[F2F Book Discussions] February 2014: What We Talk About When We Talk About Love: Stories by Raymond Carver [Genre: Short Stories] | Moderator: Monique

[Ranee]

Angus: isa kang dakila if you can forgive and at the same time forget.
Agree ako with Maria, even if I try, I cannot forget but I learn to forgive.

[Monique]

Buddy, Cousin, Sis: Noted ang WWTAWWTA-Forgiveness. :D

MELIZA: Hmmm. May iba ka yatang naiisip? "Body language" ha, paktay tayo dyan. :P

RANEE: Love is positivity! I agree. Para bang, with love, anything is possible? :D

MOMMY LOUIZE!!! Ano ibig sabihin nun? Paki-explain, haha!

[Bennard]

Mae: Incidentally, my favorite kind of pizza. :p

[Maria]

Ranee, apir din tayo. :)

[Angus]

Ranee wrote: "Angus: isa kang dakila if you can forgive and at the same time forget. "

Exactly my point! It is so hard that only the superduperultimate kind of love can achieve that.

[Meliza]

Monique: I was thinking about facial expressions, gestures and body postures. Hahaha! Actually, I was thinking about Quality Time, I don't know why I wrote "body".

[Alexa]

(1) Finish the sentence: When I hear the word "love," I think about (view spoiler)[acceptance and compromise. Not everyone's perfect, but for me, if you love someone, there is acceptance, flaws and all. And of course, relationships of all kinds are never easy. They always take work. And I guess if you truly love another, you are willing to set aside your pride and compromise for the sake of your relationship. Pero ayun, just my two cents :) (hide spoiler)]

(2) What is your love language? (view spoiler)[As expected, my primary love language is really quality time (view spoiler)[This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention. (hide spoiler)]. I feel particularly bonded to a person if we spend time together and I don't feel awkward around them anymore (because I am crap at small talk and I always panic at the prospect of having to do something with a person I'm not close to). I went to Payatas a few days ago and my only companion on the way was my thesis mate (who I wasn't that close to beyond spazzing about Doctor Who). I was scared at first because I never know what to say outside of fangirling about something, but it went better than I thought. Yay bonding :)) Anyway. ANG DALDAL KO HAHA DI PA AKO TAPOS

What was surprising was my secondary love language. I thought it would be physical touch because I always hug or poke people I'm comfortable with, or at least receiving gifts because I always have zero expectations for anything. Apparently mine's acts of service (view spoiler)[According to the website: For these people, actions speak louder than words. (hide spoiler)]. It makes sense, thinking about it, because I always appreciate the effort a person makes even though all I see is the end result. I always think about how they did it, which is how I appreciate something they do even more, no matter how small. I get really touched since I hardly deserve it and that is always what sticks to me.

My scores:
4Words of Affirmation
12Quality Time
3Receiving Gifts
7Acts of Service
4Physical Touch (hide spoiler)]

[Monique]

We shall talk about love = forgiveness+forgetting sa F2F. Hihi. :D

ALEXA: I thought your primary love language is physical touch! But yay, quality time. :)

This really IS proof why we're all so clingy, LOL. :)

[Monique]

So I was looking for interesting infographics on love, relationships and dating in general, and I came across this:



And this:


Just click on the images to embiggen them. :)

Go through the infographics and see if you can classify yourself anywhere. Any reactions, violent or otherwise? Thoughts? Do share, please. :D

[Tina]

The word "unicorn" will never be the same to me. :)) :(( (Can't decide how I feel about that haha)

[Monique]

Tina wrote: "The word "unicorn" will never be the same to me. :)) :(( (Can't decide how I feel about that haha)"

Haha I saw that! I didn't even know that there are people who actually do that? XD

[Tina]

Cousin: if you can't beat them, join them? Kaloka :))

[Monique]

COUSIN: Or, if I can't have you individually, can I just have you both? XD

[Tina]

