2025 Reading Challenge discussion
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Quiet
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Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain
I am not participating, but I had to pop in. I read this last year and loved it. I hope you all do too. It helped me to better understand my introvert nature.
I finished this book up in late January, but I'm really interested in what others have to say about it. I was least interested in the chapters on interaction between introverts and extroverts and what parents of introverted children can do to nurture their kids. Other than those two chapters, I was highly engaged throughout the book, learning about others and myself (an introvert who finds it easy to fake extroversion when necessary). (view spoiler)
When I read this book last year I also loved it. It really helped me understand myself (I'm an extrovert who also is introvertish), my husband (who is very definitely an introvert), my daughter (who is also an introvert - she is her father's daughter after all. lol) and my son (who is so much of an extrovert that he annoys even me!!).
Good timing! I requested it from the library and it came in today. The bad side is, I am already reading 3 books right now. I have all my library books coming in at the same time. I am a little overwhelmed right now with library books, but I don't want to let them go because it took a while to get them in the first place.
Jodi wrote: "Good timing! I requested it from the library and it came in today. The bad side is, I am already reading 3 books right now. I have all my library books coming in at the same time. I am a little ove..."I know the feeling Jodi. I've had just that same experience this afternoon. lol
I have never done a Buddy Group before so I hope that I an not doing it "wrong". I want to talk about peer pressure to become an extrovert as described in the book.(view spoiler)
Hi Cosmic,I think you have 'hit the nail on the head' with your comments. I think you point to two important things: 1) mob mentality and, 2) people being drawn into something dangerous/unhealthy because what they see offers them some hope in an otherwise hopeless situation. The drawback of this is that by the time they realise they've been sold a lemon the chance for them to leave has either been and gone or very difficult to achieve without serious consequences.
Great insights Cosmic.
I'm looking forward to starting this book and will likely get to it within a couple of weeks. I'm an introvert disguised as an extrovert during work hours.
Oh good Kara, I won't start right away either. I have to finish Ghost Map first.
I'm participating!If I remember right, Meyers Briggs scores on a 30-point scale. I'm a 29 on the extravert dating a man similarly ranked on the introvert scale :-) This book was recommended both by a woman in a mentor group at work who - as an introvert - found it very affirming and by my boyfriend's best friend. Haven't started yet, but it's in hand and hope to have dug in by next
weekend!
Welcome AJ. I hope you enjoy it and find it affirming too.
Very much enjoying this book so far. Have always thought that too much emphasis is placed on being able to "work as part of a team". Have always preferred to work on my own!
Glad to hear that some others aren't starting it just yet either. I'll get to it eventually!Kara, I'm also an introvert who can masquerade as an extrovert for work or other times that call for it.
AJ, on the Meyers-Briggs tests, I always score right in the middle. Some days I take it, I get just barely introverted, and other times, just barely extroverted. All depends on my mood, I guess.
I see I'm in the minority here. I didn't like the book that much. It had a nice premise, yes, but it wasn't eye-opening. Some of the things Susan Cain said made me go "Thanks for stating the obvious." Overall I just found it to be really stereotypical and depressing. Also, the writing was stale and long-winded at times. I prefer The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron.
Lilac wrote: "I see I'm in the minority here. I didn't like the book that much. It had a nice premise, yes, but it wasn't eye-opening. Some of the things Susan Cain said made me go "Thanks for stating the obviou..."Lilac, I am going to read The Highly Sensitive Person in March. My friend is reading it now and said I would really relate to it.
I still haven't started The Quiet. I am a real introvert, which is funny because I am a teacher and talking and communicating with people is such a big part of my job.
Chapter one down! First question, do we really need to mark spoilers? It doesn't seem relevant for a non-fiction, non-history, non-linear book, which is to say-I'm not sure I could identify one as one. So just feel free to call me out if I should be marking them.Thoughts so far: It makes perfect sense, but this book was written for introverts. There was a reference to the reader as an introvert I actually found somewhat off-putting. Also, I'm not sure I'm going to love it. Halfway through the first chapter I was bored and skipped ahead to another chapter I thought might be interesting. (I went back the next night.) As someone who reads quickly, that's very unusual for me. I am enjoying the reflection on society changing from a culture of character to a culture of personality-especially the historical tidbits.
There are definitely interesting factoids that I find surprising and useful to the discussion: one in five have social anxiety disorder?!
On the other hand, I have trouble with the concept presented ancient migrations required extraversion. Especially as presented here with no significant explanation. I would buy it if there had been more exposition, e.g., to successfully migrate groups had to work together. But it's not like they left to go meet more people.
