Introductions

[Will]

Welcome! It sounds like you will fit in here just fine.

[Rob]

Hi Paula. Glad to have you with us.

If you're working on your sequel and you'd like any feedback, do feel free to add it to the 'review revival' list. We're looking at Will Once's "Love, Death and Wyrds' at the moment.

Any book that sticks it to moralism and convention sounds like my sort of thing. It would be nice to have a look some time.

Anyway, welcome.

[Cee]

Paula wrote: "Hi all,

It's Paula here, from the Antipodes.

I'm the author of the bawdy, Odyssey in a Teacup, and I've almost completed the sequel (which is just as colourful). My muse is the ancient goddess o..."

Hi Paula,
I tend to smell a little of damp dogs and rabbit wee, but my heart's in the right place. Welcome.

[James]

We always welcome new talent. it gives us something to parody. Nice to have you aboard.

[Paula]

Will wrote: "Welcome! It sounds like you will fit in here just fine."

Thank you, Will

[Paula]

Rob wrote: "Hi Paula. Glad to have you with us.

If you're working on your sequel and you'd like any feedback, do feel free to add it to the 'review revival' list. We're looking at Will Once's "Love, Death and..."

Thanks, Rob. And thank you for the tip, will check it out

[Paula]

Cee Tee wrote: "Paula wrote: "Hi all,

It's Paula here, from the Antipodes.

I'm the author of the bawdy, Odyssey in a Teacup, and I've almost completed the sequel (which is just as colourful). My muse is the anc..."

Thank you, Cee Tee. We(e) writers are a strange species but all good. Smells are yet to be transmitted via www, although, some of the crap I read gets up my nose. (And gotta love an outre title. Scouring Pinterest for them is one of my hobbies ;-))

[Paula]

James wrote: "We always welcome new talent. it gives us something to parody. Nice to have you aboard."

Thank you James. I look forward to the parodying and counter-parodying. Love wordplay!

[Andy]

Another Aussie! finally I won't be the only person 12 hours behind each convo.
Welcome aboard.

[Matthew]

Hi all,

My name is Matt and I'm a writer of humorous books. Originally from Manchester but now living in Liverpool.

Payroll is my normal day job (though I was told on Wednesday I'll be redundant in the next year or so, lovely).

I've looked for places to talk about comedy books with readers or writers and this looks like a great place.

Currently working on my first full length novel called The Fantastical Gregory Shortbread, which is a continuation of my Bumpkinton Tales series.

I'm also looking to do some talks in schools with kids about getting into writing and being an author, should be doing my first one in September which is exciting/daunting as hell!

[Rob]

Hi Matt,

Nice to have you with us. Corben and I both lived in Liverpool at various times - though those periods never quite overlapped, which is a shame. (The world might otherwise have been treated to one of history's less successful comic collaborations.)

The Fantastical Gregory Shortbread sounds considerably more interesting than payroll. Let's hope you can make a great success of your novel-writing and one day look back on the present job with a wry and wistful grin.

If you would like any feedback to your present work in progress, please do visit our Review Revival thread and bung your name on there. There's a bit of a waiting list but it usually promises some valuable assessments and suggestions, coupled with the opportunity to read some very amusing material. If you get your skates on, you might even catch the last days of Will Once's review period and grab a copy of his Love, Death and... series. It's excellent stuff.

Anyway, welcome and stuff. If anyone mentions woggles, just ignore it. It's a running joke and I don't think anyone can now remember what it was about.

[James]

Hello Matthew,
and welcome to the only writer's forum where you can be banned for being sane. Sorry to hear of your forthcoming enforced career change, but who knows, it could lead to bigger things.

There are a few threads where we've reviewed each other's work (not sure if work is the right word there, perhaps I should substitute rantings) and I'm sure members would chuck a copy your way if asked.

James

[Will]

Now that's interesting. I went to Liverpool University in the 1980s. Do we all have a connection to Liverpool?

[Matthew]

Thanks for the welcome, guys :)

I'm just about to start the third draft of the novel and it's messy as hell. I had much better ideas in draft two,especially after the halfway mark, which makes parts earlier on either redundant (the irony) or in need of tweaks.

I think once I get the third draft sorted it'll be in a position to be read with plenty of suggestions welcome. May take a while though, but I'll definitely put it up for review as I think there are parts I need some ideas about. You know what it's like, you feel something extra is needed and fresh eyes can come up with an idea you'd never even thought of! :)

[James]

After a dozen read-throughs of my latest I'm still making changes. And then my wife finds that I've allowed six weekends in one calendar month.

[Rob]

Will wrote: "Now that's interesting. I went to Liverpool University in the 1980s. Do we all have a connection to Liverpool?"
I was there from 1985. Corben a little earlier, I think, though he assures me it was post-war.

