Tudor History Lovers discussion
OCD for Books - Support Group
message 51:
by
Marie Z
(new)
Jul 31, 2009 04:02PM
I have had piles of books sitting about since I can remember....since I was a small child. My dearest uncle and friend actually had a small separate building for his books. I would visit he and his wife in the summer...creep in a borrow a book from the 'library' and then go climb a willow tree that bent out over the Hudson River and read to my heart's content. I still have piles of books! I am considering buying an AMazon Kindle at the moment - and if I get it I bet it will be filled in no time too!
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I've made myself a promise, so that I can get my library back under control. I have to read 5 books before I can buy 1. Hopefully I will be able to keep to it, my shelves are two books deep, and that it will make me spend even more time reading!Wish me luck! I'll tell you if I fall off the wagon.
Alright then I DO wish you luck.Be strong!
Susan - How have you been doing with your promise? I wish you luck too and you're a much better woman than me to be able to keep a promise like that! What if you find a sale? lol
Colleen, you may recognize my rant :)Ladies, I thought maybe you'd feel my pain about a little episode I had the other day....
I’ve decided that I am no longer lending out my ‘good’ books because I now have to go and buy 2 books I have already bought and read and made the mistake of lending. I lent 2 books (the first two of the Outlander series that I spent over $80 to get!) to my mother-in-law (she asked...) and I specifically asked her not to break the binding. I'm pretty good about lending if people follow my simple rule of taking care of them in the way that I do. Most books I've bought and read look like they've never been out of the bookstore. So anyways, I went to my in-laws last night and I ‘sneaked’ a peek at my book (it was just sitting there) and the binding was broken. And to make matters worse, she read it in front of me and continued to open the book way too far (like pushing on the middle of the open book to make sure it was flat!
Did I not ask? Was it not my one stipulation? Was I not good enough to lend the book? So now I will not be lending the rest of them to her. I will, because she is my mother-in-law and I love her, go and get them from the library for her under the pretense of me reading the one she wants and so I can’t lend it. And then I will not open my big, fat, overly-generous mouth again about a good book that I own just in case someone wants to read it!
I know it's only paper but it's my paper damn it *wink*
After looking at the piles and piles of books all about the house I have ordered a Kindle. This does not mean that I will not buy books - or continue to have piles. I am hoping to be able to mitigate some of the piles though - and I will not be able to lend the books on the Kindle to friends! Of course, I may not like it. I'll soon know!
How about this - when I was in elementary school we had a traveling library called the "bookmobile" that came to our school. It was always my favorite day. While the other kids were playing at recess, I was browsing the shelves. This got me quite a few "geek" comments, but those people just didn't know what they were missing. As for spending money on books, I have fallen in love with my library's beautiful online ordering system. I live in a highly populated area and we have a HUGE library system, so I have been able to order just about anything I want to read. The few exceptions I purchase from Amazon or somewhere, but that is a problem. Once on the sight, or in the door, I can't seem to stop myself. Before I know it I am hundreds of dollars poorer.
Jennifer wrote: "Colleen, you may recognize my rant :)Ladies, I thought maybe you'd feel my pain about a little episode I had the other day....
I’ve decided that I am no longer lending out my ‘good’ books beca..."
I'm completely with you Jennifer! I've rebought books after lending them out and being devastated by the condition they were in upon return.
Oh, I forgot I have already broken my promise to not buy a new book unless I've read 5. This is going to be a lot tougher than I originally thought. Ugh!!!!
Jennifer wrote: "Colleen, you may recognize my rant :)Ladies, I thought maybe you'd feel my pain about a little episode I had the other day....
I’ve decided that I am no longer lending out my ‘good’ books beca..."
I completely feel your pain...I to have decided that no matter how much someone begs no one will ever be borrowing another book from my extensive library...I loaned my hard back copy of A Thousand Splendid Suns to a co worker and she let her dog chew it to shreds. That was three months ago and she has yet to replace it. Then my brother informs me that the book I loaned him (The Blade Itself) was stolen from his car...it was good but not good enough for someone to steal it! I just can not have any sympathy for Book Abusers!! =)
Oh my stars!! She let her dog chew on it???? I wouldn't let my pet near one of my own books let alone a BORROWED book!!!
