The "First Sentence Hook."

[D.E.]

Hey,

So, I'm curious as to how closely you subscribe to the "first sentence hook."

I've been a reader my whole life, and as a reader, I never really paid attention to the first sentence. (At least, not consciously.) I usually give a book 100 pages to hook me. If I’m not invested by then, I probably won’t finish.

However, since publishing my novels, the “first sentence hook” is pushed quite heavily.

Out of curiosity, I decided to do a quick survey of some of my favorite books and see what their first sentences are (traditionally published, “mainstream” authors).

To be 100% honest, I had to hunt to find a really hook-worthy first sentence.

“Patriot Games” by Tom Clancy has a good one: “Ryan was nearly killed twice in half an hour.”

But so many were like:

“Jurassic Park” by Michael Crichton: “The tropical rain fell in drenching sheets, hammering the corrugate roof of the clinic building, roaring down the metal gutters, splashing on the ground in a torrent.”

Descriptive, but a hook?

“Storm Front” by Jim Butcher: “I heard the mailman approach my office door, half an hour earlier than usual.”

Um … zzzzzz. Granted, the second sentence adds to it: “He didn’t sound right.” – but it’s not technically the first sentence.

How about “Harry Potter” by J.K. Rowling: “Mr and Mrs Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.”

To me, that first sentence is an anti-hook. Why would I want to keep reading about normal people?

In my first book I didn’t really try for a first sentence hook. I wanted the first few paragraphs to be engaging part. My sequel, I feel, has a good first sentence hook, but my focus was on making that opening scene a grabber.

So, how you do approach the first sentence hook? Is it important to you, or do you have enough faith in your work (and readers) to go for a strong overall opening?

Something else? Do you try and write a hook somewhere in the first paragraph, perhaps?

[[deleted user]]

D.E. wrote: "Hey,

So, I'm curious as to how closely you subscribe to the "first sentence hook."

I've been a reader my whole life, and as a reader, I never really paid attention to the first sentence. (At leas..."

In my opinion, all of the first sentences you listed were hooks. Jurassic Park begins with an interesting weather condition, promising that things won't be normal. Defying normal also is the Harry Potter hook, indicating that although Mr. and Mrs. Dursley thought they were normal, others who knew them probably didn't, and for good reason. Storm Front, coupled with its title, uses the first sentence to let you know that this won't be a routine day. At least that's my take on it.

I had to look at my own books to see whether or not I used a hook. To Summon The Blackbird uses the first paragraph to set the scene, so probably not a hook except the scene itself. The second edition version of Ship of Storms does, I believe, begin with a hook: "Nothing was going to change. Not unless change was forced." Of course, that's two sentences.

The book I'm currently reading, Sphere, by Michael Crichton merely sets the scene, but the scene itself is a hook: "For a long time the horizon had been a monotonous flat blue line separating the Pacific Ocean from the sky." The main character was actually asleep. But you know from the rest of the paragraph that something is going to happen.

"Setting the hook" can be done in a variety of ways, and it just depends on what a particular reader needs to get hooked.

[Charles]

I like using end of chapter hooks.

[C.B., Beach Body Moderator]

Yes, that Harry Potter one is very catchy. It tells you a lot about their attitudes, others perceptions of them (if they are normal, why do they need to clarify), and even that they are a bit snarky, thank you very much

:D

A first sentence can be a hook, but I find a mood setter is just as good.

My first sentence (in all my novels) is:

Zing!

That's it, just zing. It is not only the sound of an action happening in the sentence right after, but Zing is also used sometimes after a joke. This is why I did that, it sets the entire mood of the novels. They are not serious, so get ready for some zingers.

I don't think you necessarily need a hook as a first sentence, but I think it can be used effectively to help the reader, so I say, go for it.

