If I could only...

[Preston, Moderator]

If I could only get my boyfriend to pick up his clothes from the floor and solve world hunger I'd be happy.

[Roger]

If only I could persuade Preston not to invent any more goof-off threads to waste my time, just think how miserable I would be :)

[Rick]

If only I had the time to actually read Roger's books instead of buying them and have them sitting next to my bed begging me to crack them open and begin savoring their delicious narratives.

Sigh. Too many books, too little time.

[Roger]

If only Rick had the time to actually read my books… ah, if only…

[Rick]

If only I could finish my frelling thesis ... wait did did you see a white rabbit run by just now?

[Roger]

Yes, but it disappeared in Boyd's window…

[Lori S.]

May one snoop and ask what your thesis is Rick?

[Rick]

Lori wrote: "May one snoop and ask what your thesis is Rick?"

Title: "Being Late for Dinner: A Queer Reading of The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings."

I'm looking at how the non-traditional aspects (non-traditional for Shire folk and hobbits) of Bilbo and Frodo not only enabled them to be heroes but was a necessity.

[Roger]

Blimey!

[Rick]

Roger wrote: "Blimey!"

So it that for surprise, excitement or alarm?

[Roger]

Surprise, excitement, and…

[Rick]

... hold onto your hats kiddies - thesis is almost done and will be submitted to my advisor tomorrow.

I'm so excited. And I just can't hide it. I'm about to lose control ...

[anyone else remember the 1980s?]

[Lori S.]

Yay Rick!

Can I read it when it's done and ready? That sounds like a fascinating idea.

[Rick]

Lori wrote: "Yay Rick!

Can I read it when it's done and ready? That sounds like a fascinating idea."

Yeah, it's not my best writing (which I'm rather upset about, but that's another story...) but it's shaping up.

[Boyd, Hunk of hunky burning passion]

Rick wrote: "... hold onto your hats kiddies - thesis is almost done and will be submitted to my advisor tomorrow.

I'm so excited. And I just can't hide it. I'm about to lose control..."

Congratulations on such an important achievement~!
Happy for you :)

[Rick]

Thank you, although bear in mind that it is only a thesis not a dissertation.

[Boyd, Hunk of hunky burning passion]

It is my premise that the completion any interesting piece of writing achieved through hard work and much thought deserves celebration and congratulation as a fine accomplishment, although I have yet to prove my proposition.

[Roger]

Was that a Hypothesis, Boyd?

[Preston, Moderator]

I doubt it knowing Boyd his hypothesis is something more freeform like "I'm so excited. And I just can't hide it. I'm about to lose control…" is some kind of gay anthem from pre-history.

[Roger]

Or a homonym, perhaps?

(Gotta go shopping for food, or it's starvation tonight…)

[Preston, Moderator]

Boyd is not a homonym. He's a male homonympho. I thought foods shopping was done on Saturdays according to previous reports. I'm so confused. Boyd's going to kill me now.

[Roger]

This was an emergency! I forgot Thursday. How this happened I cannot explain, since to my knowledge, Thursdays have always been there. Anyway, Griffiths the Butcher and Roberts the Green grocer saved the day with lamb chops, courgettes (er, zucchini) and Jersey Royal potatoes. Tomorrow, Friday, is planned. Fridays always are: Rösti, fried free-range egg and Pié Angeloux.

Nymphs, when all is said and done, are only creatures who inhabit watery places, hence the Roman nymphaeum, anything from a drinking fountain to a giant Hadrianic water supply system at, such as Ziqua in Tunisia. With his curly bonce, neat musculature, and sweet disposition, I think Boyd makes a very nice nymph, maniac or not.

[Preston, Moderator]

Roger wrote: "Rösti, fried free-range egg and Pié Angeloux."

Pié Angeloux is she related to Maya Angelou?

[Roger]

I don't know. I just eat it… :)

[Boyd, Hunk of hunky burning passion]

Roger is avoiding responsibility again by not causing trouble. You have to break a few eggs to make an omelette.

Your favorite troublemaker, Boyd

[Roger]

I did break two eggs, but to fry them sunny side up to top the rösti, which came out nice and crispy. And then, since I was so lazy as not to check it properly, we consumed slabs of slightly running Le Pié d'Angloys with the remaining potato.

[Preston, Moderator]

Roger wrote: "I did break two eggs, but to fry them sunny side up to top the rösti, which came out nice and crispy. And then, since I was so lazy as not to check it properly, we consumed slabs of slightly runnin..."

Eggs, cheese…fried food. Have you had your cholesterol checked lately? Just asking out of concern for your health.

[Roger]

I know, I know, that meal happens perhaps twice a year! And yes, I have it checked every year, and it's been dropping since 2007 to hovering just below normal-average. < saintly smile >

[Boyd, Hunk of hunky burning passion]

Roger wrote: "I have it checked every year, and it's been dropping since 2007 to hovering just below normal-average. "

Eggscellent!

[Roger]

It is! It means I can now eat more "Eggs, cheese…fried food."

(but I won't, honest)

[Roger]

If only I could bring back David Frost. I guess you had to be 16 when he launched a TV programme that divided a nation along age lines. That Was The Week that Was was revolutionary and re-introduced Brits to clever, cruel, pointed political satire for the first time since… probably Hogarth. I think N.R.I.P. is more suitable—Never Rest In Peace, David, keep shaking the great and mighty from beyond your grave.

