Boomerang & DAANCE (Apparently also Daancy) 2.0 #3

[[deleted user]]

[ Haha, glad it came as a surprise. I have a few more things in stock for Phillips' past Should I spill them since this is going to be the only session we're doing? :o]

Sgt. William Booth Phillips: I didn't look at anyone or their looks after I'd said what I did. Did I feel better for sharing it? No. Was it worth it? I guess there was one way to find out. I kept my gaze on everyone's shoes at Sherry's sympathies. I waited for Xavier to say something, admit a little something, even if it was he wasn't okay or that they'd beat him. Anything to kill this silence.
When the boy finally spoke, I glanced up, my hazel eyes staring at him intently. I looked at Sherry as she spoke and nodded my head a little. Briefly, I wondered if she had ever gone through anything or if she was just one girl with some degree that didn't mean shit.
"S'okay, Xavier." I murmured under my breath. If he felt pressured to speak, then therapy wouldn't mean anything for him. It wouldn't do him any good. "You don't have to say anything. Takes time." Those were as wise as my words would get. Because I wasn't a smart man nor was I one for words. I just acted and reacted and took pills to drown the urges that deemed me potentially dangerous to society.

[(╯`▭´）╯︵ ǝɔnɒꓷ]

(Hmm...That's up to you. He could always tell Xavier a few things when he's having one of his meltdowns, in order to show that it really is okay to talk to someone, or something like that. And this doesn't have to be the only session we do. We could do another one in the future, when Xavier's starting to open up just a little bit more?)

[[deleted user]]

[ That's a good idea. :) ]

[(╯`▭´）╯︵ ǝɔnɒꓷ]

(Uh...Which one?)

[[deleted user]]

[ Oh, I thought you meant both in one, haha. Well I like both then. ]

[(╯`▭´）╯︵ ǝɔnɒꓷ]

(Haha, oh, okay. And you want to know the irony to that? I just did something similar to somebody else I'm roleplaying with yesterday. XP So did you want to do both ideas rolled into one, then? (And I'm only waiting on replying, just so I know for sure what we're doing first. ^ ^))

[[deleted user]]

[ Haha that is ironic. ^^ We can definitely do both ideas. ]

[(╯`▭´）╯︵ ǝɔnɒꓷ]

(Lol, alright. X))

Xavier

I glanced over at Phillips almost gratefully, though his words did little to ease my discomfort and the slight anxiety I felt about talking about what happened. But before anything else could be said, Sherry spoke up again. I guess that she was trying to be 'helpful', in her own way. But she was really only beginning to aggravate me even more. "Well, that's alright, Xavier." she murmured quietly. "Take your time. We'll get there eventually. Everyone heals at a different rate. Yours just seems to be a little longer than everyone else's. Which is perfectly fine." I think she continued talking after that, but I had had enough, tuning out her useless chatter. This whole thing had been a bad idea in disguise; I didn't know any of these people, didn't know what either of them had been through, and they would never truly know what I've been through. Not really. I didn't even want to open up to Dom, because I knew that my words would only cause him pain, not understanding.
How the hell was I supposed to open up to a room full of strangers, when I couldn't even open up to my own lover?
Suddenly, I couldn't take this anymore-the walls that seemed to be closing in on me, the circle of faceless people, Sherry, the phantom screams of agony and mercy and-
No. No. More. I can't take this anymore.
Lurching from my seat so suddenly and unexpectedly that my chair clattered to the floor, startling everyone, I hurried to the large double doors that would serve as my exit, my freedom from this suffocating confinement, ignoring Sherry's protests at my retreat as I flung open the doors and stumbled out of the room, almost like a drunk stumbling out of a bar, feeling dazed and lost and just...There without being there. I didn't need Sherry's meaningless sympathy, or Sergeant Phillips, or any of these people. I didn't need to talk about memories that I wanted so desperately to keep burried.
I needed Dom. Just Dom.

[(╯`▭´）╯︵ ǝɔnɒꓷ]

(+Buried+. Saw that right when I posted. +Facepalm+)

[[deleted user]]

[ LOL so when I read 'burried' my mind processed it as 'burritoed' xD My mind is just so obsessed with food. ]

Dominique Blair Sanchez: "Listen, Scott, I don't think we sho-"
"Come on, Dom, the session's not over for another hour. It's not like Xavier's going to go crazy if he notices you're gone. In fact, we'll be back before it ends." I paused at his words, looking into his eyes with some sort of conflicted emotion.
"Scott," I began softly, looking down at my hands as I rested the edge of my mouth on my scarf. "If this is some sort of --" I was interrupted by a sharp sigh coming from Scott.
"I'm not hitting on you, I just want to catch up. I mean, it's been awhile, no?"
"Look, Scott, I just don't want to --" I jumped when my sentence was interrupted once again but this time by someone else other than my ex-boyfriend. Instead, it was Xavier running out of the door. Immediately, I stood up and ran over to him. I stood in front of him, my hand immediately came and tried to keep my staggering lover from falling over. "Baby," I said, trying to catch his attention. "Xavier, what happened?"
I raised my hand and stroked his gently, ignoring Sergeant Phillips standing at the door. I assumed he had run after him but I'd got to him faster.