Haha pwede rin. XD (view spoiler)[Isang malaking kalokohan. (view spoiler)[Ay may galit? Hahahaha. :)) (hide spoiler)] (hide spoiler)]

[Mae]

Sharing is caring daw kasi. :P But HAHA, unicorn talaga yung term? Nuuuuuu. XD

[Monique]

I was laughing out loud at some. One is the "no romance and sex only on birthdays." Oh the poor soul. :))

[Cary]

nastress ako sa first picture. bakit mas maraming circles ang non-monogamy? As expected, I'm on the side of celibacy for spiritual reasons. (view spoiler)[ I'm still not giving up on my dream to become a pastor's wife someday but I'm also open to the possibility of single-blessedness for life, lol. (hide spoiler)]

[Monique]

CARY, tingnan mo yung maraming circles sa kanan. Cycle lang sya ng marriage-divorce-marriage-divorce-ad infinitum. Pag mas maraming circles for celibacy, nakupo. Tsaka marami raw kasing possible scenarios sa non-monogamy. :)) Wow, gusto mo palang maging pastor's wife! Parang si Rica Peralejo lang? Maghanap tayo ng katulad ni Pastor Bonifacio! :D

[Mae]

Monique: It's funny how they described co-dependency. At least may birthday pampalubag. :))

And since I was wondering about the unicorn term, I did a bit of google-ing and found out that it's because (view spoiler)[apparently, a bisexual woman (or man, but usually a woman) who would be interested in dating a couple is as rare as a mythical creature. The couples in the relationship are called "unicorn hunters". (hide spoiler)]

There's your unsolicited trivia of the day. :))

[Monique]

MAE, ayun. Hindi lang pala nila hinugot yun from nowhere. Haha. Mukhang appropriate nga yung term. Sorry for the bad news, cousin. :((

[Tina]

Ahhh now that makes sense. Akala ko that's how unicorns would mate, sakaling totoo sila. :))

[Aaron Vincent]

1) Finish the sentence: When I hear the word "love," I think about (view spoiler)[a form of socially acceptable insanity.(view spoiler)[TADA! haha (hide spoiler)] For real now, unwavering acceptance. Because...

“Anyone can love a thing because. That's as easy as putting a penny in your pocket.
But to love something despite. To know the flaws and love them too. That is rare and pure and perfect.” - Patrick Rothfuss, Wise Man's Fear

“You don’t love because: you love despite; not for the virtues, but despite the faults.” -William Faulkner

Yes, I'm just quoting. It's a form of socially acceptable cheating and playing it safe. (hide spoiler)]


2) What is your love language?

(view spoiler)[
10 Quality Time
7 Acts of Service
5 Words of Affirmation
5 Physical Touch
3 Receiving Gifts

I guess it's true. I think all the other languages have time as their root, though. You dedicate time to do acts of service or to buy (or make) gifts. Words of affirmation and physical touch is a shared time. So just give me time and I will love you long time. Hahaha
(hide spoiler)]

[Cary]

Monique, sabagay nakaka-stress nga yung sa kanan, being tied/married to a wrong person will not lead to long-term happiness. hay.

[Monique]

Heee, COUSIN AARON. <3 Wala lang. Akala ko hindi ka sasagot eh. :D "So just give me time and I will love you long time." Yih. Kinilig ako. :))

[Aaron Vincent]

I am still on a Her hangover so I think I'm just in that headspace to answer. Hehe. That was just tumblr-quoting, "love me long time". :p

[Tina]

Aaron: yown. Yiiii :D The quotes you shared remind me of the musical "I Love You Because". :)

[Mae]

Tina: wrote: What do you mean "sakaling totoo sila" - OF COURSE THEY'RE REAL. They poop rainbows and everything. Hihi. :D

Aaron: Amen to unwavering acceptance. Also to socially accepted insanity. (view spoiler)[Amy, is that you? :)) (hide spoiler)]

I claim the circle for involuntary celibacy for physical or emotional reasons. Hehehe. Hehe. Heh. *walks out* Just kidding. :P I think I'll probably end up in some kind of Will & Grace situation. Does that fall under intimate friendship - no "touching"? :))

[Maria]

Aaron: please please bring Name of the Wind book next time :) I want to borrow!

