Here it is-- the survey you've been asking for!

[Tom]

Ok, so only three of you asked for it, and you only asked for it once, and it's not exactly what you asked for. Here it is anyway! The lurker survey! For the purposes of this survey, lets define a lurker as follows: A lurker is someone who has not averaged at least 2 posts per month since they joined and has fewer than, say, 25 posts overall in THC and has not posted or voted in a poll in the last month, or is someone you feel justified in calling a lurker but don't feel like checking out the above 3 criteria.

1) If you could give any lurker the boot from THC, who would it be and why?

B) What is the most absurd thing you've seen in a lurker's profile?

III) Is there a lurker who deserves the boot simply for membership in another group that is so awful that we don't want to be associated with their taint? (If so, please name the lurker and the group)

2²) How many groups are YOU a lurker in? Which ones/why?

5) Do you think that lurkers and active, useful, functioning, THC members can coexist peacefully, like the human being and the fish?

001) Yes or No: Did this survey seem like a good idea before you realized you'd have to browse through lurkers' profiles?

*EDIT*

001b)Which lurker do you wish would pull a Gretchen and become an active, reformed lurker?

vii) Is there a lurker related question i should have included, but didn't? If so, what's the question?

[Tom]

This what you were going for, Tambo?

[smetchie]

Tom. You're the winner. (is that premature?)

[[deleted user]]

Tom. You're the winner. (is that premature?)

Congratulations! Good work, Tom. I guess I won’t bother posting my survey……

[[deleted user]]

You cannot vote when there's only one candidate! I just had to do that for our union rep. DUMB!

But I like your survey, Tom. I will fill it out, soon! I love it.

[smetchie]

1) If you could give any lurker the boot from THC, who would it be and why?

My friend Jamie because I asked her to join and she did but she hasn't posted anything yet.

B) What is the most absurd thing you've seen in a lurker's profile?

none of our lurkers are even remotely interesting. i scanned a bunch and found nothing noteworthy. (but i LOVE the word absurd.)

III) Is there a lurker who deserves the boot simply for membership in another group that is so awful that we don't want to be associated with their taint? (If so, please name the lurker and the group)

yes. carcas is in this group:
http://www.goodreads.com/group/show/9...

2²) How many groups are YOU a lurker in? Which ones/why?

none since I quit lurking here.

5) Do you think that lurkers and active, useful, functioning, THC members can coexist peacefully, like the human being and the fish?

yes. some people just like to watch and that's ok with me.

001) Yes or No: Did this survey seem like a good idea before you realized you'd have to browse through lurkers' profiles?

yes.

vii) Is there a lurker related question i should have included, but didn't? If so, what's the question?

no.

[Tom]

Since no one else is actually answering the survey, i'll start... Since no one else but Gretchen has actually answered the survey, i'll go ahead...

1) If you could give any lurker the boot from THC, who would it be and why? This one: http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/23...
Apart from being, apparently, underaged... her favorite books are "I don't read books!" Her "about me?" "I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE Guys!" She's joined 36 groups but has posted only in 6 of them-- she's a serial lurker. Oh, and she has as many photos as books-- 5-- versus 20 times that many friends.

B) What is the most absurd thing you've seen in a lurker's profile? This: http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/86... Her "about me" mixes first and third person. Not in itself a terribly absurd thing, Rusty does it all the time. What makes it absurd, at least to me, is that she's the "Author/President of One Stop Write Shop," which bills itself as "The Home for Talented Writers!" Or maybe not.

III) Is there a lurker who deserves the boot simply for membership in another group that is so awful that we don't want to be associated with their taint? (If so, please name the lurker and the group) In addition to her other faults, the little teenie bopper i listed above also belongs to a "Hot Topic Roleplay" group.

2²) How many groups are YOU a lurker in? Which ones/why? Errr.....Look! A puppy! *points*

5) Do you think that lurkers and active, useful, functioning, THC members can coexist peacefully, like the human being and the fish? No! They're breathing my oxygen, dammit!

001) Yes or No: Did this survey seem like a good idea before you realized you'd have to browse through lurkers' profiles? Yup, pretty much.

vii) Is there a lurker related question i should have included, but didn't? If so, what's the question? No, otherwise i would have included it. Duh.

[[deleted user]]

1) If you could give any lurker the boot from THC, who would it be and why?

http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/21...

For one, drop the Jennifer Aniston avatar! What does that mean when people use celebrities (excluding Gretchen who had a reason) as avatars? Are we to equate Jamie with Jennifer?

BONUS: This girl (http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/19...) freaks me out. She requested me as a friend and complimented my pictures. I'm scared. Sorry, Sonia, if you're lurking!

BONUS 2: http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/86...

His favorite book is TV guide? Hardy-har-har-har.

B) What is the most absurd thing you've seen in a lurker's profile?

Just the whole profile (http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/13...)

III) Is there a lurker who deserves the boot simply for membership in another group that is so awful that we don't want to be associated with their taint? (If so, please name the lurker and the group)

Well, goodreads authors who join every group can go:
http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/...

2²) How many groups are YOU a lurker in? Which ones/why?

http://www.goodreads.com/group/show/1...