[(╯`▭´）╯︵ ǝɔnɒꓷ]

(Haha, sorry. I always want to spell it with two r's for some reason. ^ ^' And it's quite alright. I always get a strange craving for the foods mentioned in rps, or those are the foods I use. It's weird. XP)

Xavier

I was barely aware of Dom being right in front of me until I felt his gentle touch, and before I knew it, I had wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him closer as I hid my face against the crook of his neck. "I...I'm sorry, Dom..." I murmured quietly, voice barely audible. "I just...I can't do this. I can't talk about it. Not to you, not to a room full of strangers-nobody. I just...I can't. I can't..." I felt so ashamed at how weak and pitiful I must have sounded, must have looked to anybody else. And I did want help, I really did. But...I realized now that talking about this wasn't going to help me. It was going to make me retreat further into myself, make me lock up my memories tight, want me to just burn them until they were ash. But I couldn't burn them until they were ash, couldn't get rid of them completely. I needed help, but I also knew that the help I received wasn't going to help me heal. At least, not yet. Not completely.

[[deleted user]]

[ Haha, no worries. (: Food is just amazing in every which way. ]

Dominique Blair Sanchez: At Xavier's words, I couldn't help but tighten the grip I already had around him when he'd rested his head in my neck. I leaned my head against his ducked one and rubbed his back in slow circles. Poor thing. I felt bad for having suggested it. Maybe it had been too early? Probably.
"Xavier, it's okay, it's okay." I murmured, running my fingers up the back of his hair slowly. "Nobody's mad at you." I assured him, closing my eyes and hoping he wouldn't cry. Not because I was embarrassed but because it pained me every time he did.
"It's okay if you're not ready, we can come back whenever you want. You're brave for having gone into the room." I paused and kissed his hair once. "It's the thought that counts, Xavier." I whispered quietly, my hand still tracing large circles on his back.

[(╯`▭´）╯︵ ǝɔnɒꓷ]

(Lol, true, true. XP)

Xavier

I relaxed a little under Dom's touch, but I still felt terrible; Dom had wanted to help me, and it felt as if I was slapping him in the face by bolting him out of that room like I had. I was brave for going into that room? Not likely.
After a few moments, I looked up at Dom, feeling-and most likely looking-miserable. "Can we go home now?" I asked quietly. "I just...I'm sorry. I just...I just want to go home. Not think about anything right now...." I rested my forehead against Dom's, closing my eyes with a soft sigh. I really just wanted to go home and forget. Or, try to, at least.

[[deleted user]]

Dominique Blair Sanchez: When he pulled back, I opened my eyes and looked up at him warmly. I rested a hand on his chest and nodded. "Of course we can." I whispered softly, pecking his lips gently before I pulled back and took his hand.
I looked back at Sergeant Phillips and smiled apologetically. "I'll give you a call tonight." I told him before he nodded and glanced back in the room before he walked back in and shut the door.
I looked over at Scott who was studying me with a frown. I gave him a faint smile and a brief wave before I hurried off with Xavier, grasping his hand tightly. I led us outside and to the car. But before I opened the door for Xavier, I turned around and laced my arms around his neck loosely.
"Are you okay?" I whispered, looking up at him. "Do you want to stop for some ice cream or something for the way home?" I smiled a little, tilting my head to the side.
I was also giving him the chance to go back in there if he wanted.

[(╯`▭´）╯︵ ǝɔnɒꓷ]

Xavier

I opened my eyes, glancing back at Phillips, feeling slightly guilty. Here was another man that was trying to help me, and I was just treating it as if it meant nothing. But before I could speak, he had already turned around and headed back inside of the room. I let Dom lead me outside, glancing only briefly at the nameless man that I hadn't noticed before talking to Dom. Who the hell was he? And how did he know Dom?
Deciding to push that question to the back of my mind for later, I headed towards the car, hand-in-hand with Dom. And then he stopped, asking me if I wanted ice cream. Ice cream. And for some reason, it made me snap a little. "Dammit, Dom! I just want to go home." I growled, tearing myself away from his loving hold. I turned around, slamming my fist against the roof of the car, emitting a hollow clang. "Ice cream's not going to make anything better, you idiot." I said before I could fully register what I had just said. And when it finally did, it was like a freight train of guilt hit me right in the chest as I slapped a hand over my mouth, eyes widening in astonishment at the hateful words I had just snarled at Dom. What the...hell? I hadn't meant to say that. I didn't even mean to think that! I would never call Dom an idiot, especially when he was just trying to help! God, what was wrong with me?