[Anfenwick]

I don't pay that much attention to the first sentence. The first few pages, maybe. And I don't necessarily require a 'hook' as some people interpret it: i.e. something astonishing and puzzling happens. My interest can be held by a well-written description or an interesting opinion, or.. just about anything. It's more that a few openings will turn me off, but that's fairly rare. My biggest turn-off is the standard, cinematographically written 'hero-in-dilemma' moment. It's what the writing advice seems to recommend and I just groan.

[D.E.]

Good points, all.

And, as is usually the case, it varies person to person. :)

What I don't find as a hook, others do. I like the Tom Clancy hook because it throws me right into the conflict.

So I suppose the genre determines the style of hook as well.

[Jon]

The teeth were distinctly inhuman.

That is my planned start of a fantasy novel. Hook?

[Virginia]

I'm a big fan of catchy opening lines, both as a reader and author, but as long as they're well written and interesting I don't care if they're a cliff hanger or otherwise action related. I am drawn in by interesting description, or by interesting action, or intriguing dialogue. And I'm generally willing to give an author at least a full page to draw me in even if the first line doesn't do it.

That said, I have been turned away by abysmal first lines before.

So, while I wouldn't worry about the first line being mind blowing or world changing, I would worry about it being at least a strong example of the author's writing and representative of the book as a whole. For example, if the book is largely an action thriller the opening probably shouldn't be a flowery description of the scenery or a drawn out history of the world. (I feel this is where people get into trouble with prologues.)

My two cents.

[Christina]

It's kind of funny that you mention this because if you were to ask me to name a memorable first sentence from any book, all I would come up with is 'It was a dark and stormy night.'
But..
I just took a Buzzfeed quiz to see if I could name a book based on their first line and I'll be darned if I didn't get all of them right with the only exception being a couple of books I never read. So clearly, they stay with me on a subconscious level at least.

As for my own writing, I can't say that I've put much thought into it. I've only recently heard that there are some "rules" to beginning a book and I've likely broken all of them (like starting a book with dialog). The way I see it, if I've only got one line to grab someone's attention, then we as a society have way too many distractions. :)

[D.E.]

Christina wrote: "The way I see it, if I've only got one line to grab someone's attention, then we as a society have way too many distractions. :) "

Yeah, that's a big part of the issue for me.

I grew up way before social media was even a thought. Books were my entertainment, so the longer the better. Movies didn't have the technology to distract us from mediocrity with 3D and CGI - they had to depend upon compelling stories and strong characters.

So, while I think that someone who decides which book to read based upon the first sentence is a fool -- I would be a fool not to recognize that society is at such a place.

If I bury my head and refuse to acknowledge this, well, two words: Blockbuster Video.

So, consider a hook line - but don't obsess over it, right? :) Must find that balance.

[[deleted user]]

My debut novel starts with, "The explosion rocked the engine room of the alien vessel orbiting Earth, killing three engineers."

[Dwayne, Head of Lettuce]

D.E. wrote: "So, I'm curious as to how closely you subscribe to the "first sentence hook.""

Like most rules of writing, this one is a bit dated and stale. You hit on exactly the reason I feel that way - whether the first sentence will catch the attention of the reader or not really depends more on the reader than the writer. Of your examples, I found all of them interesting in some way. Even the mailman one that you described as "Zzzzz" has me a little curious about the kind of person that keeps track of when the mailman comes. As for the Harry Potter one, it's in the tone in which you read it. I read it as being a bit of a joke, a sarcastic jab at their viewing themselves as "normal".

Now, as for my writing - One of my highest rated books contains seventeen short stories, all of which begin with a sentence like, "Bob walked into Happy Clown Burger #3209 in Snokalamatee, Wisconsin."

That's a "Zzzzz" opening.

Another high rated one starts, "Mr. Meeker usually slept soundly."

Yay! Describing someone's sleeping habits is exciting!

My best seller starts, "The last words his daughter communicated to him were via text message, saying, 'you should have been there, dad. We won!'"

Meh. Feels clichéd.

I do like this one, "And it came to pass that on television screens across America, John the Televangelist appeared" from my second best seller.

