Getting to know characters

[Madison]

Hi everyone! I just thought I'd have a discussion with you on getting to know characters. To me, it seems like they're all different. Coaxing the knowledge about themselves out of them is a bit like interacting with real people. They all have different personalities.
Some of them are outgoing, and I barely even need to ask. I'll know so much about them in 20 minutes I'll wish I hadn't. Others are trickier. I've had to take soe out on an imaginary lunch date. I've had to praise others and fluff their ego. I've even threatened a few with total obliteration and the removal of any and all chance to have their story written. Unfortunately, these characters usually call my bluff, but a few days of ignoring them usually does the trick.
Once, I couldn't get to know one of the primary characters in a short story. Nothing had worked. I was feeling despondent enough already, and then I had the worst day. I couldn't fall asleep, dropped my phone in water, got blisters from wearing incorrect foot wear, and couldn't find the place I was supposed to be which made me late. As I came home and wilted onto my bed to listen to sad music and wallow in self-pity, something amazing happened. He started giving me ideas. It's like he felt so bad for me that he finally gave in and told me about himself. Needless to say, the rest of the day was made quite happy. He's actually one of my favorite characters now. We have a bond. :P
Does anyone else have any stories about finding their own characters?
(This post makes me sound like I have a mental illness. No, I don't. I just have a bunch of characters wandering around my mind. Hoping that's just a normal author thing.)

[Ezra]

I have a problem with characters who don't do as they are told. I write them in as some sort of background cipher to help out the main character. Then pow, they are front and centre, stealing the plot and riding it into the sunset.
Worse, three Beta readers each had a different character they really liked best. Only one was supposed to be a main character. I sometimes wonder who is writing the book, me or them.
Don't worry about feeling loopy. I have the same thing. Characters and worlds are born in my head and want to LIVE.

I've tried to kill one person three times. She was supposed to die, again and again, but won't. I'll get her in the end, I just need the right plot. A situation she can't write herself out of. :-)

[Martin]

My characters are just some words I've typed. Then some of the words start to grow some place. The good characters start to talk on their own. Then I just type what they say. All of their really good lines are their own, not mine.

Sometimes it helps to take 'em to lunch and have a nice, long chat. They'll tell you a lot.

And you do worry that people will start to suggest treatments for your problem. "... sound like I have a mental illness." Yeah. Maybe we do. Keep writing!