No other Liverpudlian links that I know of...

[Rob]

Matthew wrote: "Thanks for the welcome, guys :)

I'm just about to start the third draft of the novel and it's messy as hell. I had much better ideas in draft two,especially after the halfway mark, which makes par..."

I decided it would be helpful to get feedback early on, so that I felt I was heading in the right direction. That's worked well for me - helping me decide where to focus and rekindle a little enthusiasm for the whole thing.

Don't feel you need to present us with anything particularly polished or complete. Will's was a complete draft but that was an exception. Most of us are still working on early drafts.

[Corben]

James wrote: "Hello Matthew,
and welcome to the only writer's forum where you can be banned for being sane. Sorry to hear of your forthcoming enforced career change, but who knows, it could lead to bigger thing..."

Will - I was there from '79 to '85. I mostly lived in a big Victorian student house on the edge of Sefton Park ... No. 5 we called it, where the architects lived. Oh no, the memories are starting to come back.

Matthew - Welcome and I'm looking forward to Gregory Shortbread.

[Will]

Heck, that means that our paths may have crossed. I was there from 1982 to 1985 in a big student house in Hartington Road, just around the corner from Seffie Parcchhh, as the locals used to call it, and probably still do.

[Corben]

Will Once ... Hartington Road? Hang on a minute, I've been crayoning in some hair on your photo and I reckon you're the kid who nicked my bike from outside the Albert pub, Lark Lane. Giz it back at once, Once.

[Matthew]

Thanks for the welcome. I think I'll pop it up once I've completed draft 3, there are lots of issues in that it's completely disjointed in places due to a change of direction, but I'll definitely hand it over for people to have a read when this draft is done.

I've been in Liverpool since 2012, moved her after meeting my now fiancee in 2010. I was here for two days in 2001 but that's as far back as my association goes! :D

[Andrew]

Hat Paula, Matt, everyone else. Summer hold are almost upon us....well us teachers anyway. A fantastic opportunity to read texts not written by my students, with no.. few....spelling errors. Happy summer to all of you.

[Corben]

Yippee, it's official. Goodreads have accepted my application and I'm now an author. I have my own dashboard with clickable buttons and everything. It doesn't get better than this.

Book release date is the 2nd September. That didn't take long ... 4 years from start to finish! Is that normal?

[Cee]

Woo Hoo!

I've always considered you an Arthur, from back in the old Authonomy days. I don't do queues but metaphorically speaking, I'll be at the front on 2nd September, crumpled notes and a jar of pennies in hand.

Congratulations, man. :)

[James]

Best of luck.

[Simon]

Hi everyone

Just looked out of the window and saw a courier wandering around looking tired, hungry and lost. I knew exactly who he was looking for... I signed for the package, gave him the rest of my toast and ran back indoors...

This morning I got a paperback copy of my first novel; 'The Miracle Adjuster'. 2nd happiest day of my life after the birth of my daughter (and that was only 3 months ago so 2016 is turning out to be a pretty good year).

If you'd like to enter the giveaway on Goodreads to win 1 of 20 signed paperback copies you can search for The Miracle Adjuster or copy and paste the link bit.ly/2aYNIEk

Nothing more to say except, dreams do come true, so get hold of one for yourself and keep working at it...

P.S. If you'd like to read the 1st chapter of my book then you can find it at my blog on my author page or copy and paste the link bit.ly/2aLapfC

[Corben]

Hi Simon,

Good luck with The Miracle Adjuster. It looks like we're launching our respective books at the same time. It would be good to share our experiences.
I noticed that you mention in your book blurb that your MC has an 'unreliable history'. Well by coincidence, our CLOG group leader and hero, Rob Gregson also has an unreliable history. In fact he has more than one ... he is the author of the splendid book 'Unreliable Histories'. Take a look, it's very good indeed.
Welcome to the Cloggers.

[Corben]

Cee Tee wrote: "Woo Hoo!

I've always considered you an Arthur, from back in the old Authonomy days. I don't do queues but metaphorically speaking, I'll be at the front on 2nd September, crumpled notes and a jar o..."

Thanks, CJ. You don't need to queue, I'll send you one.

[Corben]

James wrote: "Best of luck."

Cheers, Jimbo.

[Norman]

Hi
I'm a slobbering alcoholic and forgot i was a member of this drinking club. The wine cellar looks a little bare - is that Gregson fellow slacking again.

Hope you guys are all well and pumping out the larfs ...

Duty calls ... why a house must be clean is beyond me.

Norm

[Cee]

Corben wrote: "Cee Tee wrote: "Woo Hoo!