(This post actually made me kind of sad. Poor Dom. :()

[[deleted user]]

[ N'awww poor Xavier! And Dom! D: Lol I feel bad for Xavier because I know he totally didn't mean to. Dx ]

Dominique Blair Sanchez: One second, I was smiling and expecting Xavier to either say he'd rather just go home and lie down with me or say he actually did want to get some. Not...not what came next. He was retching his body away from mine and using a tone I'd never thought I'd hear from Xavier. I didn't think he was capable of it. Especially directed at me. I jumped and flinched when his hand went flying onto the car roof, the sound hard in my eardrums. I felt my face blanch a little as I stared at the small dent that had come from it.
What was happening?
But what hurt most were the words he spoke. I clenched my jaw and kind of just looked sideways at the wall of the building, trying not to let them get to me. He...he hadn't meant them, right? At that statement, my mind had the audacity to replay the moment and they struck me twice as hard.
"Ice cream's not going to make anything better, you idiot" Over and over again.
"Y-you're right." I whispered quietly, shaking my head and taking a step back. "You're right." I repeated normally this time, nodding my head, unlocking the door and opening it for Xavier. "It was a stupid idea, I'm sorry." Hastily, I made my way to the driver's side and got in. I buckled up, turned on the ignition and drove off in still silence.
I've never felt more stupid.

[(╯`▭´）╯︵ ǝɔnɒꓷ]

(I know! DX A part of me didn't want to put that in, but I knew that he's going to have to start showing signs of aggression at some point, so...But still. It hurts. ; A ;)

Xavier

His face. His tone. His words. God, I just wanted to lay down in front of the car and tell him to gun it. Several times. Because despite the immense pain that I felt in the past didn't even remotely compare to the agonizing guilt that ripped and shredded my heart. How could I say something like that? Especially to Dom? What kind of monster did something like that?
I swallowed hard when Dom opened my car door for me, and that monstorous guilt slammed into me again; even now, Dom was still being kind to me. Sliding into the car, I closed my door shut, buckling up im silence as well as Dom started the ignition and began to make his way home. I was silent for a very, very long time, until I just couldn't take it anymore. "Dom..." I started, my voice cracking slightly. I stopped, cleared my throat, then started again. "Dom, I...I'm so sorry." I murmured, unable to keep my voice from shaking slightly, heavy with its weight of guilt. "I...I don't...I don't know where that came from. I don't...I never should have said that. I didn't mean to. Honest. And I know that this doesn't make it any better, but I just want you to know that..." I started to reach for him, but then remembered the dent I had left in the car's roof, and I pulled my hand back almost violently, dropping it into my lap. Dear God, what if something like that happened again, and it was Dom that I struck out against?
I wouldn't be able to live with muself if that happened.
I looked down at my hands, biting my bottom lip as I struggled with what to say next. "I wish I could suck the words right back into my mouth..." I murmured, flushing with shame. "And...You're not an idiot, Dom. You're idea wasn't stupid, not at all. It was thoughtful, just like you." I brought a hand up to my face, as if trying to shut the guilt and shame out. "I'm the one who's the idiot here. Not you. Never you..." But despite the sincerity that dripped off of every word, every syllable, every letter, I knew that that wouldn't be enough to make it okay. Nothing would make it okay again. Not to me.

[[deleted user]]

[ ;~; So sad. I love these two which is why it makes it even sadder. Stupid symptoms of PTSD ):< I felt sad when Dom opened the door for Xavier anyway too, I dunno why haha. Does this mean there will be more sad Xavier aggressive moments? ;~; Poor thing. ]

Dominique Blair Sanchez: In the car, when Xavier began to speak, I gripped the steering wheel a little tighter with my fingers. I repeated to myself not to look over at him. To focus on the road. Anyway, by the time he had spoken, we were almost home already so that was good. But that sound, his fist hitting the roof, it still rung in my ears and it split my mind, making questions pop up. Should I be more careful? Would he...would he ever act on me? No.
I refused to believe Xavier would do that. If he did, well, that would be the day. I wasn't worried in the slightest about him injuring me.
Maybe the porcelain plates, but those were replaceable.
I listened to him and remained quiet. I still couldn't get myself to look at him or reach out and take his hand. In the end, I still thought my idea had been stupid. It wouldn't even have helped him. In that moment, I realized that nothing I could would help him. Truly help him.
"Xavier," I sighed quietly when he was finished, not sure what I should say. "It's okay." I glanced over at him and smiled a little. "Really, it is." I murmured, pulling into our driveway. I didn't make a move to step out. I just turned the car off and gently laid my hands on my lap. I looked down at the palm of my hands.
It's been three weeks and I hadn't been able to do anything for him. It didn't feel like it, anyway.
"Don't beat yourself up over it, okay? It's not a big deal, you were just a little flustered from the group therapy." I looked over at him and nodded my head a few times.
"Give yourself some slack, you achieved a lot today, Xavier, I'm proud of you." I smiled, trying my best to put the moment behind us and focus on the better things.

[(╯`▭´）╯︵ ǝɔnɒꓷ]

(Agreed. So. Many. Feels! DX And sadly. But I don't know if my heart could take a whole lot, so I'll probably just stick to doing one every now and then. There's one episode I have in mind that's just going to start one of the major climaxes in the rp, which would be a good time for Phillips to tell Xavier some of his past. But I really don't want to feel the major feel that it'll bring on! DX I just keep telling myself, "It's okay, they're going to get a happy ending. They're going to be fine. There will be happiness." I sometimes feel like I get way too involved with my rps sometimes...)