[Maria Ella]

I don't want to be part of that serial monogamy. Nakakapagod sa puso. -_______-

[Maria]

Mae: I have a new middle name, then. UNICORN! Nyehehehe

[Maria]

Sis: parang mas gusto ko ung mga categories sa Non-Monogamy bubbles. Very interesting! Ang boring lang nung sa Monogamy side, eh. Bakit ba andun ako. Hahaha

[Lynai]

I think I belong to MONOGAMY --> EXCLUSIVE --> CO-DEPENDENT --> EMPTY: One partner for bitter life. (view spoiler)[JOKE! (hide spoiler)]

And now I know what the hullabaloo on unicorns is all about hahaha!

[Louize]

Natawa ako doon sa chute and ladders... vacation may lead to engagement. And darn...there's STD!

Monique, having physical touch as love language can also mean that we may manifest our frustrations physically. We resort to physical activities, like get drunk, jog, or simply take long walks. It doesn't necessarily mean we pound people to bits, but that can happen too if aggravated. hahahaha

[Louize]

Monique wrote: "I was laughing out loud at some. One is the "no romance and sex only on birthdays." Oh the poor soul. :))"

Poor souls indeed! :(

[Angus]

Buddy: Bakit hindi ko maclassify sarili ko? It's either there's something missing in the infographics or there's something weird with me joke.

Aaron: Nabugahan ko ng kape ang screen ko after clicking your spoiler tag!

Being a unicorn has no regard to the gender of the unicorn hunters? Like you can still be a unicorn even if the hunters are of the same sex?

[Louize]

Angus wrote: "Being a unicorn has no regard to the gender of the unicorn hunters? Like you can still be a unicorn even if the hunters are of the same sex? "

Yes.
Let us keep note of the term: variety.

[Monique]

BUDDY: You mean hindi ka unicorn?? Haha! Kidding. There's something wrong with the infographic, then. :))
And re: Aaron's spoiler-tag-enclosed answers - di baaaa?? Chumi-cheesy-kilig si Aaron. Hihi! :D

SIS: Magtigil ka dyan, unicorn pala ha? Sumbong kita! Hahaha!

MAE: I don't think I'd mind if I were put in a Will & Grace situation. (view spoiler)[My favorite comedy series, ever. :D (hide spoiler)] I guess you'd fall under that category na nga. :))

ELLA: If you stop at one marriage, I don't think being under "Serial Monogamy" is tiring at all. ;)

[Mae]

Maria: Umu-unicorn ka pala ha. Unicorn talaga gusto mo, ayaw mo maging unicorn hunter? :))

Mommy L: Siguro nga. I take long walks when I'm frustrated.

Angus: From what I gathered, unicorns are usually bisexual (or pansexual, basta hindi sila choosy :P) so I guess it wouldn't matter if the unicorn hunters are of the same sex?

Magdagdag na lang kaya tayo ng circle: Undefined - floating in space. :P

Monique: I used to catch it on tv all the time and I loved it but sadly, I never got to watch the entire thing. (view spoiler)[Must hunt down a boxed set. Hihi. (hide spoiler)] Pero diba, I think I'd be good with that kung wala talaga. Haha.

[Maria]

Mae: nope. Unicorn lang tlg, hnd Unicorn hunter. Ako lang! Lol

I love Will & Grace. When Grace got married, and... Spoilers! Kakaiyak when she went to Will for comfort. :(

[Tina]

Mae: re: dagdag na circle: Heh. Hehehehe. Heh. XD

Also, oops, I'm sorry! Unicorns are real! I'm so sorry my dear unicorns!