This is my personal favorite, "The scream of a little girl shattered the air like crackling glass across the grounds of Doctor Frenzzee's Nomadic Extravaganza."

Anyway. I don't really use the first sentence as a "hook" as much as I use it as a way to set the mood of the story.

[Christina]

D.E. wrote: "Movies didn't have the technology to distract us from mediocrity with 3D and CGI - they had to depend upon compelling stories and strong characters."

Wait. You mean Jaws 3D didn't rock your socks off? ;)

All kidding aside, you do have a point, but for me, the bigger hook is leading people to where they can find books in the first place. We're up against so many other distractions that if I can get someone to crack open the Kindle app instead of Candy Crush, I call it a win. If they made it that far, they can at least stick with me for a full page.

[Amanda]

I never really thought of a hook line when I write. Maybe because I don't really pay attention when I read myself. I have two books published and my first is doing better than the second. Is it because of the first sentence? Never thought about it....

First book hook.... His footsteps thundered down the hallway, each step creating a beat to the drum of war.

Second book hook.... The lightning flashed across the night sky.

[April]

I don't subscribe to "the first sentence hook" at all. I think it's a gimmick. It's irrelevant. When was the last time you put down a book because the first sentence didn't grab you? Never.

Now, hooks are vitally important in a book (fiction and nonfiction, both), but at a much higher level, such as chapter by chapter, or book by book (in a series). A great hook at the end of each chapter will keep your readers reading. That's what makes a book "hard to put down."

April

[Micah]

Before I comment, let me drop this link on you, the first in a series of podcasts between Jon Armstrong (author of Grey, and Yarn) and editor Juliet Ulman (acquired and edited titles for Bantam Books, Bantam Spectra, freelance edited books from HarperCollins Publishers, Random House, Inc., Sterling Publishing Group, Amazon Publishing, and Night Shade Books).

Their first podcast was all about first sentences, what they called pick-up lines:

http://theseventhdraft.com/pick-up-li...

[Micah]

Now...for myself, I don't particularly subscribe to the religion of the first sentence hook. So many people make such a big deal out of it, yet I've noticed that a lot of books I've really liked have quite lackluster beginning sentences.

Good clever ones are great to have (The Hobbit and A Clockwork Orange come to mind), but most books don't "hook" me with the first sentence. I'm not even sure I'm focusing on that. The first couple pages have to draw you in, sure, but that is most often accomplished with an overall gestalt rather than "Badda-bing! Hey, how 'bout that opening!"

That being said, I've noticed that I've started paying more attention to my openings. Can't claim to have mastered it, though.

One thing I can say is that weather report beginnings bore me to tears. So do dress up doll openings (a full description of the protagonist: hair color and style, eye color, height, weight, what they're wearing, etc.).

I do quite like dialog openings even though I've heard they drive editors crazy. If you can write dialog well, and have a decent enough plot, chances are good I'll keep reading. I've tried to tone down some of the ones I've written, but I do like reading them from other authors so I don't see what the problem is, especially in a world where storytelling is primarily done in the visual mediums of film and TV...where dialog is supreme.

[Charles]

First sentence hooks can be insulting on occasion, especially if they give away too much.

[Justin]

Its one of those things I've heard recently that it's always good to start a book off with a creative hook. For my upcoming novel I decided to up this idea a bit. Rather then just open the book with a catchy sentence with a hook I decided to give every opening sentence in the start of a chapter a hook. So this way I can try to pull the reader back in if I'm losing them.

[E.A.]

D.E. wrote: "So, I'm curious as to how closely you subscribe to the "first sentence hook.""

I think the first sentence is important, but not as important as the blurb about the whole book. If that doesn't catch the reader's interest, they won't even open the book to read the first sentence.

For my first book, "Goliath", the first sentence is: The room was almost completely black so it was nearly impossible to see the profile of the man sitting at a desk in front of a laptop computer.