Xavier

Like hell that it's okay! It was most definately not okay! But what hit me the most was what Dom said at the end: You achieved a lot today, Xavier, I'm proud of you. What exactly had I achieved today? Besides being a complete ass to the most supportive and loving man I have ever met? What was there to be proud of?
My expression finally crumpled under the crushing weight of my nagging shame and guilt, and I dropped my face into my hands, my shoulders beginning to tremble with the effort of holding in my tears. "I...How can you just move on like that....?" I asked hoarsely. "How can you just...act like what I said, how I acted, was okay? How can I 'cut myself some slack' when there was absolutely no justification to treat you like that?" My voice became quieter, thicker, pained. "I was weak and explosive today. What's there to be proud of, Dom?" Here, Dom was trying to move on, an ability of his that I both admired and loved in him. But sometimes, there were just some things that you can't just move on from without trying to resolve them first.

[[deleted user]]

[ Tell meh deh episode so I can figure things out in my head! Dx So I know what part of his past to tell Xavier. T.T THERE WILL BE HAPPINESS OKAY? Keep telling yourself that! And with every obstacle they go through, they'll only fall even more in love with each other *-*
Ugh, tell me about it. I'm still mourning the end of my roleplay with Elias with my friend. First roleplay I've ever stuck through 'til poor Eli committed suicide...took me about a week to write that because I started tearing up when I'd try to write. xD I'VE SAID TOO MUCH! YOU MUST DIE NOW! ]

Dominique Blair Sanchez: I listened to him speak, my eyes growing softer as I watched his crumbling figure. I felt my heart swell with emotion as I leaned over and tentatively rested a hand on his back. Gentle. I made sure to be gentle. I didn't want to extract earlier's reaction, especially in a small space like this where there was more of a chance he could hurt himself.
"Xavier," I began, my thumb stroking a little bit of his shoulder as I stared at the windshield. "The mere fact that you walked into that door, that right there tells me, tells everyone, that you want to get better." I spoke quietly, a ghost of a smile on my face. "You went in there and you listened to those other people talk. Even if you didn't say anything." Judging by his storming out, he hadn't divulged anything but I could be wrong. "I don't think I would've been able to step into that room if I were in your shoes." That was entirely true.
"Why get worked up on a little thing when you've accomplished so much more? I mean, don't you feel even a little proud of yourself for going to the therapy? Even if you're not ready to live through it again, which is completely okay, you want to feel better." I paused, trying to find some sort of clever conclusion to summarize what I was trying to say.
"I can move on because I love you, Xavier." It all came down to one thing in the end. Love. I loved Xavier with all of my heart and soul and every millimeter of my body.

[(╯`▭´）╯︵ ǝɔnɒꓷ]

(Haha, alright. I'm still tweaking it, but I was thinking that Xavier could have had a really, really bad hallucenation, so he starts having a bit of an anxiety attack. Dom could be trying to comfort him, telling him that it's okay, but then Xavier gets angry and strikes out in reflex, hurting Dom. Naturally, Xavier is practically torn apart on the inside when he realizes what he's done, and in order to not hurt Dom anymore, he leaves right then and there and somehow ends up confronting Phillips and tells him that he can't do this anymore. Then it could just go from there.
I'M NOT GOING TO STOP TELLING MYSELF THIS BECAUSE I AM DETERMINED! And yes, yes they will. Though I'm not sure how much more in love they'll fall, as cheesy as that sounds. XP
And you just...You literally made me gasp out loud, which is hard to accomplish...I haven't even read that rp, and I already have feels. :( All I can say is that if you kill off any of your characters in any of the rps-especially Elias-I will cross the border into Canada and hunt you down. (Assuming that you live in Canada...))

Xavier

I jumped slightly when I felt a soft touch on my back, and I looked up at Dom with watery, miserable eyes, hearing his every word as he spoke. I swallowed hard, willing myself not to cry. Despite his words, I still felt insanely weak-willed. Sure, I did want to get better, but the whole point of therapy is to talk. And I had failed miserably.
I shook my head slightly, frowning when Dom had called my outburst 'such a little thing'. "It's not little to me..." I murmured, though I knew at this point that Dom wasn't going to allow me to continue on like this. So I just forced a small smile, which quickly grew a little warmer, a little more genuine when he told me that he loved me. "I...love you too, Dom." I murmured quietly. Which was exactly why I hated myself so much right now.