I know!!! I was so upset I couldn't even talk to her!!
Robin wrote: "Oh my stars!! She let her dog chew on it???? I wouldn't let my pet near one of my own books let alone a BORROWED book!!!"I second that. My mouth just dropped.
I feel worse for you than I feel for me...
I would be so mad!
I would have cried and then bought another book.
Yeah...I took one look at it and was fuming...she acted like it was no big deal...aaaahhhh!!!!
That to me might have been the worst, when she acted like it was no big deal. I would have had a new copy in hand before I even told you, even if it was a hard to find book.
Well that is for sure what I would have done to...I have five dogs and of all the books I own the only one that was ever chewed on oddly enough was Marley & Me Love and Life with the World's Worst Dog...lol!
I would have flipped out and demanded she buy me a new book. Where are people's sense of decency? Books aside if someone lets you borrow something be respectful! Book abusers are the worst, hitlist toppers for sure!
Stephanie wrote: "Well that is for sure what I would have done to...I have five dogs and of all the books I own the only one that was ever chewed on oddly enough was [book:Marley & Me Love and Life with the World's..."LOL! That's actually more funny than sad just because of the book :)
I 'hurt' one of my friends books once. I felt terrible. It was the 1st book of his Lord of the Rings trilogy and I went out and tracked down the same edition he had and replaced before he even laid eyes on the other one. It's just the right thing to do. No question.
Exactly Jennifer and Lyn. I have a friend I used to loan books to, but she didn't keep them away from her children. No more loaning. I have certain books (paperbacks) that I will loan and am not overly concerned how they are returned, but the bulk of my library no!!! One was Pope Joan that her kids messed up the cover,I had to find someone from book club who no longer wanted theirs, since the cover had changed. I liked the old cover not the new. It's one of my favorite books. I don't think she even batted an eye at it's condition. No respect for books!
I honestly can't fathom not respecting your own or other's books. I always read mine with a cover on and don't eat while I read. The worst that has ever happened, it was a paperback, was killing a bug terrorizing my book light.
P.S. it is a tad bit funny that it was Marley and me.
Susan C wrote: "Exactly Jennifer and Lyn. I have a friend I used to loan books to, but she didn't keep them away from her children. No more loaning. I have certain books (paperbacks) that I will loan and am not ..."I've done that too. Not sure what I was thinking but ended up with bug guts all over my book :(
Stephanie wrote: "Well that is for sure what I would have done to...I have five dogs and of all the books I own the only one that was ever chewed on oddly enough was [book:Marley & Me Love and Life with the World's..."I'm still laughing! I have to ask, was the dog that chewed it a Marly breed? Both of my sisters have Marley dogs and they will chew anything. One chewed a windowsill, and the other ate a whole sweater!
Actually she's a wiener dog and when I found her in her bed with the top left hand corner chewed all up I couldn't help but laugh. She looked up at me with her big brown eyes and you could just tell she felt guilty. I just looked at her and said out loud boy could you give Marley a run for his money. I kept the book and don't plan to replace it just because now it looks so perfect...lol. When I can locate my ever elusive camera I will post a pick.
Jennifer wrote: "Stephanie wrote: "Well that is for sure what I would have done to...I have five dogs and of all the books I own the only one that was ever chewed on oddly enough was [book:Marley & Me Love and Lif..."I don't know way other way to describe how people don't take very good care of a borrowed anything except that people nowadays are so selfish. It's like doing the right thing doesn't even cross their minds. Rotten.
