The Story That Ends & Begins Again (no word limit)

[Averin]

"How about a Riviera Adjustable, it comes with a personal demonstration from Ron Popeal

[Macky]

Honaaay it could be demonstrated by her her royal Gaganess and it still wouldnt be good enough for this sweet Bobos banging bodaay. Slap me sideways and honk my conk but you and me ain't happening, snookie"

[Averin]

"All right," sniffed Edward, "I'll see what Heinrich has got up to."

[[deleted user]]

And Bobo, another unfortunate parody of the supposed typical effeminate gay man which perpetuates negative stereotypes, was removed from the story with the hope that people will have more respect than to place woman's clothing on every gay man and give them speech like "fabulousness dahhhhhling" which is offensive and degrading.

[[deleted user]]

Additionally with offensive stereotyping of Edward such as "Edward squatted (because kneeling would scrape those too fab shoes) " Edward was beat up by gay bashing skinheads who crushed his skull until the story was filled with nothing but blood and his brain's grey matter AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

[[deleted user]]

Once upon a time...

[Lori S.]

the great books of time opened up and out stepped a person who's name had been lost, but would soon be known again ...

[Macky]

Lucas wrote: "And Bobo, another unfortunate parody of the supposed typical effeminate gay man which perpetuates negative stereotypes, was removed from the story with the hope that people will have more respect t..."

Twas I and I alone did make him say Fabulous Dahhhhling so I humbly ( and sincerley ) apologise and mourn his and Edwards gloopy demise!
Anyhoo on with the new story.....

It was Loopy Skyrunner, Bedi knight and brother to Prince Lennyai Orgasma
Who had been kidnapped by Pizza the Hut......

[Roger]

Unfortunate, since all knew Loopy loathed pizza, which brought him out in unsightly spots like a Four Seasons with extra trimmings and an Aves flight saber.

[Macky]

So Loopy decided to leave his bro' at Pizza the Hut till he found help! He went off in search of Grand Master Blaster Yodel Of the Bouncy Bedi council...

[Roger]

waving his flight saber in ever widening circles until he took off and rose up into the air where he spotted Yodel afar.

[Roger]

After looping the loop, Loopy landed and lowly leaned to learned Yodel. "Young Bedi night," Yodel yodelled, "no need to kneel…"

[Macky]

"Hee hoo yodel Ley" cried Yodel the secret greeting between Bedi nights! " "come what for here you?" " yodel Ley hee hoo " answered Loopy proving he was a true Bouncy Bedi night......

[[deleted user]]

"Greetings Yodel, may the Farce be with you" said Loopy, head bowed but able to see all in 360 degrees of Bedi night eyesight.

[[deleted user]]

"I need your help of great Master Yodel. My beloved brother Prince Lennyai Orgasma has been kidnapped by Pizza the Hut."

[Roger]

"And you know," Loopy added furtively, "you can help yourself to as much salad as you can carry, which will overload Orgasma with salad cream and other juices."

[[deleted user]]

Which of course was a clue from the amazing presence of the Farce and so Loopy sped off in his jedi jungle jumper on the way to the HQ of the notorious salad bar smugglers who stole and bartered greens and salad cream and other juices.

[Lori S.]

Herbalius Greengrocer Ve'etab'lis (Herbi for short) stood over the stolen goodies of a healthy, nutritious and high fiber diet and laughed evilly. The condiments were a bonus and he was proud of his minions who wore orange peel helmets, copying Herbi's far more stylish helmet of green bell pepper.

[Macky]

Loopy was mesmerised by Herbi's strangely erotic fruits and vegetables that reminded him of certain body parts that he just couldn't quite put a name too , Hmmmm? What did that strawberry remind him of.....

[Roger]

…a salacious strawberry, a manlicious mango or a munchy mushroom-head, a come-hither cucumber, a pithy potato, or perhaps a Chinese Gooseberry from New Zealand. It was all to much for Herbalius Greengrocer Ve'etab'lis (Herbi for short). He keeled over…

[[deleted user]]

"It's a clue!" shouted Loopy shoutingly. "My brother in a keel. But the keel of which boat? Would my beloved brother Prince Lennyai Orgasma it be in Herbi's the salad smuggle's boat or Jabba the the Pizza Hut's luxury yacht?

[Macky]

Loopy felt that finally the Farce was with him! It was obviously Jabba the Pizza Huts luxury yacht, probably somewhere near the salad bar!!! I must find Hands " all over " soslow he'll fly me there.....

[Roger]

In the Bulimic Flagon, so slow the Einsteinian Universe has been twice around the block by the time Hands Soslow can reach Ptargh the rice planet.

[Lori S.]

Hands Soslow's RoachCoach ® was a big lumbering bus, full of noisome products of indeterminate nature, which if eaten had the equal possibility of curing some intergalactic bug or killing the customer. This did not concern Hands, who'd rather spend his time daydreaming about the cute humanoid he saw two standard days before. When the alarm went off on the console, Hands fell off his cruising chair and cursed under his breath.

[Macky]

Chewmybaccy the woohoo-Kie, his constant hairy companion rushed over and growling picked Handsoff (as he called him) or as he would say it in Woohoo-Ki:
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiioooooooooki!
Off the dusty floor of the RoachCoach with the little R in the circle and dusted him down.

[[deleted user]]

Suddenly the Farce open up and focused on Macky giving her the insight to just copy and paste the ® into her messages.

[Roger]

Or as her constant Brit companion might say (and assuming Macky has a Mac because I don't know how a gas-operated PC works), simply type "alt-r". Same doesn't apply to ™, cos typing "alt-t" produces †, which dagger would be really useful to produce as if from nowhere to slip down Chewmybaccy's throat to get the walking carpet out the way.