[[deleted user]]

[ ZOMG I WILL BE HAVING MAJOR FEELS AT THAT POINT. Dx Yayyyy Phillips is going to get the chance to be the papa bear he never got to be due to -- fjaklsdjfklakgNOT TELLING. Phillips will be an awkward papa bear, yes. ^^
Gnnhhggg...I'm already having feels about that part. When he lashes out at Dom my heart will break a little T.T
I WILL NOT STOP TELLING MYSELF THAT EITHER! Haha, that's totally cheesy in a truthful way. They'll just grow stronger as individuals and as a couple. <333
UGH I'm tearing up just thinking about it. It was the longest post I've ever written but...omg. He committed suicide because he wasn't strong enough T.T My poor baby. Haha, I pledge not to kill any of my characters as long as you don't either! I lurve them all!! (I do live in Canada :)) ]

Dominique Blair Sanchez: "Just know that I'm not mad or anything, okay?" I murmured when he said it wasn't little to him. I could understand that, but I didn't want him to think I was holding any of it against him. Sure the words still stung as of right now, but it didn't mean that I was emotionally angry at him for anything.
When he returned those three little words, I smiled warmly and slid my hand off of his shoulders. That's all I needed to hear to make all of this better. "Come on, let's head inside, it's getting kind of late." I pointed out at the setting sun. Personally, I was feeling quite tired and I couldn't imagine the stress Xavier must've endured, so I guess he must feel pretty tired.
"I think I'll hop in the shower and head to bed." I babbled as I walked over to the front door and unlocked it. I walked inside, threw the keys in the bowl I kept beside the door and began shedding my outdoor clothing. "What are you going to do?" I asked casually, hanging my coat up and removing my shoes.

[(╯`▭´）╯︵ ǝɔnɒꓷ]

(AHHH! THE FEELS! AND I HAVE A FEELING PHILLIPS IS GOING TO MAKE ME CRY! ; A ; And I knoooow! That's why I kind of don't want to do it, because they'll both be upset, Xavier will be horrified, I'll be crying in my corner of despair...It'll be a mess.
And haha, that they will. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! X3
Lol, I promise not to kill any of my charas. I've really only killed off three out of all my charas, and they all came back somehow. Ask Mal about Zack. She hated me when I killed him. XD (And I knew it! XP I live in state that basically has two seasons. It's rather entertaining, really. XD)

Xavier

Yup. I was right to say that Dom wouldn't let me beat myself up over this so easily, but I decided against commenting. Instead, I gave a small nod at his suggestion, sliding out of the passenger seat, limping my way up to the front door, trailing behind Dom. I kicked off my shoes and shrugged off my coat as Dom spoke, and I opened my mouth to answer when I was cut off by a yawn. "I think that I'm just going straight to bed." I murmured, suddenly feeling completely exhausted through and through, even though that it was still fairly early. Honestly, I just wanted to crawl under the covers and forget that this shit-tastic day ever happened.

[[deleted user]]

[ THE FEEELLLLSSS MAN! I LOVE PHILLIPS OKAY? I RESPECT THE MAN! He's had it tough because of a mistake that wasn't even his fault T.T
I'll be having feels too and I'll be at school and have the urge to just talk to my friends about but they all speak french and don't know about GR and aren't into mxms like we are xD
Haha I love when people love their characters, it just adds so much more to them. :p (Haha, didn't I tell you already though? xD Haha we have pretty much two seasons too..,but technically Spring is supposed to exist but ehhh...not so much anymore xD) ]

Dominique Blair Sanchez: At his words I simply nodded. "That sounds like a good idea." I agreed, taking a few steps into the hallway. I had the brief thought of turning around and kissing him, but a small part of me feared that he'd lash out again. He was in such a sensitive state...I didn't want to provoke any instinctual reflexes.
"I'll join you in a few minutes." I said instead, glancing back at him before I quickly headed in the bathroom, quietly shutting the door. I looked up at the shower curtain and remembered that first day where he'd come home. How I'd held him through his first breakdown I'd witnessed. The scars flashed before my eyes and I closed them, trying to get the image out of my head. I'd seen them many times after, but it still horrified me. It gave me nightmares of Xavier being tortured.
Slowly, I undressed and set the water to lukewarm before I slipped in, slowly shutting the curtain.
Before I could reach for the shampoo, I could already feel my lip quiver and my body warm up as the tears began to shed without warning. They were silent, camouflaging themselves with the water but I felt them. I didn't dare make a peep as to alert Xavier.
God I was so useless.

[(╯`▭´）╯︵ ǝɔnɒꓷ]

(So. Many. Feeeeels! DX And don't do that! Now you're going to make me flip out and wonder what happened to Phillips! ; ; (Who I also already really like as well.)
Lol, I know. I'll be all emotional that day too, and you-know-who will be subjected to my endless emotional overflow. She'll understand our pain. XD
Exactly. I feel so accomplished when I can get other people feeling for my charas as well, because then that just tells me that I don't suck too much. XP (You did, I just wasn't entirelly sure. ^ ^ And it's the same way here. We have Summer and Winter, and the pre-Winter and pre-Summer. X3)

Xavier

I gave a small nod directed at Dom's retreating back. "Alright." I called after him quietly. I let out a soft sigh as I headed towards the bedroom, not even trying to locate our dog like I normally would have. I was just way too spent to put forth anymore energy. Besides, he's around here somewhere; he'll make himself known whenever he feels like it.
Slipping into the bedroom, I glanced over at the bathroom door, biting my bottom lip as I debated whether or not I should check to make sure that Dom really was okay. Deciding to give the man some space, I slip off my pants and shirt, though I slipped into sweatpants and a loose hoody, no shirt underneath. After being back for a few days, it was not hard to notice that Dom was horrified everytime he saw my scarred flesh. So I tried to keep myself covered as much as possible, for as long as possible. Which is why I now slept in the most modest clothing out there.
With a soft sigh, I slid under the covers, curling up onto my side in a tight little ball and dragging the pillow over my head. A habit I had gotten into while in Iraq. But though I was exhausted, sleep wouldn't come easily, nor did I really want it to.
I was exhausted for a reason, you know.