For my second book, "The Legacy", the first sentence is: Eric Baxter gradually gained consciousness with a bad taste in his mouth, a mixture of blood and dirt."

[Micah]

...and in the long run I believe a book's ending, rather than its beginning, is more important. A great beginning might get people to buy the book in the first place, but a great ending will have them telling all their friends about it and buying your other books.

First impressions are fleeting. Endings make an everlasting impression (good and bad).

[Charles]

That's a good way to look at it.

[Paul]

My first and only self-published book begins with

"As far back as my memory serves we have always been at war."

Which I suppose is a bit of a hook "Who's we? What's the war about? etc" but it, and the entire "Prologue" are something of a red herring in terms of style and attitude, so I don't know if it fits.

[Christina]

The very first line of my very first book is long to the point of run on and doesn't say much of anything useful except the MC's full name:

Lucy Soriano awoke to the realization that the nightmare about needles being driven into her scalp was not a dream, but in fact the very real and very sharp claws of a hungry kitten.

I still like it though.

[Micah]

Christina wrote: "...Lucy Soriano awoke to the realization that the nightmare about needles being driven into her scalp was not a dream, but in fact the very real and very sharp claws of a hungry kitten..."

Someone's been watching Simon's Cat:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0ffw...

[Christina]

Ha! No, never saw that, but cat behavior is pretty universally dickish. ;)

[Micah]

First sentence/paragraph of one of my novellas:

"The Head was in a jar…more or less."

[Christina]

Micah wrote: "First sentence/paragraph of one of my novellas:

"The Head was in a jar…more or less.""

I would say that is one hell of a hook.

[Micah]

Christina wrote: "Micah wrote: "First sentence/paragraph of one of my novellas:

"The Head was in a jar…more or less.""

I would say that is one hell of a hook."

Thanks! Unfortunately it's not particularly reeling them in.

[Micah]

This might be the "first" sentence of my new one ("might" because I'm still tinkering with it; "first" because it is the first sentence of Chapter One; there is a very brief prologue of sorts which I'm calling First Principle, but as we know, some people skip those):

"She moved across Mark’s eScreen as if she didn’t know he was watching her, as if she wasn’t going to make him late for work, as if she wasn’t totally naked except for a knee-length plaid skirt."

Gotta love them femme fatales.

[Owen]

D.E. wrote: "Hey,

So, I'm curious as to how closely you subscribe to the "first sentence hook."

In a word, no. They can be fun and there are some quite good ones here. (Especially those two by Micah above, although I think the second one would be better with knee-high socks than a knee-length skirt. Anyway...)

But the principle that they are important -- or worse, necessary -- is an iniquitous modern invention.

So we don't do hooks anywhere (intentionally). We require commitment up front. Readers need to be in it for the long haul; to show dedication; to roll up their sleeves and dig in; to prove they can go the distance; to endeavor to persevere -- no quickies, no one night-stands, no slam-bam-thank-you (author).

But that's just us.

[Owen]

Charles wrote: "First sentence hooks can be insulting on occasion, especially if they give away too much."

If I read a first sentence and the thought pops into my head (which it often does): "This is a hook," I'm done with the book, and I'm done with that author. No appeal, no second change. Done.

OK, if the author is a member of this group they get an automatic reprieve. (I'm not completely without a heart, despite what some may think.)

[Owen]

Christina wrote: "The very first line of my very first book is long to the point of run on and doesn't say much of anything useful except the MC's full name:

Lucy Soriano awoke to the realization that the nightmare..."

Now, this is an excellent example of what I'm talking about. I read this and I didn't think "This is a hook," because I was laughing so hard. I know cats. (When I was grow up, our gray Persian left a decapitated gopher head on my mom's pillow, two inches in front of her left eye, at 6 AM, and then woke her up. She was not amused. Alas, this could not be said for the rest of us. Poor mom. We should have shown more sympathy. Eventually, we may have.)