I've always considered you an Arthur, from back in the old Authonomy days. I don't do queues but metaphorically speaking, I'll be at the front on 2nd September, crumpled n..."

Thanks Corben. Top bloke. :)

[Steve]

Hello.

Can I join your group please? I like to think I'm a comedic writer, of sorts...

I tried to be a serious journalist, but found magazine editors get really hung up on these 'fact' thingies which I could never quite get the hang of, so I turned my hand to writing an Old Testament Space Opera - which in hindsight sounds like it should have been funny, but wasn't.

In the process of writing that, enough people told me that my blogs were funny that I eventually believed them, and... well, here I am.

Hopefully I'll write some occasional funny posts in here, otherwise you'll have to hunt me down on social media and laugh at pictures of my car.

[Corben]

Hi Steve,

Welcome to CLOG. It's been a tad quiet here during the summer hols but I happen to know that there are a couple of WIPs up for review in the near future (Andy Paine & Cee Tee Jackson).

Do you have a comedy on the go at the mo? Why not bring it here for feedback. There's nothing we like better than a new comedy story hot off the typewriter.

[Steve]

At the moment I'm working on The Ambivalence Chronicles - a comic fantasy in 8 bits.

Is there a secret place for sharing stuff? Bit#1 is close to finished so I don't want to make it too freely available, but don't mind having a few more opinions before sending it to press!

[Corben]

Sounds good. There's a review thread here: https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/...

If you would like anything reviewed then that's the place to go. There are a few books on the list so it might take a while. We usually ping each other stuff by email and post comments in a thread dedicated to the book.

[Rob]

Hey Steve. Welcome.
Corben has summarised it very nicely. We don't make our various works public here, but we do usually share our feedback publicly. Partly, that's just to make sure we don't all repeat the same issues and suggestions.
We've got Soul Survivor up this month and then one of Andy P's Titanic Tales in October. If you want to take the November slot, we'd welcome the new material.

[Kimmy]

Hello,

My name is Kimmy and I'm an alcoholic, but that isn't really relevant. I searched for "humor" and Goodreads landed me here, and after reading the above introductions I decided to pop a squat. Since I'm American I pretty much own this group, now that I've stumbled across it and all.

I'm a primarily nonfiction humor writer that dabbles in short stories, and am always looking for reading suggestions. My first book was released two months ago, so I'm also willing to grovel for reviews.

Pussy Planet and Other Endearing Tales

[Rob]

Hi Kimmy. Good to hear from you.

Most of us here write fiction-based humour and a small majority of us spell that with a U - (largely for historical reasons and because we harbour a love of pointless complication. Ditto the word 'harbour', of course.)

That said, we're a cosmopolitan bunch with members in both hemispheres, and the more continents we represent, the better everyone tends to feel. Cee Tee's last work was a non-fiction, comedic work and it's done pretty well. I really enjoyed it and I'd certainly welcome another in a similar vein.

Anyway, I'm glad you found us and I'm sure you'll hear from one or two of the others, too. They're a nice bunch - though watch out for Andy Paine. It seems he has a peculiar attachment to cactus. (I saw his photo on Facebook recently and it looked nasty. I'm beginning to think that Paine is just a nickname rather than his actual surname.)

Sorry. I digress.

This group started out as as peer review community on a now defunct site called Authonomy. We used to read one another's works in progress, provide constructive criticism and generally help people out. (Like a sort of International Rescue for indie writers, but without the luxury island retreat.)

That's pretty much what we're doing now; circulating works in progress and inviting feedback. We don't mind reviewing finished works, too, provided that a) you're open to the feedback and b) you're happy to reciprocate from time to time.

No grovelling necessary.

[Andy]

Ha note to all; cacti are not friendly. They are downright cantankerous. Who knew.

You know I didn't seem to be so injury prone before I started my new book. Those supreme beings sure can hold a grudge. Not sure why Karma is against me though; I made her my MC after all!

Welcome aboard Kimmy.

[Will]

Welcome, welcome, welcome. I really don't know if I dare read something called "Pussy Planet". I didn't know that Mrs Slocombe had made it across the pond.

You'll fit right in here. Grovelling for reviews is part of what we do.

[Cee]

Hi Kimmy,

Welcome to our wee group of Cloggers. It suddenly feels like the temperature has shot up in here.
My book 'Damp Dogs & Rabbit Wee' has some tales of bad tempered cats in it. Right growlers, they were.
Anyway - your book looks way more exciting than mine - so I've immediately added to my list of those I intend to read asap.
Nice to have you here.

[Kimmy]

Thanks for the warm welcome, everyone! I look forward to reading and chatting with you all.

