Chapter 1 - Chapter 12

[Colleen]

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[Colleen]

i don't know what i expected.
so far i think i've enjoyed the writing style.
i don't know how i feel. it's putting me in the same place as Perks of Being a Wallflower.

[Trish, IT]

I watched the movie a couple years ago and I enjoyed it, but obviously books are always different than their movies, so I wasn't sure what I'd be getting either.

From the way Craig describes himself in the mirror in chapter 1, you can already tell he's anxious, nervous, self-conscious... Not many guys put that much detail into describing anything, much less themselves. So he has problems with himself and/or he's just very good with details.

Later on, I got the feeling he's bitter toward psychologists, maybe because they can't fix him. From his attitude time to time, I wonder if he fights treatment because he's been depressed for so long, not being depressed would be out of his comfort zone.

He's simplistic, logical, and mathematical when talking about life and himself in general, making lots of connections which really add to what I'm calling the "doom" thought process--the part where he goes "if I don't do this then I can't do that and if I can't do that then I can't do this and if I can't do this then I'll be miserable and not have a good life." I wonder if he's going on with the "doom" thought process because of the depression or because of his natural logical mind. Because he's depressed for pretty much this entire narration, it's hard to tell what he was like when he wasn't depressed, and later he offers the suggestion that maybe he's been depressed his whole life. So who knows?

From his narration around chapter 4, I got the impression Craig doesn't make any effort into being better, he simply wants the Shift and that's that. I don't know how much of it is he just doesn't want to put in effort or if he just has no self-confidence and doesn't want to because he doesn't think he can do it.

I find it interesting he's able to pick up on social cues quite easily but he doesn't excel socially at all. His obsessive and/or compulsive behavior may be a result of his lack of social interaction? Of course he has Aaron, who likes him before he falls deep into depression, but Aaron is his only friend. And even then I wonder how long their relationship is to last with Aaron going out with Nia. But with Craig being so passive, I don't think he'd confront Aaron about it... and Aaron is part of his routine, and I doubt he would break it because of Nia.

Craig's family life is extremely positive, his parents are willing to spend $120 an hour for his therapist, so there's no doubt they're supportive. Even though they seem to pressure him a little with efforts to make him better, they don't seem to intend to be pressuring and are working hard to help him be better. That's really nice to see, especially since I was expecting them not to be supportive at all. It's interesting to see someone be depressed without any family problems... His mom is really trusting, and I'm pretty relieved about that too because with all the stress he's putting on himself, he doesn't need his mom on top of that.

Craig has put a lot of pressure on himself and is the one who set the standards to follow. I feel really bad he worked so hard and sacrificed so much of his time for a school he can barely keep up with. I wonder if the school was the breaking point or if he would have been depressed regardless.

I related with Craig with Aaron and Nia's PDA, especially because some of my friends do PDA in front of me (although not as intense as Aaron and Nia) and it can be so annoying. Since Aaron is truly Craig's friend, I'm sure he doesn't do it on purpose to spite Craig, but I wonder if Nia knows Craig likes her, or if it was Craig's assumption she knew?

One thing I couldn't get over was: do 8th graders really party like that? And do 8th and 9th graders really have sex that often? Since I was the kind of person who would just stay at home and read a book or whatever, I don't actually know if junior high kids really did that stuff. Ugh, I hope I wasn't really that innocent as a 8th grader/freshman *sigh*

I really like the writing style too! I felt so bad for him when he mixed up making out and hooking up, that was a little humorous haha... This is super quotable and relatable too--like the bathroom quote I posted in particular. I actually go to the bathroom to avoid social situations too, so that was nice to see in a book. In some ways, Craig really gets me.

You know, Colleen, after reading chapter 10 or 11, I was thinking about The Perks of Being a Wallflower too. I was thinking that Craig has a more mature voice than Charlie did in Perks, and the two could have a lot to talk about. They both sort of have the same atmosphere, don't you think?