Please critisize me!

[Emma]

Hi - I'm an author, and I'd like anyone who wants to to read some of my writing. Please comment on that page and like if you like it!

https://www.goodreads.com/story/list/...

Thanks!

[Hiba]

I'd love to help out but which work of yours would you really like to have criticized?

[Emma]

Whichever you'd like.

I think that "Journal of Lorenzo de' Medici" is the best, though.

[J.J.]

I REFUSE. I THINK YOU ARE A WONDERFUL PERSON AND YOU'RE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT.

[Emma]

Ok then! (you have no idea how hard I'm laughing now)

[J.J.]

Emma wrote: "Ok then! (you have no idea how hard I'm laughing now)"

That's ok. I laugh at me all the time. :)

[Emma]

J.J. wrote: "Emma wrote: "Ok then! (you have no idea how hard I'm laughing now)"

That's ok. I laugh at me all the time. :)"

I laugh at myself a lot. It's usually when I make a joke at 6 in the morning (when I get up for school) and realize how stupid it is.

[Stan]

Your technique is good and very readable. Check out the following sentence and the suggestion.

"I also intended on asking Maestro Verrocchio on helping me plan for a new festival for the Florentines."

I also intended to ask Maestro Verrocchio to help me plan for a new festival for the Florentines.

[Emma]

Thank you!!