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message 51:
by
Joel
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Apr 01, 2015 05:43AM
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Or maybe it was listening to the (eponymously named?) rock band, Train. That "Soul Sister" song chugs along nicely.
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OK, rail's been fixed! Locally Funny? OK, here's a locally funny celebrity- BUM FARTO- Key West's legendary Fire Chief/Crook.
The back story
Any sordid little characters in your area?
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CartoonistAndre wrote: "Any sordid little characters in your area?"Did you forget I'm in Jersey? Just about everyone is a sordid little character here!
Though I miss living among the nutcases in FL. We're heading down for spring break this year. Will be in Naples for a couple of days then taking a ferry down to Key West for a week. I shall report on anything fun I find, which won't be difficult.
I always liked NJ for that reason. I think I've met at least a half dozen characters from up there, that admit to it.
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And the crazy thing is, I don't even know what exit I'm "at." Nor do I know how to "maneuver a circle," as a true Jerseyan can do. I've been here for 10 years and I'm still not acting like a local, which I think might mean I'm sane.
I remember Rte 17 in northern NJ as being the worst to navigate (that was in the naughty nineties, however). If you were looking for an exit with an overpass that would get you on the other side of 17, you were in for an Homeric odyssey. I also remember many folks going around in circles, now that you mention it. There were a couple of exits where you were directed, for several blocks, and in a round about way, back to 17. The state still gets my vote for best tomatoes in the US of A.
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My favorite NJ traffic story: I used to drive through NJ regularly for work, so I listened to a lot of the New York radio stations. On one morning show, the helicopter traffic reporter was asked to report on the entrance to the Lincoln Tunnel. His reply: "It's backed up like a toilet down there."
I guess we now know his opinion of commuters.
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Talk of going around in circles: have any of you been to Portland, OR? If you are coming south on I5 through Portland, you might be tempted to stay in the left lanes, so as not to get stuck in the exits or whatever. If you do...you will soon find yourself going north through Portland. After you cross back over the Willamette River, you can exit back to southbound 5 and try again.
I don't think we've done that more than twice.
CartoonistAndre wrote: "The state still gets my vote for best tomatoes in the US of A. "Agreed, Colorado comes in second
Rebecca wrote: "That's pretty funny, Jay!Talk of going around in circles: have any of you been to Portland, OR? If you are coming south on I5 through Portland, you might be tempted to stay in the left lanes, so ..."
These things do happen on the west coast, but they always provide a way to turn around and correct your error. If you get off the wrong exit on the east coast, you may find yourself a number of states away before you can change to the proper direction.
Right On Rodney! The west coast had time to look east before attempting clover leafs and other construction-cluster-f*cks renowned on this coast.
Back when I told a friend I was moving to Jersey, She told me to be careful because it's against the law to turn left in New Jersey. I had no idea what she meant, but there is something to it. You cannot legally turn left in this state on many roads. You either "do a jug handle" or "maneuver a circle." Either way, you waste a bunch of time and gas. There's a road near me where I clocked how far out of my way I had to drive to go left: .76 miles! Oh, and 3 stop lights. Go figure.
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Enter the automobile and the road engineers were completely baffled for a good bit. All they could use to lay out the roads was horse sense -- not always the best choice.
Rebecca - The stretch limo ban was lifted when the politicians figured out they can now force you to buy license plates in two states.
Lisa wrote: "There's a road near me where I clocked how far out of my way I had to drive to go left: .76 miles! Oh, and 3 stop lights. Go figure. "I did just that, Lisa. And came up with a great idea. How about just making three rights next time?
I'm gonna have to figure out a way to screen shot a map of the area and paste it into here. If you did three rights there, you will be forced onto an off-ramp heading in the original direction you were going.
I'm gonna have to figure out a way to screen shot a map of the area and paste it into here. If you did three rights there, you will be forced onto an off-ramp heading in the original direction you were going.
Well, it should have worked but that's New Jersey for you!
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Different animals in Cleveland.
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