[Danielle The Book Huntress , Sees Love in All Colors]

new_user wrote: "Danielle "The Book Huntress" wrote: "new_user wrote: "Eugenia wrote: "But love and sex are not separate from one another..."

Yeah, I wouldn't separate them either. Sex is not just a basic drive. I..."


--I can see where you're coming from, NU. I know I definitely cannot separate sex and love. For me I have to be in love with the person I give my body too. There is no question about that. I'm not trained psychologically so I can't speak for the norm, or what is pathological, so I'm not able to evaluate that for everyone. I have met people who don't feel a need to be in love with any of the people they have sex with and they are fine with that. I don't know if I would call them mentally unstable (not that you are saying that), although I might disagree with their philosophy about sex.