So, all good. I'm reading that book... :-D

[Owen]

Christina wrote: "Ha! No, never saw that, but cat behavior is pretty universally dickish. ;)"

Yep! But so "writable". ;-)

[Micah]

Owen wrote: "...I think the second one would be better with knee-high socks than a knee-length skirt..."

It's hard to appeal to everyone's fetish at the same time. ;)

[L.]

I do like dialog as an opener. I believe we as humans are biologically programmed to respond to human speech. It's easier to fall asleep to the drone of traffic than to voices in the next room: our brain is primed to listen. So yeah...I did start off with dialog:
"I can find no explanation for this curious malady."

What I don't care for is 3 paragraphs about the landscape...which is how a lot of fantasy novels seem to start.

[Christina]

*Jots notes* Start all future books with cats or mostly nekkid ladies.
;)

The lengthy descriptions do tend to cause me to skim as well. Whether it's the landscape, history, or some technobabble in a scifi, it's usually better if the author gives me time to care about the characters before throwing a lesson at me. Granted, I have been known to violate this myself. I blame the misguided writi g lessons from junior high that required a five page descriptive essay about a bowl of fruit or a baseball glove. ;)

[Owen]

Christina wrote: "*Jots notes* Start all future books with cats or mostly nekkid ladies.
;)..."

Yep. That'll work ... ;-D

[L.]

Everyone wonders how to sell their books, but for me it's the "look inside" feature. Lots of books sound like a great concept, but I always read the first few pages. If they are loaded with boring description, forget it. And sometimes the first paragraph is enough to make or break.

[Micah]

L. wrote: "Everyone wonders how to sell their books, but for me it's the "look inside" feature. Lots of books sound like a great concept, but I always read the first few pages. If they are loaded with boring ..."

Agree 100%. More people need to learn to use the Look Inside feature and (mostly) ignore reviews and advice from friends. If you can't tell whether an author is worth ready in the first 20% (or whatever) of the book, then you might as well throw dice to figure out which book to buy/read.

This is how I define the elements of a book and what makes me buy them:

Book Cover -- makes me look at the blurb
Blurb -- makes me read the sample
Look Inside/sample -- makes me want to keep reading
Reviews -- make me wonder about the human race

];P

[Dwayne, Head of Lettuce]

Owen wrote: "Yep. That'll work ... ;-D"

Then I shall scrap all my ideas and start writing a series of novels about half-naked women and their cats.

[Micah]

...now I need to write a cat into my new novel...

[Dwayne, Head of Lettuce]

L. wrote: "Everyone wonders how to sell their books, but for me it's the "look inside" feature."

The first few paragraphs / pages work like a movie trailer for me. It's the one thing that will sell or not sell the book. A movie might have a nice poster or star some actor I like, but if the trailer doesn't interest me, I won't likely see the movie. With books, it's usually the title and cover that catch my attention, but I won't buy unless I like the first few paragraphs or pages. I seldom even look a the blurb or reviews.

[Micah]

Well, I look at blurbs because a well written blurb is hard to do. If you can do that, then at least there's some hope!

Plus (more importantly), blurbs have to focus on concept and setting. Even if it's well written, if I see that vampires, werewolves, zombies, magic (especially magic mixed with technology), teenagers saving the world, or any a number of cliches I'm not interested in pursuing further...I'll skip it. There might be exceptions, of course (if the right kind of humor shines through, I might give it a chance, for example).

But extremely few first sentences alone will get me hitting that old Buy It button.

[[deleted user]]

Micah wrote: "Well, I look at blurbs because a well written blurb is hard to do. If you can do that, then at least there's some hope!

Plus (more importantly), blurbs have to focus on concept and setting. Even i..."

I don't take much stock in blurbs. I've read a lot of blurbs from books that I have read that do not match the content. Usually I go by another person's synopsis. But then again, I don't read fiction that is...new. So my opinion is worthless. For non-fiction I inspect the author and make sure he/she is not a crank, and see if the subject intrigues me.

[Owen]

Micah wrote: "Well, I look at blurbs because a well written blurb is hard to do. If you can do that, then at least there's some hope!..."