[Preston, Moderator]

For those of you unfamiliar with David Frost here is a clip from a CNN video "Remembering Sir David Frost."

http://www.cnn.com/video/data/2.0/vid...

[Roger]

Odd, indeed, he should have chosen Bush Snr. as a great leader, but I guess he had his reasons. I like better to think of the sharp, arrogant, snarky, sneering presenter of That Was The Week That Was. Having your parents dislike it, and utterly loathe Frost, was what made it exciting to young (rebellious) teenagers.

[Preston, Moderator]

I've been watching a few episodes of That Was The Week That Was also known as TWTWTW or TW3 on You Tube. Here is one from 1963 that includes the news that Jackie Kennedy was going to have a baby. I guess that would have been Caroline since John-John was born in 1960 (died 1999.) The link is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS8ac4...

[Roger]

To us "kids" it was simply TW3

[Grace]

If only I could get to the number 5 when counting

[Preston, Moderator]

Grace wrote: "If only I could get to the number 5 when counting"

Unless you are an amputee use your other hand too cuz you got another five fingers on that other hand—hopefully. >grin< Thank you for sharing your numerically challenged goal with us :-)

[Boyd, Hunk of hunky burning passion]

If only I could add 1 + 1 without a calculator.

[Roger]

A gross = a dozen dozen, or 144 somethings
A ream = 480 identical somethings (except 'they' now made it 500)
.25 of a ream = 120 identical somethings…

which is odd when you consider a 'small gross' aka a 'great hundred' = ten dozen somethings, which is the same as .25 of a ream: 120

[Preston, Moderator]

Roger wrote: "A gross = a dozen dozen, or 144 somethings
A ream = 480 identical somethings (except 'they' now made it 500)
.25 of a ream = 120 identical somethings…"

Someone should ream out those standards people for acting gross.

[Eric]

Preston wrote: "Roger wrote: "A gross = a dozen dozen, or 144 somethings
A ream = 480 identical somethings (except 'they' now made it 500)
.25 of a ream = 120 identical somethings…"

Someone should ream out those ..."

That's disgusting, Preston. Did you have to work on that one or did it just come spewing up out of you all on its own?

>snicker<

Eric

[Lori S.]

facepalm

[Monika]

[Eric]

I'm sure Monika and Lori are saying something terribly clever, or cleverly terrible, or something.

I just have no idea what.

>sigh<

Eric

[Monika]

Hmmm....maybe Eric but I'll never tell.

[Preston, Moderator]

Eric Alan wrote: "I'm sure Monika and Lori are saying something terribly clever, or cleverly terrible, or something.

I just have no idea what.

>sigh<

Eric"

From Wikipedia:

A facepalm (sometimes also face-palm or face palm) is the physical gesture of placing one's hand flat across one's face or lowering one's face into one's hand or hands. The gesture is found in many cultures as a display of frustration, disappointment, embarrassment,[1] shock, surprise or sarcasm.[2]
According to Macmillan Dictionary, the word "facepalm" first appeared around 2006,[1] though another source has a earliest citation of 2001.[3]

[Monika]

Preston wrote: "Eric Alan wrote: "I'm sure Monika and Lori are saying something terribly clever, or cleverly terrible, or something.

I just have no idea what.

>sigh<

Eric"

From Wikipedia:

A facepalm (sometime..."

Thank you Preston, that was very informative and your point would be?

So this is the "If only I could" thread I need to figure out how to put that in my reply and make it sound right. Hmmmm.....*thinking*

[Preston, Moderator]

Monika wrote: "Thank you Preston, that was very informative and your point would be?"

My point is in response to Eric's message 44. I responded to him that Lori's message 42 "facepalm" was a display of frustration, disappointment, embarrassment, shock, surprise or sarcasm in response to one of these messages below, quite possibly a reaction to message 40.


message 39: by Roger Sep 07, 2013 12:03am
A gross = a dozen dozen, or 144 somethings
A ream = 480 identical somethings (except 'they' now made it 500)
.25 of a ream = 120 identical somethings…

which is odd when you consider a 'small gross' aka a 'great hundred' = ten dozen somethings, which is the same as .25 of a ream: 120

message 40: by Preston, Co-moderator Sep 07, 2013 04:21pm
Roger wrote: "A gross = a dozen dozen, or 144 somethings
A ream = 480 identical somethings (except 'they' now made it 500)
.25 of a ream = 120 identical somethings…"

Someone should ream out those standards people for acting gross.

message 41: by Eric Alan Sep 07, 2013 04:53pm
Preston wrote: "Roger wrote: "A gross = a dozen dozen, or 144 somethings
A ream = 480 identical somethings (except 'they' now made it 500)
.25 of a ream = 120 identical somethings…"

Someone should ream out those ..."

That's disgusting, Preston. Did you have to work on that one or did it just come spewing up out of you all on its own?

>snicker<

Eric


message 42: by Lori Sep 10, 2013 10:50am
facepalm

[Monika]

*ROFL* Holy Crap Preston I got all that. I was being my sarcastic, snarky self!

[Preston, Moderator]

Monika wrote: "*ROFL* Holy Crap Preston I got all that. I was being my sarcastic, snarky self!"

Oh. Quite. How amusing.