One thing I find ironic-there's a discussion about the Dale Carnegie system and how it is emblematic of the rise of extraversion as the ideal. The previously mentioned introvert boyfriend read this book at the suggestion of a fellow introvert and is now reading How to Make People Like You! (Leaving aside any built in irony that this book's popularity seems to be due in large part to word of mouth).
I started last night but I didn't even finish chapter one. I was so tired! I am going to try to read some more tonight but don't think I will get much done. After work I went shopping, came home and made a cake (I hope it turns out) and then made a back up dessert just in case my cake doesn't work. Now I have to pack and get ready for a trip to the Island. Spending the family day long weekend with my family. I am tired.
Finished this today. I found the book affirming but maybe a little repetitive. I did tend to skim over some sections talking about the corporate world, but read more closely the relevant parts.
AJ wrote: "Chapter one down! First question, do we really need to mark spoilers? It doesn't seem relevant for a non-fiction, non-history, non-linear book, which is to say-I'm not sure I could identify one as ..."I didn't even think of the irony of this book being popular due to word of mouth, and it made me laugh. It's so true! People can't stop talking about Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking :p
I put a hold on this book at the library and will join in the discussion when I get it. Every book I've wanted to read lately seems to be immensely popular with all copies being checked out.
Valerie wrote: "Finished this today. I found the book affirming but maybe a little repetitive. I did tend to skim over some sections talking about the corporate world, but read more closely the relevant parts."Valerie, that's interesting to me that you skipped over the sections about the corporate world. I found the least relevant sections for me were the ones about introverts getting along with extroverts and raising introverted children. I don't have or plan to have children, so that chapter was irrelevant. I've also never found it hard to get along with extroverts even though I'm an introvert. I was surprised this was a problem for people. To me, a slight introvert, the hardest thing is getting to know another introvert. I find it easy to get along with extroverts - they tend to do a lot of the work to kick off conversations and I can jump in where necessary.
I guess this book tried to have something for everyone, which meant that often it had sections that weren't relevant to many. Why were the sections on the corporate world irrelevant for you?
Jenn wrote: "Valerie wrote: "Finished this today. I found the book affirming but maybe a little repetitive. I did tend to skim over some sections talking about the corporate world, but read more closely the r..."Hi Jenn. I guess I skimmed the corporate sections because I am no longer in the work force. I come from a family of introverts, am married to one, and our children are also quite introverted so I am very used to dealing with them and didn't need advice in that regard. I agree with you that extroverts are somewhat easier to interact with, but sometimes they can be a bit full on. Overall I think I prefer the company of introverts.
And yes, I think the book had something for everyone, so I think it's reasonable to skim over some sections.
I just started reading Quiet today on the bus, and I'm about 50 pages in. So far I like the book, but I don't love it. I liked the part about the historical shift from a Culture of Character to a Culture of Personality, but I found the part about Tony Robbins' seminar tiring. Maybe that's a sign that I'm more of an introvert than I thought if I'm getting tired just hearing about a high-octane seminar? ;] Mostly, I just found it hokey. While I'm sure it's an accurate representation of his seminars, I found myself wondering why it was in this book. The Harvard Business School section, which I am reading now, is much more appealing - still the same ideals, but it it feels more like it's actually part of Earth... Tony Robbins is on a planet of his own, I think.
Cassandra wrote: "I just started reading Quiet today on the bus, and I'm about 50 pages in. So far I like the book, but I don't love it. I liked the part about the historical shift from a Culture of Character to a C..."Hi Cassandra, I thought the author's point in including the Tony Robbins seminar was to point out how society accepts skills associated with extroversion as life skills necessary to succeed. Tony Robbins was one example of someone teaching people to be more extroverted as though that is the key to success. I think her point is that although there are useful skills related to extroversion, American society often takes it too far, and Tony Robbins' popularity is an example of this.
I got the same idea from that part as what Jenn said. Not picking on extroverted people, but how we're all sucked into believing we HAVE to be like that to succeed.
I am just at the Tony Robbins part too. I am not loving it. I really find him irritating. He just seems so phoney. I did really enjoy the section on Harvard Business School.
I am just starting part 2. I must say I am reading slower than I normally do, I think because it is nonfiction. I am trying to read one nonfiction a month and see that I do read them slower. I did enjoy the business aspect of Part one. I see it I as being quite relevant to the classroom. In school it is frowned upon to have desks in rows, like they were when I went to school. Personally I do not like students sitting in groups because it encourages socialization during work time. Many students prefer to sit alone too. I give my students the choice. They can either sit with a group or they can have their desk in a row. Exactly half of my students chose to sit in a row because they can't concentrate while in a group.