I completely agree Colleen, no respect for other people's things whether it be books, clothes, kitchen appliance, etc.Have you all, also noticed people are horrible with RSVP's today. It's like they don't want to reply too early in case something better come ups. I just made the invitations for my parents 50th anniversary and was the RSVP person. All their friends answered by the specified date. The new generations need a good dose of Emily Post. (oops I rhymed :)
Yes! 100% agree!!I got married last summer and was so annoyed at the lack of RSVP's and the phone calls that had to be made to find out if people were coming or not! And then, after all that, I got a phone call on the day of my wedding (just after my make-up appointment) saying that someone had decided to come after all. Now mind you it was my Nan's sister and I'm glad that she came but standing there in my veil and make-up/hair done, etc. I had to call the caterer and rearrange my seating plan! Nervy, huh?
Bad, bad, bad! Some people just don't think of the ramifications of their actions or lack of action.
I totally agree about the RSVP thing. And some folks won't bother replying unless you put an email address on there. Guess folks are too lazy to even pick up the phone now.
I think Emily Post is dead and I'm sure she's rolling over in her grave!
I know it goes against etiquette but I flat out refused to send out stamped return envelopes that I knew no one would send back so I made it really easy for people (I thought). I set up a wedding website that they could reply on, as well as including an email address AND a phone number just in case. Ugh.
Smart way to do it, I never would have come up with such a good idea. People are so addicted to their technology that you almost have to give them electronic options. Sad but true. I'm still old fashioned, this is (GR) the first blog I've ever participated in.
I must admit. I'm pretty technology dependant but if someone doesn't give me the electronic option of reply, then I send their card back in the mail. It's just the proper thing to do. I don't even think it's so much a matter of proper etiquette or following the rules as it is common sense and the proper amount of decency and respect for another person.
how about this one, my sister gave a birthday party for her eldest son a few years ago, he was turning 10 at the time, and a whole bunch of people RSVP'd that they would come, but when the day came NO ONE showed up. NOT one child, and only one parent called to say they couldn't make it after all. Can you imagine??
Oh how awful for your nephew! It breaks my heart. All the parents of the invited guests should hang their heads in shame. That's just terrible, rude, and even cruel!
Just another example of how people are not thinking of anyone but themselves.
I just received 8 books in the mail. My addiction is so.........................out of control. I have probably 300-400 books TBR and I'm still buying. I have a $3 off coupon from Alibris and it's going to be the death of me. Help!!!!!!!!
Susan - just chant "Books are my friend, books are my friend"
Lyn wrote: "how about this one, my sister gave a birthday party for her eldest son a few years ago, he was turning 10 at the time, and a whole bunch of people RSVP'd that they would come, but when the day came..."That is absolutely atrocious!!! Your poor nephew!!
Susan C wrote: "I just received 8 books in the mail. My addiction is so.........................out of control. I have probably 300-400 books TBR and I'm still buying. I have a $3 off coupon from Alibris and it..."I feel your pain...but I just went head and picked up 5 more books yesterday...all of them part of new series which just means now I must buy more!!
lol I can only help you by saying that in high school I counted my books I had about 2000. I was 18 then and I'm 26 now and I haven't really stopped buying and collecting books. I have a room full of books in my basement and shelves in my hallway, living room and spare bedroom.... No matter how bad it is, there's always some worse off, right? *whistle* 
Susan C wrote: "I completely agree Colleen, no respect for other people's things whether it be books, clothes, kitchen appliance, etc.Have you all, also noticed people are horrible with RSVP's today. It's like..."
Ohhhhh, this is one of my biggest frustrations! Half of my job is event planning, so I deal with this regularly and it never fails to irritate the hell out me! Grrr. What is so hard about RSVP'ing??
Tisha, in your line of work it would be especially infuriating. What people seem to forget is that it's the food you are messing up by either not RSVPing or doing it at the last minute. For example, a wedding caterer needs to know how many people are coming, so that they can come up with an appropriate amount of food to prepare.
Jennifer wrote: "lol I can only help you by saying that in high school I counted my books I had about 2000. I was 18 then and I'm 26 now and I haven't really stopped buying and collecting books. I have a room full ..."You definitely made me feel better that you have at least 2000 books. I'm not as far gone as I thought!