[[deleted user]]

[ Feeellls <3 WAR IS BAD OKAY? IT RUINS PEOPLE! T.T First Phillips and then Xavier and then it affects people outside like Dom and just kf asdml;gdvmlglifadk. Errrrmahgaawwdd haha yes! Convert her! She must feel the feels too xD Haha you don't suck at all, Dancy :P (Don't forget post-summer and post-winter too xD) ]

Dominic Blair Sanchez: I stayed in the shower for a few extra minutes, simply because I wanted to make sure I didn't have red rims around my eyes before I stepped out. But I never really enjoyed taking showers either, so I was glad when I finally allowed myself to turn the knobs off and step out quietly. I grabbed the towel and dried my hair before I slipped into flannel pants and a white tank top on. I kind of always was insecure about my chest so I felt a little more confident with something over it at all times.
Using the towel, I wiped the fog off the mirror and stared at my blurry self in the reflecting glass. I ran a hand through my hair and then tried to fix it so it would dry appropriately in my sleep; I didn't want to wake up with a horrible case of the bedhead, that was not my style.
Finally, I brushed my teeth and washed my hands (a habit of mine) and finally stepped out of the bathroom. I flicked the light off and quietly made my way over to our room. I knew he was still awake but part of me wished that one day I'd come in and he'd be asleep. Before I stepped into the bedroom, I quickly went and made sure that the front door was locked, you could never be too safe, right?
Once I retreated my steps, I went over to the bed and slipped under the blanket on my side. I slid my hand underneath my pillow and brought it under my head, making it more comfortable. Facing Xavier, I stared at the pillow and imagined his face underneath, terrified. I sighed softly and tentatively reached over and found his hand. There, I slid my fingers in between his and gave a gentle squeeze. "Goodnight, Xavier." I whispered softly.

[ Okay okay, so you have a choice to make, mah friend. For whenever we do the whole first climax of the rp. Depending on if Phillips is in his house when Xavier goes and finds him or outside will have an impact as to which memory he decides to tell and how stern he's going to be. (Because he's no Dom xD)
Choose wisely, Yaoideer. ]

[(╯`▭´）╯︵ ǝɔnɒꓷ]

(FAQING WAR! WAR BE GONE! D:<
Haha, she will feel zhe feels! \(O ¤ O)/ And lol, thanks. But I know that I have my good days and my bad days. The whole point of sucking at something is to get better at it. ^ ^ (Wait, wouldn't that mean that there will be six seasons? O . O)

Xavier

I heard Dom move about the silent house, a part of me wondering what exactly he was doing, yet another part kind of had an idea; sometimes it was hard to tell whether I found Dom's slight OCD endearing or futile.
After a while, I felt the bed sink slightly under Dom's weight as the other man slid under the covers, and I jumped slightly when I felt Dom's fingers intertwine with mine. But although the gesture was so tender and gentle, it just made me feel like that much more of an ass. But I said nothing for a while, only squeezing Dom's hand back gratefully. "Night, Dom." I murmured quietly, feeling a little calmer than before. But no matter how relaxed I became, I just couldn't allow myself to slip into a painfilled sleep. Not even with Dom by my side.

(Faaaa. I hate making decisions. :/ So, in order to stall for time, what exactly do you mean if he's outside or inside his house? Like, he either finds Xavier stumbling around outside, or does Xavier ring his doorbell or something? Because those the two main ideas that I'm juggling with right now.)

[[deleted user]]

[ Sounds like some sort of caption you'd put on something. xD WAR BE GONE!! Yuuussh she will! By the way Damieka is loving our Loren/Maxime roleplay! I found one of our viewers!!! :D Haha shhhhh don't tell that i've discovered there are six seasons :o
And good moral!

***

Like, pretty much I was thinking that maybe Xavier would call Phillips and ask if they could talk or something(or phillps can find or xavier can ring his doorbell) and like if at that moment Phillips would be outside, then he'd offer Xavier to go get some coffee or something but if Xavier rang at his door, well he'd let Xavier come in and yeah. Just saying that both scenarios have different results. ^^
If they're outside, Phillips is most likely going to be more gentle because of people around but more like make him realize stuff(or try to).
But if they're in his house, things are more likely to get intense and Phillips is going to give him a real eye opener haha. xD Maybe not in the nicest way...

****

Care to skip to something? Haha ^^' ]

[(╯`▭´）╯︵ ǝɔnɒꓷ]

(Haha, sounds like something you'd find on a can of insect repellent. XP And how, may I ask, did you come across one of out stalk-I mean, 'viewers'? XP (Hi, Damieka! \(^ ^))
Don't worry, your secret's safe with me. X3 And danke. XD

Hm...For some reason, I kind of think the idea where Phillips gives Xavier an eye opener would prove to be the most interesting. I can just picture the insensity of it all. XD

And sure. Where to, do you think?)