It is painful to look at, but still entertaining, occasionally. Apparently in those tween groups, there's a girl named Summer that everyone wants to just go away. SUMMER IS A BUTTHOLIO!

5) Do you think that lurkers and active, useful, functioning, THC members can coexist peacefully, like the human being and the fish?

Yes. I like them. I pretend they all know who we are an everything about us. They have charts at home, printing out our avatar changes and making venn diagrams and such to determine who is the most evil (not Alfonso, I'm afraid. I've met him and he's just nice and unthreatening).

001) Yes or No: Did this survey seem like a good idea before you realized you'd have to browse through lurkers' profiles?

I'm not lazy when it comes to browsing on goodreads, so I still think it's a good idea.

vii) Is there a lurker related question i should have included, but didn't? If so, what's the question?

Which lurker do you wish would pull a Gretchen and become an active, reformed lurker?

Helenn, Alfonso's sister. Hi, Helenn!

[[deleted user]]

What does that mean when people use celebrities (excluding Gretchen who had a reason) as avatars?

Amen.

Jackasses!

[[deleted user]]

Oh yeah. And DM! Hee-hee.

[Tom]

To be fair (yeah, i know. why start now?), i think there's a bit of a difference between a "celebrity as a movie or tv character" pic and a "celebrity smiling for the cameras on the red carpet" pic.

[[deleted user]]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Edited to add Tambo's extra question.

[smetchie]

SARAH!!! You didn't read my survey!!! You know how I know? That's my FRIEND, Jamie! She has that jennifer aniston avatar because I hacked into her profile and uploaded it when I got sick of looking at the dumb GR brown silhouette (damn that's a hard word to spell i had to look it up and i wasn't even close.) You know what's funny? She gets guys hitting on her on GR all the time like "you're so pretty" and she's like "WTF dumbass...you think that's me?" (Tho she is really pretty in real life too.) Who doesn't recognize Jennifer Aniston nowadays?

[Kasia]

1) If you could give any lurker the boot from THC, who would it be and why?
http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/10...
"alone and suicidal.." Yeah I would be too if I was friended by Paulo Coelho and just read The Alchemist. Besides he has some book on Poland there. Freaks me out. Oh and, he haven't logged on in a year, maybe the "alone and suicidal" thing got to him. Gives me chills.

B) What is the most absurd thing you've seen in a lurker's profile?
http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/18... her picture + interests + age = sex worker
Another explanation for that profile? She an attention seeking lolita. Still: yuck.

III) Is there a lurker who deserves the boot simply for membership in another group that is so awful that we don't want to be associated with their taint?
7ducemobster: http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/11... - I appreciate the naked abs in the profile picture, but oh, come on... his groups?! SCHLAGLE STALLIONS?!! http://www.goodreads.com/group/show/4...
and this: http://www.goodreads.com/group/show/4...

2²) How many groups are YOU a lurker in? Which ones/why?
None at this moment, but when I get really bored I would join a group, lurk for a while, before eventually droping out.

5) Do you think that lurkers and active, useful, functioning, THC members can coexist peacefully, like the human being and the fish?
I suppose so, they are a rather silent bunch.

001) Yes or No: Did this survey seem like a good idea before you realized you'd have to browse through lurkers' profiles?
Yes.

001b)Which lurker do you wish would pull a Gretchen and become an active, reformed lurker?
She seems ok: http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/67585 I've seen her posting in another group, but not here

vii) Is there a lurker related question i should have included, but didn't? If so, what's the question?
For how long did YOU lurk here, in THC? Explain yourself. Or did you start posting the day you've joined?

[smetchie]

http://www.goodreads.com/group/show/4...
is my favorite. I can only assume it stands for Pussy Eaters Club. but there are only 2 members. How sad.

[[deleted user]]

Oh my god. I'm sorry I ragged on your friend. I TAKE IT ALL BACK!!!

[[deleted user]]

I did read your post, Gretchen, but I didn't think about the name. :/

[Tom]

I love Kasia's ringing endorsement of a lurker she'd like to see become active: "She seems ok."

[smetchie]

For how long did YOU lurk here, in THC? Explain yourself. Or did you start posting the day you've joined?

I posted the day I joined, then lurked for a year, biding my time...

[smetchie]

Montambo wrote: "I did read your post, Gretchen, but I didn't think about the name. :/"

but you didn't click on her profile huh? I'm going to hack in and upload a real picture of her just for you. Because I know you love to see people's faces.

[Dave]

Wow, she's literally doubled over in laughter.

[Matthieu]

Who is, Dave?

[Dave]

Gretchen's friend. Click the first link in message 8.

[Matthieu]

She's actually rather attractive! She doesn't need to hide behind the curtain of Aniston.

[Reads with Scotch]

>>>>1) Yes or No: Did this survey seem like a good idea before you realized you'd have to browse through lurkers' profiles?<<<<


Yes... and I am tiered so I may or may not respond to this survey. I do think it is top notch though, I am just not feeling anything labor intensive at the moment.

[smetchie]

I don't think people use avatars of famous people because they're not attractive. Maybe they just want to remain anonymous.

[Matthieu]

I was kidding, Gretchen...

[smetchie]

I don't think you can use any of Tom's questions in your stupid group because they're all about lurkers. (Tom really has a lurker fetish, doesn't he?)