I Hate Being White

[Jillian]

No it's in Wisconsin too.

I hate it that when you buy canned air they have to check your ID.

[shellyindallas]

I hate being white and from the south--people make all kinds of assumptions.

The dancing and singing thing doesn't apply to me though, that's only true for white dudes.

[[deleted user]]

Nope, Shelly, it totally applies to white chicks too. I was born with such a severe lack of rhythm that it is positively shocking. My singing abilities also leave much to be desired. As long as the radio is loud enough it isn't actually "painful" I am told. Luckily I don't actually like to dance, but I LOVE to sing, and sing loud! So, screw you all, that's me in the car with my head thrown back, belting out some Boris the Spider!!

Oh, and I played basketball on an inner city team in High School, I sucked BAD... but had so much fun! There was one other white girl, named Amy as well...she didn't suck though, just me.

[Fredstrong]

Only users lose drugs...

[Sarah]

I don't think singing and dancing talents are race-specific. I've been dancing since I was five and singing, well, all my life, but classically trained since I was 14.

Soul, however, I am too white to possess. I don't get people like Joss Stone who have oodles of soul. I kind of hate her for that.

[Kelly]

I hate that my ancestors in the British isles (the very white folk) and their lack of sunshine, you know, ever, means that I will never ever tan in my life. I hate that I did not get the Italian genes instead.

I didn't know there were "white drugs"... possibly because I know nothing about drugs...

[Xio]

Just because Joss Stone sounds like she swallowed a black larynx doesn't give her any kind of ?"soul". For heaven's sake...does anyone even like her? I hate her and stupid Norah stupid Jones. They're white. I am green, probably due to my white trash father's use of that supremely white drug crank (which is local ? for Meth).

My best friend routinely says I'm actually black. He is black. I don't know what any of this means but I'm enjoying writing it.

Um, just jumping in with some hate, y'all.

[Reads with Scotch]

There is a very simple cure for the lack of rhythm and soul in crackers… I know it is a terrible plight but there is a cure folks… Booze... a lot of booze, the more you consume the less you care, the better you dance and sing… even if you can’t carry a tune in a bucket. Let your inner self sing and use the bucket for all the vomit… and as you stagger away people will think your dancing. See what I told you, a win win, the bad side of white is solved! Have faith in the Irish.