I remember reading Tony Robbins book The Giant Within and thinking I wish I could talk like that. I really thought that he thought and talked like that. Now I see it more as a character that he put on and sells. He isn't the character except when he becomes this larger than life person on the stage. I think some people know who their character is and they get into character. Other people try to be authentic.
I thought it was interesting that after she writes about Tony she compares that with the mega church. Having grown up in that environment and watched it I noticed that that other people, to me started acting like this. I am thinking about George W Bush. He talked to people in his address like Pat Robertson. Ok so now these extroverts are maybe closet introverts that have just learned the art of adapting quicker or put themself on a stage where they could be more confident.
What do you think about this?
Maybe the extrovert is quick witted and has an advantage in the public game. But if he wasn't in the right environment maybe he would try to be invisible.
Jodi wrote: "I am just starting part 2. I must say I am reading slower than I normally do, I think because it is nonfiction. I am trying to read one nonfiction a month and see that I do read them slower. I di..."
I wonder if the children that can't concentrate in groups are the ones that would be seen as introverts?
Cosmic, I would say that a few of my students who choose to be alone are introverts but many of them are very social and highly distractible. They recognize that they get so distracted by those around them that they don't get any work done. It is always interesting to see who chooses to sit alone. I move the students every month or two and this time, I have had a few who originally chose to sit in a group ask to move by themselves after a few weeks. It really makes me think of the section in the book that talks about office space and how the offices are set up.
Cosmic wrote: "Jodi wrote: "I am just starting part 2. I must say I am reading slower than I normally do, I think because it is nonfiction. I am trying to read one nonfiction a month and see that I do read them s..."I wondered the same thing Cosmic
I got a copy of the book today and just started reading.Jodi wrote: "Cosmic, I would say that a few of my students who choose to be alone are introverts but many of them are very social and highly distractible. They recognize that they get so distracted by those aro..."
It is so interesting to hear your personal experiences from your job as a teacher and your comparison of work spaces in a business to work spaces in a classroom. Please share more insight about that if you think of anything more!
I think that probably unlike most who read this book, I am highly extroverted. As a child in school (and even now), I would ideally always want to study or do work in groups (I even had many 'study buddies' in law school - the author is a corporate lawyer, I wonder if she engaged in study groups in law school - it was very common.) However, I can recognize when my desire to study in a group is more just me craving social interaction over being highly efficient. When I need to do work that requires a really high degree of focus, I need to either be alone or (ideally) work alongside someone who can be disciplined and quiet. Otherwise I talk too much and get very little done!
Jodi wrote: "I am just starting part 2. I must say I am reading slower than I normally do, I think because it is nonfiction. I am trying to read one nonfiction a month and see that I do read them slower. I di..."
Jodi, I agree with you on the pace of reading fiction v nonfiction. I always read nonfiction more slowly. I think I slow down because I'm trying to learn and remember what I'm reading.
I also really like your approach to teaching! Your students are lucky to have you.
Thank you so much Jenn. That is so nice of you to say. I work with 6 and 7 year olds and they amaze me every day. They really are so intuitive and self-aware, even at that age. I have sensitive students who know they need to sit alone and don't feel the need or pressure to sit with their friends in groups and then some of the hyper, very social kids who recognize that they won't learn anything if they sit with their friends. Most of them make the right decision for themselves, although there are a few social bunnies who choose to sit in groups and often need reminders about noise level and focussing. I do find this book interesting and has me thinking about my class and how I interact with the different personality types. After this book my friend is loaning me her book called The Highly Sensitive Person, which this book references. My friend thinks I am a highly sensitive person. I didn't agree with her at the time but then I read the section in this book devoted to Elaine Aron's research and I realized that I am very sensitive to noise and am very uncomfortable around overstimulated environments.
Jodi, fascinating to hear how the rows versus groups breaks out in your classroom. not sure what I would have picked as a child despite being an extrovert. (Ms. Bouncy in 3d grade.) I do know unlike another commenter,I hated study groups in law school, but maybe that's my own awareness that I wouldn't have studied as you mention with your students.
I was in a discussion about
The Lord Of The Flies. I can really relate to Piggy. I don't know if Piggy would have naturally been an introvert except for the fact that he was an only child and raised by an aunt. I was an only child and very awkward but resilient enough to embarrass myself with -dumb- questions. I had a reading problem and survived school by asking questions and listening. Anyway back to
the thing that makes this book relevant to our study is that Piggy was right but because he wasn't dynamic he wasn't greatly considered.
Does anyone else have a "string" book that might be good to add to our discussion and possible recommended list?
How many chapters are in this book? I am super sad because my library ebook is expiring tomorrow and I am not going to be done. I am reading on my phone and don't know how many chapters or real page numbers I have left. I can't renew the book because there are holds on it. I am on chapter 10. How much more do I have to read. I will have to buy the book for a few chapters :(
My audible book has 13 chapters. It is unabridged. So you have 3 more chapters and I think they are about family relationships.