[Simon]

Hello again

My novel ‘The Miracle Adjuster’ is now available on Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk in paperback or ebook for Kindle amzn.to/2bXKodT

Here’s a couple of cherry-picked quotes from the first reviews:

“…a journey through a psychedelic drug induced dream sequence; almost new age Monty Pythonesque”.

“The Miracle Adjuster exists in an Orwellian fantasy world full of off-beat characters, situations and humour. The writing style is excellent; the imagination is fantastic and it’s a very clever novel”.

You can still enter the Goodreads giveaway to win 1 of 20 signed copies at bit.ly/2aYNIEk and you can find the first chapter on my Goodreads blog at bit.ly/2aLapfC

[Desmond]

British black humour. Lots of laughs. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ts2GP...

There's a Goodreads Giveaway starting September 6th as well

[David]

Hello all.

I've recently published 5 shorts from a proposed 36 story epic, set in a fictional Scottish town called Dóchas, where all manner of strange creatures live and all types of weird occurrences... occur. I never do the elevator pitch thing, but dammit its X-Files meets League of Gentlemen I suppose. Or maybe some dark humorous chicken, wrapped in weird pancetta.

So far, the stories have taken on cults, superheroes, aliens and spies with a free introductory story with a midge-human hybrid as the antagonist.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to participating in the community, and I you're interested in reading any of my shorts (and they are short) then let me know.

Cheers,

David

[Rob]

Hi David. Welcome to CLOG. It's good to hear that you're happy to get stuck in.

By the sound of your non-elevator pitch, you should fit right in here. Weirdly, I had midge-human hybrid in my last book (The Endless Land.) It was a were-midge to be absolutely accurate, but it amounted to much the same thing. Not a major character - more of a brief aside - but an interesting coincidence, anyway.

The process for getting on the list is pretty simple. If you want some constructive feedback to your tales, we'll put you on the Review Revival list. The next available slot is December. (We read one a month.) Between now and then, we're reviewing Soul Survivor, Dumb Luck and then Pussy Planet & Other Endearing Tales. I'm sure Cee Tee, Andy and Kimmy would welcome your thoughts.

To get the ball rolling, just let me have an email address. That way, the various writers can send you their works in progress. Thereafter, it's just a matter of reading a bit, reviewing a bit and occasionally trying to make each other smile.

[David]

Thanks Rob. Its good to know I'm not alone with my midge themed work.

[Val]

Hi,
I’m Val; commitmentphobe, intermittent blogger and terminal procrastinator. Also, writer of comic fantasy – think Pratchet meets Wodehouse at Police Academy. (I know the last one’s a film but, hey, I’m eclectic.)

I self-published my first book two years ago, then ground to a halt – I’m a writer, not a publicist. I want to get on with writing the next four books, but the first one won’t leave the nest and fly on its own. Not surprising, since I’m so far from blowing my own trumpet that I don’t even own a trumpet, and haven’t yet looked up the phone number of the instrument shop.

Anyway, I’m hoping that joining this group will encourage me to step away from the teapot and at least write a few reviews. Hopefully I might get one or two in return. (Oooh, maybe I could blow my own teapot? At least the bubbles would make a satisfyingly comic sound.)

Anyway, here’s the link to the links to everything else.
my author page

[Rob]

Val wrote: "Hi,
I’m Val; commitmentphobe, intermittent blogger and terminal procrastinator. Also, writer of comic fantasy – think Pratchet meets Wodehouse at Police Academy..."

Hi Val. Lovely to hear from you. Welcome. Your humour influences sound brilliant; I'm looking forward to seeing how they manifest themselves on the page.

If you're up for offering a few reviews, then we're developing a half-decent list that you can get your literary teeth into. To start with, we've got a few thousand words from Cee Tee (though he's rewriting now so maybe he'll pass on any further reviews for the time being.) If so, then next up is Andy Paine with Dumb Luck. Then Pussy Planet, and then something from David Little. If you're happy to give those a look-over, then you'd be very welcome to add yourself to the list as our Featured Funny Fiction (FFF) for January.

Some of us read on ahead of the schedule so I dare say you'll get the odd (i.e. occasional and/or peculiar) review before your allotted month.

Anyway, if you're interested, please let me have your email address. I'll then pass it on to the other CLOGgers so the relevant authors can send you their latest drafts and you can do the same when it's your turn.

If you don't want to post your address here, please send it to me at robgregsonwords (at) gmail .com.

Oh, and the teapot trumpet sounds like an excellent and potentially patentable idea.

[Will]

Welcome! Your history sounds almost exactly like mine. I've often felt like a Bonesian "Damn it, Jim, I'm a writer not a publicist".

Sorry but I haven't a clue what the answer is. But maybe we can all go looking for it together.