Green Building Geeks discussion
Dealing with naysayers
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When I was working on selling the idea of a cob house to friends and family, I usually used the thousand year old cob homes in England as a trump card. When you point out that the elegant white homes which are so picturesque and common to England are cob, the complaints about how you are planning on living in "a mud hut" tend to be silenced.
Great responses, guys. As Brian suggests, ultimately the proof is in the pudding... once you're living in a new way and it works, you won't have to justify yourself. And until you do, you won't be able to justify yourself to anyone who isn't willing to listen with an open mind. For those people, of course, all the things Mo brought up will do pretty well (and I do find that the many pictures available on the internet are very helpful, especially when you can point to buildings hundreds of years old. My wife and I are headed to upstate New York tomorrow, where we'll be looking at a possible piece of land--it's 30 acres that we can afford, but we'll have to see it in person to make the judgment.
Good luck with the land John.
One of the other tricks I use when dealing with the nabobs of negativity, is to ask if they would like to compare mortgage payments, or other bills..
When I can tally all of my bills and still be under 4 figures, perhaps under three after I get the garden going strong, they really have little about which to be negative.. after all they are working 5 days a week or more, to pay the minimums on their debt, whereas we will be living 48 weeks a year, or so on the (paid) work of about a month.. I simply then ask them which they would prefer: a month paid vacation, or 11 months of vacation.. :)
When it is family or others that you just have to deal with, you can always kill them with kindness once you are set up. Hopefully we will all have an abundance in the gardens and foraging, so you can give away blackberry jam, or fresh vegetables, in a nicely packaged basket or the like, as a subtle reminder of good life we are choosing to live.
I know that much of the negativity I get falls into a few types:
1. the negative Nelly: This person would find fault with winning the lottery. Nothing you can say or do will ever make this person less negative so even if they are related, write them off. Ignore or avoid them.
2. the fearful Freddy: This person just doesn't like anything which is not prepackaged and advertised during "must see tv." These are the ones you will find who are frightened of homebrew, avoid garden veggies, and unsurprisingly watch whatever is popular on television.. You might have a shot at swaying these folks, but I sure won't invest much time in them (btw I know someone who is both Nelly and Freddy.. *shiver*..)
3. the cautious Cathy: This person is simply ignorant of the advantages of the type of life we are all choosing, and may react negatively simply to hide that ignorance. Still, this is the one who can come around to our way of thinking. She will try the wonderful abundance from the gardens and orchards. She will listen to your explanations. She is also very rare in my experience, but I've come across a few and they are well worth the time for explanations.. besides, when someone will give you a chance to talk about what you are doing, are you really going to pass it up? :)
Just my experience from advocating this life for the last several years..
One of the other tricks I use when dealing with the nabobs of negativity, is to ask if they would like to compare mortgage payments, or other bills..
When I can tally all of my bills and still be under 4 figures, perhaps under three after I get the garden going strong, they really have little about which to be negative.. after all they are working 5 days a week or more, to pay the minimums on their debt, whereas we will be living 48 weeks a year, or so on the (paid) work of about a month.. I simply then ask them which they would prefer: a month paid vacation, or 11 months of vacation.. :)
When it is family or others that you just have to deal with, you can always kill them with kindness once you are set up. Hopefully we will all have an abundance in the gardens and foraging, so you can give away blackberry jam, or fresh vegetables, in a nicely packaged basket or the like, as a subtle reminder of good life we are choosing to live.
I know that much of the negativity I get falls into a few types:
1. the negative Nelly: This person would find fault with winning the lottery. Nothing you can say or do will ever make this person less negative so even if they are related, write them off. Ignore or avoid them.
2. the fearful Freddy: This person just doesn't like anything which is not prepackaged and advertised during "must see tv." These are the ones you will find who are frightened of homebrew, avoid garden veggies, and unsurprisingly watch whatever is popular on television.. You might have a shot at swaying these folks, but I sure won't invest much time in them (btw I know someone who is both Nelly and Freddy.. *shiver*..)
3. the cautious Cathy: This person is simply ignorant of the advantages of the type of life we are all choosing, and may react negatively simply to hide that ignorance. Still, this is the one who can come around to our way of thinking. She will try the wonderful abundance from the gardens and orchards. She will listen to your explanations. She is also very rare in my experience, but I've come across a few and they are well worth the time for explanations.. besides, when someone will give you a chance to talk about what you are doing, are you really going to pass it up? :)
Just my experience from advocating this life for the last several years..
A friend of mine encountered another category:
4. invisible Isabel: While gradually developing his property, G. was living in the woods in a large yurt. It was fairly substantial for a "tent," as it had well water, electricity, wood plank flooring, and a wood stove. Nevertheless, it did not meet county building codes for permanent residences. At some point, the authorities were alerted and issued some sort of warning. What is mystifying was how anyone determined the warning was needed. This was a large, wooded parcel in a county with one of the Midwest's lowest population densities. G.'s conclusion was that one of his neighbor's must have been trespassing and decided to clean up the neighborhood. The upshot was that he divided his time between his yurt and a girlfriend's house while he built a concrete-floored, timber-framed house.
4. invisible Isabel: While gradually developing his property, G. was living in the woods in a large yurt. It was fairly substantial for a "tent," as it had well water, electricity, wood plank flooring, and a wood stove. Nevertheless, it did not meet county building codes for permanent residences. At some point, the authorities were alerted and issued some sort of warning. What is mystifying was how anyone determined the warning was needed. This was a large, wooded parcel in a county with one of the Midwest's lowest population densities. G.'s conclusion was that one of his neighbor's must have been trespassing and decided to clean up the neighborhood. The upshot was that he divided his time between his yurt and a girlfriend's house while he built a concrete-floored, timber-framed house.
For a while my answer to such persons was simply to ask when they planned on retiring. The point of it was that I was doing what I wanted, in essence retiring more than 20 years "early." It isn't that I am wealthy, but that because I am choosing to build my own home, with a budget of $5000, and live as much as is possible off of the land, I can live on a fraction of the income that these same persons need in order to pay for their house in the 'burbs, their new cars, etc.
Still even in the boonies I have come across nay-sayers, usually profoundly arrogant people, whose arrogance is matched only by their ignorance. In the case of one such neigbor here, I am choosing to ignore her constant mantra of "you can't do that here" and when I do whatever it is that she is naysaying, such as growing vegetables, or living off grid, I will let those successes speak for me.
However the principle thing I do to ward off the negativity, is to try to surround myself with positive like minded people. None here locally, but several online..