I mainly pay attention to blurbs to see if they are sloppily done or not: typos and the like. I haven't noted that the ability to write a good blurb strongly correlates to the ability to write a good story.

But then, I don't browse for books to read. I find them thru some sort of referral. So the cover and blurb (unless it points to obvious problems) don't mean much to me. Then it's whether the writing stands out or not.

[Ramon]

Owen wrote: "I mainly pay attention to blurbs to see if they are sloppily done or not: typos and the like. ..."

Actually I feel that the blurb is probably more likely to attract the reader than a first sentence. Typically readers scan the blurb, and only then they might have a look into the book, and read the first sentence.

Moreover, I also suspect that the whole first paragraph might be as important as the first sentence. One single sentence might attract the attention, but that might not be sufficient to convert to a sale.

However, here are a few of my first sentences:

“Our job is to be in strange orbits,” laughs my father. - "The lost girl".

I’m staring at the galactic map, still horrified about what I have just discovered. - "First contact".

Even though it is fifteen thousand light-years from home, the bar is surprisingly familiar, very similar to the photos that grandpa showed me of the one he had on Earth, before emigrating to Mars. - "The Krogan's nest".

However, not all my books start with a hook - my romantic books actually start with a description of the surroundings, to set up the scene. It's not a long description (because I don't want to scare the reader off), just one short paragraph. These are the starting sentences of two of my romantic books (unfortunately, not yet translated into English):

The Retiro park is one of the most famous parks in Madrid. - "Sofía y el Ángel Caído" (Sofia and the Fallen Angel).

"Paradise" is the most used word by the population of Seychelles to describe their archipelago. - "Lorraine y el lord impotente" (Lorraine and the Impotent Lord).

[Owen]

Ramon wrote: "Owen wrote: "I mainly pay attention to blurbs to see if they are sloppily done or not: typos and the like. ..."

Actually I feel that the blurb is probably more likely to attract the reader than a ..."

You are very likely correct. Mine is an idiosyncratic personal opinion. I intensely dislike blurbs -- writing them and often reading them. Much of the time I feel the blurb is an attempt to manipulate me. But then I often think marketing is the same thing. I sometimes will not buy a product simply because it was advertised. And then I spiral down into absurdity.

The consensus is that blurbs serve a purpose, so I grit my teeth and write blurbs. The cussing and histrionics that ensue amuses my co-author. (Not a bad thing.) I tend to equate the practice with wearing ties to meetings with people from the East Coast (back in the 90s.) It served no real purpose, except that it was expected and if you didn't, someone would give you a earful. I feel about ties the same way I feel about blurbs -- only more so. Then, one year, I decided I wasn't going to wear ties to meetings anymore. Maybe I'll do the same thing with blurbs at some point.

[Ramon]

Owen wrote: " I intensely dislike blurbs -- writing them and often reading them. ..."

Well, I'm not a fan of blurbs either, and it does cost me a lot of effort to write them. However, there is something good about blurbs: A well-written blurb that does not directly promote the book but rather raises your interest sufficient to "have a look inside" is a good hook for potential readers. A blurb that is badly written, contains typos, etc, like you stated, indicates that the book is probably not worth even looking into it.

[Micah]

Sarah wrote: "I've read a lot of blurbs from books that I have read that do not match the content..."

Too true, though most of the ones I've read like that were on traditionally published books and were obviously written by someone who had not actually read the book. I suspect that in those cases the author has given the editor/publisher a detailed summary of the book, which is then shortened by someone else and then given to a blurb writer, who then interprets the synopsis which has been interpreted by someone else...Kind of like the game where you whisper a sentence to someone, who whispers it to someone else, and so on. In the end the result is nothing like the original input.

So when reading them, I tend to only look for things like "what's the major conflict" and "what kind of setting are we talking about?"

Like I said above, the blurb won't sell me a book, it will just get me looking at the sample chapters.