Weekly Short Stories Contest and Company! discussion
Weekly Poetry Stuffage
>
Week 185 (Oct 12th to 19th). Poems. Topic: Dust
date
newest »
newest »
:-)I forgot to mention that Ajay put it in the topic suggestion thread. I have promised myself to get a story written this week. [Crosses fingers and toes!]
LOL! I will be sure not to tell him.
LOL! Yes, terrible topic, whoever suggested it should be shunned from the ship :)
Too funny. This topic is the same topic that I wrote my first poem here on. Memories. :) Lol.
how to become a writerby Kat
have parents that separate
when you’re in high school;
a father filled with unused anger
and a mother who’s too
busy to care.
pretend it doesn’t hurt.
let your friends treat you
like dirt;
after all,
everything is your fault.
listen to their problems with a fake smile
all the while crying out because
everything hurts and no one can see.
press a knife to your skin,
but be too cowardly to
draw your own blood.
fall in love with people
who could never notice you,
because you’re
just. not. good.
enough.
chew on the multicolored
strands of your hair.
(you can’t stop running
from who you really are.)
carry around a notebook
and scrawl every thought in is
with unreadable handwriting.
s
t
a
c
k
filled notebooks in a corner
to be forgotten.
expel dust from your lungs as you
breathe in bitterness and regret.
don’t say a word when
your father yells at you,
tells you that you’re
not good enough.
believe him.
grab that knife again.
press
it
to
your
skin.
d r a g.
your soul pouring out
through your wrists.
do it again.
and again
and again.
never stop.
tell yourself that no one
could ever really love you.
because it’s true.
pick up the shattered fragments
of your heart when you
don’t listen to yourself.
scatter the pieces of your soul
just so you can find them again.
run away from home,
telling yourself that
you’ll never go back
only
to return weeks later
because life is harder than it seems.
stare into empty eyes every morning.
curl around yourself, sobbing, in the shower.
sleep whenever you can
because
dreams are so much easier.
stop sleeping
because
dreams turn to nightmares.
and the nightmares
are your reality.
wake up crying
to stifle the tears.
no one can help.
make a bucket list of things
you’ll never do because
you can’t even make yourself
get out of bed each morning.
let your depression press
the pause button on your life.
listen.
because it laughs at you
as you watch the world go on
without you.
keep fitting your battle mask on,
every day,
because without it,
people will see that you care
too much.
and it hurts.
Thanks, M. That means a lot, since it's a really personal piece.
It’s a moving poem, very effectively written. Moreover, because of the way it’s laid out, it has an aspect that’s visual, that makes it like a work of art, so the effect of it is complex.
Extremely moving, Kat. I've never read anything like it before. The form is very innovative and that lends it that extra punch in many areas. The knife part was especially jarring but it delivers the desired effect. This poem deeply resonated with me.
Al and Kat, both of you stepped outside your norm this week I think. Al, yours is so sentimental and nostalgic, yet so simple :)Kat, I think if you had not used the creative form and visual effects you did, this poem would have been relatively flat because the language is fairly simple. But your construction turns it into something really interesting for the senses. I applaud you for putting something so personal out there as well.
Wow. I applaud your scat back -"agilscuzothymia. ie. running back." scenography. Paint a scene. Bell shaped, white flowers. While beetles eat leaves under crescent smiles, and eat ocean under secret hours.
Thank you very much, Ajay. That means a lot, coming from you.Kristen, thanks! *huggle*
Alex, I love your poem. I've reread it about ten times. It's just so real and relatable. Thank you for sharing!
A very unique poem, Kat. I love the depth of emotion and the way you expressed it with the stops and pauses. Deeply moving :)
Hi everyone. I found out about this through Kristen. I liked the topics, so I have desided to join. In my next comment I will post my poem to this week's theme (great theme btw.) - please feel free to critique me. You have free reign to be as blunt as you possibly could want to be! One more thing - I'm from South Africa, so the references to Africa aren't fictious...
Hints of dustMy mind starts to ponder
Though I stare but a second,
At my old companion, a lingering beige safari hat
It whispers its stories by its various colors of dust.