Lyn wrote: "how about this one, my sister gave a birthday party for her eldest son a few years ago, he was turning 10 at the time, and a whole bunch of people RSVP'd that they would come, but when the day came..."Oh no!! How horrible!!! I feel so sorry for your nephew! How heartbreaking for little one!! And I'd have been furious having planned and prepared for a party and then no one came.
Here I dont read this thread for 24 hours and had 24 posts to read to catch up. That will teach me. I get the people not taking care of things borrowed. I was friends with a girl down the road she always got my old books to read. I typically would take to the used bookstore as trade in credit but she was teen and loved to read so let her have for the most part save some favorites. Well came to a group of books I had mentioned loving and she wanted to read them. Problem was they were my mothers and she is even more picky about her books than I am. I finally got mom to agree to lend them on the promise they would be fine and returned as soon as read. Well the Readers Digest of it ...they were never returned at all. I was told by her mother that she never had them. (of course at the same time the girl stole jewelry samples of the jewelry I make as well and same mother said she never had any samples only pieces of jewelry I gave her ((about $600 worth)) so go figure) And I felt Far worse about my mothers books than my samples.
Susan C wrote: "I completely agree Colleen, no respect for other people's things whether it be books, clothes, kitchen appliance, etc.Have you all, also noticed people are horrible with RSVP's today. It's like..."
YES Susan C.! My mother nearly died from breast cancer so when her 10 yrs of being cancer free mark came up I (who give and give and rarely ask for anything in return) signed up for a well known breast cancer walk that included a fundraiser. The amount wasn't much and I was sure I would not only have the support from her friends but our family and my friends as well.
Boy was I wrong. I asked nicely, tried guilt, personal requests, mass e-mail, even flat out being mean and the majority couldn't be bothered to politely decline! At the least say "I'm sorry, I can't contribute". Even my three supposed closest friends didn't give a dime or an excuse. Excuse me, rudeness! Family, family, out of the whole extended bunch only two aunts, one uncle, and one cousin contributed. I was shocked at what I took to not be just selfishness but disloyalty towards me. Family and friends whom I have given up countless things for with not a second blink couldn't spare $5 to help me celebrate not losing my mum to cancer.
I always added "there is no minimum donation/every little bit helps/all donations are tax deductable". Still, people couldn't give up their daily frivioulsnesses (yes I made that up just now) to pitch in nevermind not ignoring me. I spent nearly a year fundraising. I even put up a pink thermometer on my facebook page with a simple point and click option and no one used it. Suffice to say I did ok, being about $700 shy of my goal but I was not able to do the walk because I couldn't raise enough in time. I was crushed, deeply upset. Let me say it again:
Excuse me, rudeness!
On the RSVP topic, what's up with people not doing thank you notes anymore? My mother drilled that into my thick little skull as a child. I still hate doing them but I have the good sense to know it is rude to not do them and sit down and do thank you notes anyhow.
Awful story about your walk for breast cancer. People are plain selfish and warped in the way they think. I'm very thankful your Mom made it to the 10 year mark, that's huge and should be celebrated.I also hate having to do thank you notes but I always do them. I even make the cards and I absolutely stress over what to write but alas I do it because it is the right thing!
Colleen, I'm so sorry that your family had to go through all of that worry and stress and so glad that your mom made it through her struggle! Like Susan said it is a huge thing that should be celebrated and I think it's just terrible that people who are closest to you can't appreciate that and respect it. It's funny isn't it how the friends you make online are sometimes more supportive than those IRL. Sad but I guess it's the age we live in. And thank you notes are terrible. My hand still hurts from the 200+ cards I did last year for my 2 wedding showers and my wedding. Terrible nuisance but a necessary one, IMO.
I can't actually remember the last time I got a thank you note for anything....
Tudor History Lovers
Books mentioned in this topic
Marley and Me: Life and Love With the World’s Worst Dog (other topics)The Constant Princess (other topics)
The Boleyn Inheritance (other topics)
The White Queen (other topics)
The Queen's Fool (other topics)
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