[[deleted user]]

[ Exactly. :P Haha because I have a roleplay with her and she told me and I found it really awesome. xD Yeerrr welcome!

Yush! Well, that's the sad situation that has me with lots of feels already. T.T Haha yep!

Well...Xavier could have one of his nightmare wake up attacks in the middle of the night.
Weeeee could skip to all the feels already xD
Weeeee could flashback to when Xavier wasn't how he was now.
Weeeee I dunno ^^' ]

[(╯`▭´）╯︵ ǝɔnɒꓷ]

(Haha, that is awesome. That always makes me happy when somebody mentions that they like an rp I'm doing. XP

And oh noes! I always gravitate towards the sad feels! WHY DO I ALWAYS GRAVITATE TOWARDS THE SAD FEELS?! DX

Hmm...I actually was thinking of having Xavier have one of his nightmares, but I kind of like the idea of doing a flashback of when it was before he was deployed. Maybe we could rp the flashback for a while, and then maybe skip back to the present, where Xavier then is experiencing one of his nightmares?)

[[deleted user]]

[ Haha, me too. ^^

Welllll maybe not as sad as the other option but just ;_; I hope it opens Xavier's eyes XD

Hm, sounds good! Maybe we can do the same thing? Like, maybe Xavier wakes up in the middle of the night because of a nightmare but it's more harmless than everything and we can compare the difference to then and now? Or we can roleplay a significant part in their relationship? Like when they officially became a couple kind of thing? Their first kiss or something? ]

[(╯`▭´）╯︵ ǝɔnɒꓷ]

(Meeeh, I hope it does, too. I'm just preparing myself for the feels. :/

Hm...When you say Xavier wakes up from a nightmare, are you saying that it's just your everyday brand of nightmare? But I also like the idea of roleplaying their first kiss, or when they first become a couple, or even when Xavier is telling Dom his decision to enlist. Gaaah! So. Many. Ideaaas! DX)

[[deleted user]]

[ So sad T.T

Yeah, just an everyday nightmare. Welll we could roleplay their first kiss/becoming a couple? Like it could just be in the same situation ^^ AND THEN WE COULD ROLEPLAY THE NIGHTMARE!!
It's a combination! And I think we should flashback to when Xaiver tells Dom about the military when they're apart from each other after the climax? Like, just to stall the moment and add suspense until they do face each other and yeah??? ]

[(╯`▭´）╯︵ ǝɔnɒꓷ]

(:(

Oh, okay. Hm...I like the idea of roleplaying their first kiss/becoming a couple. Like one of them could have been playing hard to get and...and....Aww! I'm starting to get an adorable scene in my head! XD And yes. I like that idea. I like that idea a lot. O u O)

[[deleted user]]

[ TELL ME DAH SCENE WOMAN! ]

[(╯`▭´）╯︵ ǝɔnɒꓷ]

(Ahaha, it's not really full-fledged yet. But I was kind of thinking that Dom has been playing hard to get, ignoring Xavier's obvious attempts at flirting, and then Xavier happens to 'bump' into Dom at this park, and they could start walking and talking-well, Xavier's talking, Dom's walking-and Xavier could be jogging backwards next to Dom, and ends up tripping, and Dom tries to catch him, and he ends up going down with him, and...Yeah. That whole clichéd moment. Like I said, not completely full-fledged yet. ^ ^' (I also have a scene in my head where they're by a lake, and they somehow end up both falling into it, and Dom is all irritated and Xavier is laughing and...Yeah. Another cliché. X3)

[[deleted user]]

[ N'aawwww yeesss! Yes. Yes. Yes. I think...OMG HEAR ME OUT OKAY?
Okay so, I love the park idea and I think that's when they should have their first kiss (be it by accident or one of them just closes the distance after Dom's fallen on top of Xavier xD). And at the lake, like, it could be a few days later and Dom's been like trying t play off the kiss as if it never actually happened but then once again Xavier ends up slipping as they're talking (be it because they're walking by the rocks and they're kind of slippery) and Dom tries to catch him again but they both end up falling in and like you said, Xavier's laughing and Dom's irritated because he spent a lot of time doing his hair and picking out the outfit and then it could just all get cute and Xavier could just be like "be with me" and they kiss in the water and Dom stops being irritated and it's all fluffy and whatnot.