[Macky]

Macky contemplated the advice and thanked bedi night Lucas and bedi night Roger the Brit, two high priests of the Farce for their mystic advice. Unfortunately she was held prisoner by the padd of the i, a fruity tablet that restricted her using the button of the alt but would, she realised, allow the ancient farce finger magic of " copy and paste'. This could be of great importance to Loopy, Hands and Chewmybaccy in their quest to save Prince Lennyai Orgasma.....

[Roger]

MEANWHILE, the sadly forgotten Edward Box, riding the Coast Starlight xPress on his eTicket discovered to his horror he'd mislaid it. At that moment Ben Dover and his twin Phil McCrack, the inspectors held out imperious hands.

[Macky]

Edward was mortified and had visions of having to work for his fare on the Coast Starlight xPress. But he had no skills so what could he offer Ben and Phil that would cover the extortionate amount of the eTicket cost........

[Lori S.]

So they put him to work washing dishes in the dining car, the worst place to work thanks in part to the Vogrons who made an unscheduled appearance spouting off ear bleeding poetry of the worst sort.

[[deleted user]]

Edward continued to channel Douglas Adams allowing the infinite improbability drive to fill his pockets to overflowing with a myriad of Coast Starlight xPress eTickets and before you could say dishpan hands he was back in his seat.

[Macky]

And flying off to the pleasure planet " Ooohyessi " known for its famous orgasmic water pools of delight,its red with a touch of bluey green light district and androgenous pleasure droids who changed gender at the push of a strategically placed button.....

[[deleted user]]

Unfortunately the strategically placed but ill-engineered buttons were very sensitive to touch and movement so the partners of the gender changing pleasure droids ending up with bedmates who kept switching sexes every 5 seconds.

[Macky]

This was causing havoc on the planet which was losing a lot of Nadds, its monetary unit ( a strange looking coin, spherical and slightly squishy ) Because of the duff droids Edwards robotics training was needed desperately!

[[deleted user]]

"My robotics' training was needed desperately" Edward thought reaching for his lab coat but grabbing a robe instead. It was a very nice white terry O'So'Soft™ "Not Stolen-From-A-Hotel©" robe though so ignoring the wolf whistles and "ooo la la's" from the laboratory staff in the Institute for Robitics And Life-Sized Blow Up Dolls (IFRALSBUD) he went into the break room and sipped some tea (milk with sugar) in a Limoges cup.

Was needed. Past tense. Edward thought over the message he though he received, "Because of the duff droids Edwards robotics training was needed desperately!" "So why was and not is he pondered."

Finally he said, "What's past is passed." and returned to his office where several men and women wearing only white terry O'So'Soft™ "Not Stolen-From-A-Hotel©" robes continued the wolf whistles and "ooo la la's" they had begun ever since seeing Edward walking down the hall of the IFRALSBUD wearing his robe.

[Macky]

Edward preened in his white terry O'So'Soft™ "Not Stolen-From-A-Hotel©" robe as the people around him wolf whistled with glee with the sort of Wolfy enthusiasm needed ( or is it needs? Edward pondered??? ) to really whistle like a wolf. Do wolfs whistle? This was another ponder that madeEdward stop and think. Hmmmm these ponderings were stopping him from getting to the IFRALSBUD lab. Could someone have put Ponder-Juice in his tea (milk with sugar) he had sipped earlier in a Limoges cup? Oh no I'm pondering again... It must be! Someone is trying to scupper my attempts to save the droids ... He pondered! And its working!!!!!!

[Preston, Moderator]

"What I need is some relaxation." thought Edward and he called for a pleasure droid to get him very excited and then very, very relaxed.

[Preston, Moderator]

He couldn't decide what gender to use so he set the droid on auto and it went through all three genders. He felt very relaxed and pleased the droids were working so well.

[Preston, Moderator]

Yes sirree bob, he done did a bang up job of fixing those mean fikers so pleased with his engineering success he left the broken droids and went home see his mama. "Mamna" he said.

[Roger]

And Edward's mama treated her son to a crooked little smile and said, "Your friend Bob('s your uncle), he's gone out to play rickety jicket with his friend Cornelius."

[Preston, Moderator]

And they all lived Happily Ever After

[Preston, Moderator]

Once upon a time…

[Roger]

Bartholomew Burgiss-Benthenham ("BeeB" to his friends) sighed and muttered under his lozenge-scented breath: "Here we go again'.

[Preston, Moderator]

and Bartholomew Burgiss-Benthenham began reading from his favorite book, The Beastly Beatitudes of Balthazar B but alas came the interruption of the newsboy shoutring the headline "Wrong Information is Being Given Out at Princeton: The Chronicle of One of the Strangest Stories Ever to Be Rumoured about Around New York."

[Roger]

Bart BeeB dashed across the street to grab a copy, but it was the secondary story caught his eyes: The Destinies of Darcy Dancer and then he flipped to Page Three, and the well-built figure of The Lady Who Liked Clean Restrooms took his fancy.

[Preston, Moderator]

BeeB took a job at the BBC where they called him The Ginger Man because of his red hair.

[Roger]

And the Ginger Man (who bemoaned the lack of a foreskin for while cleaner provided less frisson [forgtten in which JP Donleavey that was mentioned, but probably BBBB]) was happy to be involved in the making of Monty Python'd Flying Cir…cus

[Preston, Moderator]

…ism.

[Preston, Moderator]

Beeb filming Don's Levee