And o sige fine, ilalagay ko na sarili ko sa circles na yan. I'd like to believe I am in the voluntary for positive and personal reasons (view spoiler)[right now (kelangan may qualifier talaga haha) (hide spoiler)]. :D

Ninang: oh, now that you mentioned that...I guess if your primary love language is quality time, you vent out your frustrations by spending time with people who love you? Tama ba pagkaintindi ko? And oh, kaya rin siguro yung friends ko na receiving gifts ang primary love language nila ay nanlilibre pag may galit. Hmm. :)

[Gwaxa]

Ang lungkot naman nung Wedding Planning then Acquaintance ang bagsak. Heartbreaaaaakkkk. :'(

Involuntary celibacy for kemerut reasons ako. Lol.
The reasons are too vague to contemplate.

[Meliza]

Gwaxa: Naks, involuntary celibacy.

Maganda yung Friendship to Exclusive. Hahaha. Makacomment lang.

[Gwaxa]

Ayyy nako.... Balik tayo sa unicorn na topic. :p

[Louize]

Tina wrote: "Ninang: oh, now that you mentioned that...I guess if your primary love language is quality time, you vent out your frustrations by spending time with people who love you? Tama ba pagkaintindi ko? And oh, kaya rin siguro yung friends ko na receiving gifts ang primary love language nila ay nanlilibre pag may galit. Hmm. :) "

My observation on other equations is inconclusive. LOL
Wala akong specimens for experimentation other than myself. Kung merong gusto mag-volunteer for study. Send me a PM. hahaha

[Ranee]

grabe, unicorns! meron bang subcategory for mermaids? (view spoiler)[ sumisisid lang ang peg? (hide spoiler)]

Mae, favorite ko din ang Will & Grace at suuuper pangarap ko ang magkaroon ng Will sa buhay ko.

Atty Monique, iyan ba ang boardgame natin sa F2F?

Aaron, I want to see "Her" too. sana meron pa pagbalik ko ng Manila

[Tricia]

Meliza, naks, Friendship to Exclusive. Dyan nagsisimula 'yan. #AlamNa. Chos.

Anyway, I think I belong to: (view spoiler)[Monogamy > Exclusive > Serial Monogamy (view spoiler)[(syempre you have to find/meet someone, di ba? Pero hindi naman ganung kadalas to have another relationship after the other if you can help it and hindi sa marriage level, sa dating level lang) (hide spoiler)] > One Partner for Life (if you found the One!) (hide spoiler)]

(view spoiler)[Ahh, love month, you're killing me. I have to keep in mind na mas masaya maging single HAHA (hide spoiler)]

[Tina]

Meliza, Tricia: eh pano kung Friendship to Exclusive...pero (view spoiler)[Exclusive Friendship? Hanggang dun lang? /wrist (hide spoiler)] XD

Ranee: Bakit iba naisip ko nung sinabi mo sa mermaid? (No, my mind is not in the gutter, disclaimer lang) Hahaha. Btw, March 12 ata papalabas yung Her sa Manila, nakita ko sa clickthecity. :)

[Gwaxa]

Tina: Friendzoned na yan. /wrist nga. Lol

[Tricia]

Tina: Kulang yung sentence ni Meliza. (view spoiler)[ Friendship to Exclusive dating pala dapat? (view spoiler)[ Exclusive Friendship... so friendzoned... *cries in the corner* /wrist lol K. HAHA (view spoiler)[ magmove-on nalang, manood ng Tales from the Friend Zone sa Youtube, and stay away from those d-bag jerks lol (view spoiler)[ Disclaimer: walang galit ang last sentence lol (hide spoiler)] (hide spoiler)] (hide spoiler)] (hide spoiler)]

[Ranee]

Yung Exclusive friendship, yan ba ang friend zone?

Tina, at ano kaya naisip mo?


Tricia, may GNO naman tayo eh, we are polygamous asexual beings.