Yay? Nay? Add? Subtract? Add? :o ]

[(╯`▭´）╯︵ ǝɔnɒꓷ]

(Teehee. Yay. Yay, yay, yay! \(^ ^)/ I like the whole thing! I think that Dom should 'accidently' kiss Xavier when they fall, and then he gets all embarrassed and flees, and then, like you said, a few days later, he's by the lake, and Xavier could be bouncing around on the rocks trying to get Dom to admitt that they kissed, and then...Yeah. What you said all plays out into the most adorable and fluffy. Moment. Ever. XD)

[[deleted user]]

[ Gah, such happy feels <33 Haha yeah and then as he's bouncing around Xavier could be like "you totally kissed me" and then Dom would be like "shut up!" and just smnfkldsjgmjgmjgnma FEELS. OKAY HOW DO WE START THIS? WE MUST START THIS NOW. ]

[(╯`▭´）╯︵ ǝɔnɒꓷ]

(Haha, exactly! Xavier could act like such a child at times. XP And...Maybe we could start with Dom walking through the park with his nose in a book or something, so he's not paying attention to where Xavier's walking when he 'bumps' into him? AND THEN MAY THE FLIRTING AND EVASION BEGIN!)

[[deleted user]]

[ Haha I like how you say 'bumps'. YES OKAY LET ME FINISH MY LOREN/MAXIME(NEED TO FIND SHIP NAMES) AND I WILL POST HERE. ]

[(╯`▭´）╯︵ ǝɔnɒꓷ]

(Haha, it's true, though. (And I've been actually throwing around ship names for a while. So far, I've come up with Laxime, Maxren, or Lorime. I have too much time on my hands. XP))

[[deleted user]]

[ I like Laxime/Lorime or maybe Maxen...who knows! xD ]

[(╯`▭´）╯︵ ǝɔnɒꓷ]

(Ahaha! They're all good ship names! It's so hard to choose. XP)

[[deleted user]]

Dominique Blair Sanchez: I couldn't believe how nice it was outside today. I mean, it didn't get any nicer than this. Not only that, but I had a great book in my hand and my fourth apple of the day. I'd gone apple picking with my cousins a few days ago and I had way too many apples and so little time before they went bad, I've been eating them non-stop. Not only that but my apartment really smelled of apple pie.
I sighed, taking a bite of my apple. As of right now, I was sitting down in the grass but that was before the sudden thought of buying this book's sequel came to mind. Wasn't it for sale down at the bookshop? Didn't the sale end today? Crap! Decidedly, I got up and slowly began making my way down the gravel park path. Despite the urgency, I still walked a little more slowly because I couldn't stop reading. In fact, I was barely aware of anything other than the sweet taste of apple in my mouth and the rising climax of this precise part.
Who stopped reading when the book had reached its highest point in climax?

[[deleted user]]

[ When the time comes! We shall know xD I'll keep thinking. ]

[(╯`▭´）╯︵ ǝɔnɒꓷ]

(Haha! Soon... +Does that finger contemplation thing+)

Xavier

Such a beautiful day to be stalking people. At least, I think it was. Okay, I admit that I do feel like a bit of a stalker right now, but come on! I've been trying to catch this guy's attention for days now, an the dude's not making it easy on me. I had no choice but to result to stalk him a little, hoping to catch his attention in some way. Which is why I started grinning like the Chesire Cat when I saw him walking with a book in hand and an apple in his mouth.
Perfect.
He won't even seen me coming.
Peeling myself away from the tree I had been leaning against, I began strolling my way towards my target, directly in his path. A few moments later, I 'accidently' bumped into him. Maybe a little harder than I meant to, because I knocked him a little off-balance. I reached out instinctively, catching him by the shoulders in order to keep him from falling over. "Hey, sorry about that, man!" I said, grinning. "Didn't see you there!" My hands lingered on those broad shoulders of his before I let them drop down to my sides, slipping them into my pockets casually.
Okay, so maybe I did mean to bump into him that hard. Sue me.

[[deleted user]]

[ Like the stroking the invisible mustache? :o ]

Dominique Blair Sanchez: I had been just about to get to the best part when I suddenly the words got a whole lot closer to my face and in an instant, my book had slapped me and I was toppling over. Before I could think to catch myself, a pair of strong hands stabilized me and I looked up at the person with a flustered expression.
Until I realized who it was.
Okay, seriously?
I looked down at his hands to see if maybe he was holding something but no. I smiled politely and took the time to smooth my shirt down, trying not to get mad or anything. Didn't this guy catch a hint when it was thrown at him? Not that I wasn't interested per se, but I was too busy to actually conform to a relationship. "Don't worry about it, Xavier. It's not everyone who can pull off bumping into someone with nothing in their hands to give them a valid excuse." I said calmly before I brushed past him and continued walking, this time making sure I was a little more wary of my surroundings. "I'll see you around."
Funny how this guy popped up almost everywhere I went. What a small world.

[(╯`▭´）╯︵ ǝɔnɒꓷ]

(Nooo! I hate it when people do that! DX)

Xavier

I was just about to respond with a witty remark when Dominique just brushed on by. Frowning, I didn't bother turning around when I started to jog after him, quickly catching up to him. "Hey! I'll admitt and say that I'm fairly talented, but cut me some slack? Haven't you lost yourself in your surroundings." I protested, still trying to catch his attention. Man, did he like to play hard to get.
I let out a soft, almost exaggerated-sounding sigh. But then I grinned. "You said that you'll 'see me around'. Which means that you're looking for me. Am I right?" I asked with a wiggle of my brow, still grinning cheekily. Hey, Dominique was going to be a challenge.
And I loved challenges.