Shoot, I am on chapter 11, so I guess I have two chapters left. I will be buying the book for 2 chapters. If only I could have one more day with my library ebook.
Too bad you can't turn the wireless connection off.
Yay, I managed to finish before it got deleted from my phone. I almost went out after work today and bought it but I decided to start reading and see how far I could get instead. I actually had all night to finish but I was farther than I thought.I could really connect to this book in so many ways, personally and professionally. I am a person who is very comfortable alone. I enjoy my own company and almost never get bored. I don't understand the people who are always on the go or feel like they have to be doing something. I don't understand where their energy comes from. In my job I have to be "on" all the time. I can't turn my ringer off or hide out when I need some time. I guess professionally, I am good at bringing out my inner extrovert. I enjoy interacting with the kids and love getting to know their families. However, when I get home, I need that quiet down time.
When I look at the school system, it has transformed drastically from when I went to school. I don't know that all of the changes are a good thing. When I was in school, we sat in rows, we read the books, answered the questions and we didn't talk. Nowadays, there is such a push for sitting in groups and group discussion and project work.
I do feel like the pendulum has swung too far to the group mentality direction. There needs to be a balance between quiet independent work and group activities and discussion. I do think the introverts need to learn to work in a group environment and the extroverts need to learn to work quietly and independently. Both are such valuable skills and equally important. I wish that both corporations and schools would give the introverts more of a chance to thrive in an environment that is supportive and respectful of their needs.
I don't know if any of my comments make sense to the book or if they are completely off topic but those were some thoughts I had.
Jodi wrote: "Yay, I managed to finish before it got deleted from my phone. I almost went out after work today and bought it but I decided to start reading and see how far I could get instead. I actually had all..."I'm glad you got to finish the book Jodi. I agree with you about the pendulum swinging too far to the group mentality direction. I wonder if this is the reason a lot of kids/teenagers seem unable to engage in solitary activities. There also seems to be social pressure to behave in an extroverted way on social media, which is a big concern of mine. Teenagers seem to feel that they need to act extroverted for fear of social rejection.
Yay Jodi. I'm glad you got to finish the book.I too agree with you about the pendulum thing. I have seen this happen in so many things that the pendulum will swing one way for awhile and then way back the other way before it comes back before it settles in the middle.
I thought it might be nice to give you a link to a Ted talk with the author.http://www.ted.com/talks/susan_cain_t...
Glad you were able to finish the book, Jodi, and thanks for sharing your insights with us. I completely agree that there is too much group work in school today. Some activities work well with groups, but some are more conducive to individual study, and I wish that was taken into account more often. Balance is the most important thing. I do wonder how much of the group work phenomenon is due to class sizes and teacher energy rather than the Extrovert Ideal.I just finished Quiet today, and I was amazed at how well I could connect with it. Sometimes as a pseudo-extrovert, I forget how much of an introvert I really am.
One of the biggest things I struggled with as a teenager was not having the "high school experience" that everyone speaks of so highly. When I follow my inner compass, I have always been very happy and satisfied with my life. I am a positive and optimistic person. When I compared what I had with what you're "supposed" to have, though, that's where I ran into trouble. I don't have nearly the problem with it in college that I do in high school... Things get less structured as you get older, and that makes it easy to do whatever suits you personally.
One thing I really agreed with toward the end of the book was about how people who are viewed as shy or awkward tend to "blossom" as they get older and how that might not be so much related to their behavior or development, and more because of the change in environment.
Finally back to Quiet after finishing Wolf Hall for my work book club. I really enjoyed the chapter on innovation. I'm left wondering if it's really true that extroverts can't get anything done? (jk) I also imagine that there are examples of extrovert inventors/innovators. But I'm totally on board with the idea that you need quiet to think. A big piece of why teleworking has become so popular I think.
AJ wrote: "Finally back to Quiet after finishing Wolf Hall for my work book club. I really enjoyed the chapter on innovation. I'm left wondering if it's really true that extroverts can't get anything done? (j..."Yes, when I worked from home I found that I was more productive in both my professional and personal life. Now when I get home from work, I'm usually too exhausted to tackle chores around the house. In the office, you have to be "on" all day.
2025 Reading Challenge
Books mentioned in this topic
Propaganda (other topics)Lord of the Flies (other topics)
The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You (other topics)
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking (other topics)
The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You (other topics)
More...
***Please remember to mark spoilers.***
Participants: (so far)
Kara, Jodi, Cassandra, Cosmic, Valerie, Sajid, Zara, AJ, Brian