Writing Style vs. Grammar

[Madison]

Hey everyone!
I was curious. Does anyone else use sentence fragments? Sparingly, of course. I sometimes like to put in a sentence that goes something like this: "You reach the photos in the memory box. Vacation spots, photo booth strips, all the times your parents just had to take those Halloween photos where you always look like you're 12 no matter the actual age."
I know that's not technically "correct" in the eyes of the grammar world, but it it acceptable? At what point do you just take it as a writer's style as long as it is not too frequent?
Hemmingway seems to have a distaste for any sort of punctuation in some sentences in A Farewell To Arms. No offense to him, I truly dream to reach such lofty heights as a writer, but it's an example of writing style.
Penny for your thoughts?
(I do not actually have any pennies, but I will give you an imaginary one, if you'd like.)

[G.G.]

I'm bad with punctuation so in your example, I would have used a colon after the word box instead of a period. I see the following sentence as an enumeration of things. That's probably the only thing I would change.

[Elizabeth]

As an author, I do use sentence fragments sparingly-- twice in a 500 page book plus a couple times in dialogue. It needs to look and read like its supposed to be there. Note: Your editor will probably ask you about it.

As a reader, same thing. If it looks like it supposed to be there.

Your example isn't bad, but I agree with GG. You are writing a list so you can use a colon. However, there is a few other issues in the sentence. I think you are missing a word. If you are a fan of Hemingway, you will understand why I would suggest cutting the unnecessary clause.

You reach {for?} the photos in the memory box: vacation spots, photo booth strips, Halloween photos where you always look like you're 12 no matter the actual age.

Hope this helps.

[Heather]

Yes, it is fine. I do this as well. Just use it sparingly, sometimes I overdo, but I try to catch that in the editing.

[Michael]

Madison wrote: "Hey everyone!
I was curious. Does anyone else use sentence fragments? Sparingly, of course. I sometimes like to put in a sentence that goes something like this: "You reach the photos in the memory ..."

I don't think abandoning correct grammar helps you in this case. If you choose to use fragments, do it for effect. Terse language works best. In your specific case a colon and some pruning of extraneous words works better.

[Martin]

Fragments? Hell, yes! Short, punchy fragments!

But not too often.

Talk to me about serial commas. I like 'em with a little brown sugar and milk, for breakfast.

[[deleted user]]

All our little foibles are sins until the book is a smash hit.

Then they become a refreshing original alternative use of punctuation :-)

I like to have at least a couple of fragments, a run-on sentence and some comma sins (especially the splice)in every book or I'm not really trying.

My editor understands, she tries to show me which I can get away with rather than remove them all.

[Anne]

Madison wrote: "Hey everyone!
I was curious. Does anyone else use sentence fragments? Sparingly, of course. I sometimes like to put in a sentence that goes something like this: "You reach the photos in the memory ..."

I'm glad I'm not the only one to do this. When I write, I find I like to use a sentence fragment as a way to emphasize a point, or as a continuation of a thought. When I write it, it seems clear and obvious to me, because it's MY thinking. Then I find that when other people read it, they don't think like me and so it doesn't always make sense to them, so it gives them a double-take "huh, what?" moment and they're looking for the missing piece. Just another perspective -- but I think the point is, if it makes sense to the reader, why not?

[Tim]

Hemingway won a Pulitzer for The Old Man and the Sea, and Cormac MCcarthy won one for The Road. Both lack punctuation, and structure in a huge way.

[Alex]

Anything (fragments, run-on sentences, bad punctuation, no punctuation, even good punctuation)is correct if it produces the effect you want to obtain. Doing it out of ignorance is a different story.

[Temple]

Norman Mailer was brilliant with sentence fragmenting. Ditto for Elmore Leonard. Perhaps they understood that, to have bad manners, you must first learn to have good manners. I love John's message on Oct 05. Wisdom.

[BR]

Used for effect. It needs to read in such a way as to add to the story or the emotion or the description. People often speak in fragments. It can help your dialogue to feel more natural. But you need to know that you're doing it and use it judiciously.

[Anne]

B.R. -- you've nailed it. I just used a sentence fragment in a short story. When I re-read it several days later, it stood out like a sore thumb. I re-worked it into a sentence and it was more effective (to a reader), even though I hated to give it up.

[[deleted user]]

Just doing that, going through a novel removing the excessive sinning. Most of the grammar crimes work better in speech as you pointed out B.R., but not too often.

Sometimes they are just right. My editor will thin the herd further, of course. She occasionally mentions experimental grammar. (Then I'll sneak a couple back in)

[TZ]

Personally? I'm more concerned about your use of second person narration and the passive voice of your query.

Despite the missing preposition, colon, and comma . . . if the "flow" of the narrative remains and you are adding to it then I do not see a problem; however, I think Anne's point is the most important one made thus far - no matter how well you understand the writing; the reader must understand it, or it is all for naught.