It witnessed in silence as I stood on the stones of Africa
The rivers folding tranquility ‘round my feet
A device of artistry in my hand
Waiting for the mysteries below.
Standing beside me, marked as ever
By his strange ways and his scars,
The ever present rough old man.
We awaited the imprints of red African dust
On our rags, our skins and our souls.
But here I stand, shaken from the moment
The coarse fellow has faded away
Just as the dust on the brim,
And I’m stuck with only a hint of things past,
And a hat.
Dust of AgesBeneath the rise and fall of tides,
the half-truths told
hide entire lies.
Before the seasons, fading fast,
the victor's version becomes
the vanquished's past.
Behind our walls of battle-scarred stone,
we huddle meek, in fear
of waking alone.
Beyond the will to do what we must,
lives the certain knowledge
we are naught but dust.
~ R ~
any critique is appreciated
Captain: A beautiful poem, brought to life by your reading. It is softer and more nostalgic than a lot of your poetry but just as wonderful. The last two lines are magic. Your voice is a perfect fit for your poetry.Kat: I shudder to think how much time the layout took you in HTML! Very nicely done, the visual effect is stunning and adds a definite dimension to your words. This is such a personal piece but you made me feel as though I was beside you, sharing your pain. Jarring, moving and exquisite.
Marlon: Firstly, welcome! Any friend of Kristen's... What a stunning portrayal of a beautiful country. You've done an excellent job with your imagery and the story you tell is mysterious and very interesting. I love the lines 'We awaited the imprints of red African dust/On our rags, our skins and our souls.' Welcome aboard, you've set a very high standard for yourself to follow. I'm looking forward to reading more.
Ryan: Quite possibly the best poem ever written. Clearly the winner, in my opinion ;o)
Tista: I could be wrong, but I don't think I've read a post from you here before? If that's the case, welcome! If not, I apologise. I love your title, it got the poem started on just the right note for me. I had to read it through a couple of times to get the rhythm right, and it was certainly worth the effort. I really enjoyed the flow. It actually reminded me a little of A.A. Milne (who is right up there with my favorite poets). I really enjoyed this from start to finish. Well done!
It might be better to leave the sleep in...
one summer, one lifetime
(any critique is welcome)
You pick up a stone along a path
to carve into the shape of your heart
Your eyes sparkle under a moonlit sky
Or is it just my imagination?
You offer it to me with thousands of promises
and I take it, no questions asked
Sweet words slip from your lips
but it taste bitter in my tongue
You wrap me in a tight embrace
and I choke on the crisp night air
We used to glow together
But now our light has faded out
The morning after, I see you
dressed in nothing but the truth
I stare at you and blink twice
For you have thrown dust in my eyes
(any critique is welcome)
You pick up a stone along a path
to carve into the shape of your heart
Your eyes sparkle under a moonlit sky
Or is it just my imagination?
You offer it to me with thousands of promises
and I take it, no questions asked
Sweet words slip from your lips
but it taste bitter in my tongue
You wrap me in a tight embrace
and I choke on the crisp night air
We used to glow together
But now our light has faded out
The morning after, I see you
dressed in nothing but the truth
I stare at you and blink twice
For you have thrown dust in my eyes
nice work from everyone! proper read when I get some time. juggling a few things around at the moment.so i missed this week's topic?...
Leslie: What a beautiful, thought-provoking poem! This is so pleasant to read. Your title is perfect, the poem flows smoothly and the sentiment is lovely. Your last two lines provide such a strong finish. Just beautiful!
Oh, yes! That line “I see you / dressed in nothing but the truth” is one of the all-time greats posted in the W.S.S.
Please post directly into the topic and not a link and do not use a poem previously used in this group.
Please keep your poem to LESS THAN 3,500 words long.
REMEMBER! A poem can take any size shape form.
This week’s topic is: Dust. (Thank you for the suggestion, Ajay.)
The rules are pretty loose. You could write a poem about anything that has to do with the subject. I do not care, but it must relate to the story somehow.
Have fun!