Ruby's writing!

[Ruby]

Bits and pieces of my writing. All info is greatly appreciated. Enjoy!!!

[Ruby]

“She's not going anywhere, neither am I, I told you, I told the stupid Academy. I said we weren't coming, I promised it” Aaron says
“You Knew about this?” I ask incredulous
“Yes.”
“Why didn't you tell me?” I feel betrayed
“I thought it would keep you safe, I-I thought if I kept it secret-”
“It wasn't just your secret!” I point out...loudly “It was about me to and you had no right-!”

“Shut up!” he yells back and I stare stunned, this is not the first time he’s told me to shut up, I can be rather annoying, but the ferocity and wildness...thats new
“None of this is my fault, this is all your fault and I was trying to spare you the blame. Your what caused us to be freaks! “he's practically steaming .
Im stunned. I can feel snow soaking into my socks and freezing my hands but I make no move to prevent it.
“You and your abnormalities, you just had to be a twin.” he sounds half sad half angry now as if id accidentally broken his favorite toy. I can sense the man waiting, either bored or amused.

“I love you Aurora, even if you did this to me you’re still my sister, and I promised we wouldn't go”

”And I never break my promises” he says a strange gleam in his green eyes, green like jade. They sparkle with a certain glow that makes me want to shield my eyes. He turns to the man.
Apparently the man sees it to because he chuckles “You cant really-” he scoffs but is cut of mid-sentence when Aaron lunges at him. A flash of gold flashes in his hand and a golden pocket knife emerges, glittering in the weak sunshine.
The man yells and kicks out at him, but misses. Sort off. He catches me in the side sending me sprawling ten feet away from them. I gasp and scramble to my feet, Only to fall again because of a piercing horrible shrieking noise that when I turn, see is coming from the man in black. He holds a whistle between his teeth and Aaron is crouched on the ground hands over his ears. Even as I watch about six men appear as if from no-where. They grab Aaron and I hear yells as Aaron tries to fight back but there are to many of them. They grab him and shove a gag in his mouth which he spits out. He has a cut at the base of his neck. Pouring blood.
Oh God. What the heck is happening.

He thrashes and my heart jumps as he lifts his head and screams

“Run!” His voice cracks in desperation “Rory Run!”

I scramble back on my hands, transfixed by the horror scene in front of me. Two of the men hold by brother while another hits him. Every blow to his body feels like one in mine and I choke on my tears, that are now streaming down my face. I melt in to the shadows unable to move forward and stare horrified as my brother raises his head and looks straight at me. HIs mouth is bloody and the bruise on his cheek is swelling.

“Go!” he screams eyes bulging “Go Now!”
“Get the girl!” the Man screams at the same time. But its too late the soldiers turn to slowly and Im of like a bullet.
I run like Iv’e never run before. Far. Down streets Ive never even seen before until finally coming to rest on a brick wall. I burry my face in my hands. So cold I cant move and sob into my hands. Whats going on? Why? Whats the Academy and why did the man say we were powerful. I remember what Aaron said
“I love you even if you did this to me“

[Alice]

Wow, very action packed and a cool premise! I want to know more about the Academy and the history behind the characters. It seems like you have some awesome ideas!

I would also like to add that if this is the beginning, I feel like you should provide the reader with more background information before things get too heated up... I was lost in the first few paragraphs because I had no idea where the characters were, what the Academy was, what the relationship between the characters were, etc. I noticed in your first post you said you're posting "bits and pieces" of your writing, so I was wondering if this is the beginning of your story or an excerpt taken from an action scene...

Either way, I would love to read some more of your writing! From what I can see you're doing an awesome job :D

[[deleted user]]

Great, except there's a few spelling mistakes:)