I hate shelving erotica books when there's an old man standing there

[Jamie]

I always check to see if he has a boner. I probably shouldn't, but I have to know. It's like, if someone is within five feet of me, I need to know the status of their arousal.

[shellyindallas]

that reminds me of when i used to work in a bar and at closing we had to pump the air out of all the wine. i don't know if you know what i'm talking about, but you have to grip this pump at its base with one hand and then with the other pump the lever up and down. anyways, at 1:45 the usual suspects still hanging around the bar are lonely dudes who couldn't manage to pick anybody up for the night and while i refused to look up i could just feel their drunk eyes staring at me. (shiver)