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Writers H-M > Kyle's Writings

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message 1: by Kyle (new)

Kyle Borland (kgborland) I have two stories that I would like some feedback on :D. I want to know if either of them sound good enough to where I should continue them.

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/4...

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/3...


message 2: by Daisy (new)

Daisy | 1803 comments




good job I am about to click on your link!!!


message 3: by Kyle (new)

Kyle Borland (kgborland) Thanks :)


message 4: by Kyle (new)

Kyle Borland (kgborland) Update :D

Alori: http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/3...

-on chapter 2 please bear with me, I typed it really fast and wrote it fast so the grammar is bad and the dialogue and descriptions pretty vague but besides that..lol..you'll get the idea I was going for I hope :D-

MPIU - http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/4...

-Same thing as the other one, hope yall enjoy :D


message 6: by Kyle (new)

Kyle Borland (kgborland) Update on Alori :)

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/3...

And a short story I wrote for School :)

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/4...


message 7: by [deleted user] (new)

Good job with all of this writing, Kyle! I need to catch up! Well, I did write yesterday but it probably wasn't enough....


message 8: by Kyle (new)

Kyle Borland (kgborland) Thanks :)

Though, this isn't from everyday its just when I have time and then I throw it on GR to catch up :P

I'm gonna try and have another chapter of Alori up tonight :D


message 10: by Milinkalap (new)

Milinkalap Awesome stuff you've got going :)


message 11: by Kyle (new)

Kyle Borland (kgborland) Thanks :)

Oh yeah, heres the beginning to a story I'm writing in english. Unfortunately I pulled Fantasy-romance out of the hat so heres my first shot at something interesting :P

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/4...


message 12: by Kyle (new)


message 13: by Kyle (new)

Kyle Borland (kgborland) . . . . . . . .I guess I'll stick to posting alori..........


message 14: by Wendy (new)

Wendy (wendyswore) Hey Kyle- Why were you dissapointed with Angels and Demons? what was a matter with it? (I usually buy movies after they come out on video rather than going to the theater -it's cheaper with a big family like ours)


message 15: by Kyle (new)

Kyle Borland (kgborland) Have you read the book?


message 16: by Kyle (new)

Kyle Borland (kgborland) Have you read the book?


message 17: by Wendy (new)

Wendy (wendyswore) Yes I read it- I really liked it- but boy does he like to kill people off in creepy ways! I also liked his other book before that one... what was it- Deception Point, I think.


message 18: by Kyle (new)

Kyle Borland (kgborland) Yeah. Did you read the Da Vinci Code? You should its awesome and he has another book coming out in september about Robert Langdon called THE LOST SYMBOL.

But yeah the book is amazing but they seriously messed it up like...Langdon is directly contacted by the vatican and never goes to the lab in Geneva. The guy in the wheelchair isn't even in the story and the guy that was murdered wasn't Professor Vetra's father. And a bunch of other stuff :(


message 19: by Wendy (new)

Wendy (wendyswore) Hmm- It's been 5+ years since I read it, so maybe I'll wait and see the movie (in ignorant bliss) and then re-read the book and see how bad it was changed. I think movies are never as good as the books- but sometimes they get close.

And yep- I've read Da Vinci Code-I liked that too. :)


message 20: by Kyle (new)

Kyle Borland (kgborland) I can't wait for the third one :D

Its going to be so awesome :)


message 21: by Just Plain Ray (new)

Just Plain Ray (Ray_of_Sunshine) | 2557 comments Oh, I'm reading Angels+Demons now, and its really good (xcept for some parts that are...age-inappropriate) but I'm near the end and loving it :D

Wow, they don't have Max Kohler? He's a pretty essential part of the story in the beginning
And so is the murder of Vittoria's father, so I don't know why they wouldn't put that in the movie :\

I'm still going to watch it though after I've finished the book ^^


message 22: by Kyle (new)

Kyle Borland (kgborland) Well the murder is in it but he's just not related to Vittoria.

I was so mad when Kohler wasn't in it :(


message 23: by Just Plain Ray (new)

Just Plain Ray (Ray_of_Sunshine) | 2557 comments Yeah, Kohler is awesome XP


message 24: by Kyle (new)

Kyle Borland (kgborland) I should really being writing right now...but I'm too lazy :D

I have it on paper but I'm too lazy to type them :)


message 25: by Kyle (new)

Kyle Borland (kgborland) http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/4...

Next chapter of siren :D

By the way this story is sort of more explicit, like its romance so its going to mention sex just wanted to let you knw :D


message 26: by Marley (new)

Marley (Marleyme95) | 977 comments Well, it is you Kyle, I'd already assumed that, lol. Don't be lazy...wow, that makes me sound like a hypocrite!


message 27: by Kyle (new)

Kyle Borland (kgborland) lol :P


message 28: by Kyle (new)


message 30: by Kyle (new)

Kyle Borland (kgborland) http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/4...

Its a new story, opinions helpful :D


message 31: by Renee (new)

Renee (rjmiller) there are a few grammatical things you'll need to look at. Phrasing, etc. Also a few times you switched your pov. You began in first person (I) and switched now and then to "he". I'm assuming this is a rough rough draft so you can fix along the way.
It's a good start though. I'll give an opinion when there is more story. I'm assuming the narrator is Jace. I read quickly, so that might have been pointed out. Maybe a little bit of a back-story as you continue would be a good idea. ie) How long has he known Sara, have they dated, does she know how he feels, etc. Why are they going on a trip together, alone? Age?


message 32: by Kyle (last edited Jun 02, 2009 11:10AM) (new)

Kyle Borland (kgborland) I guess I can do all that in chapter two :D long plane ride for Jace to just ramble on. :)

Oh I see where you thought I changed POV, that was the guy who was late for his plane. I add like, 'said the man' or somethign like that :D


message 33: by Kyle (new)

Kyle Borland (kgborland) Thanks :D

Yeah, I don't pay much attention to Write in 2009 because I don't get many comments here so I stuck to WWW and other groups :P


message 34: by [deleted user] (new)

lolz


message 35: by Kyle (new)

Kyle Borland (kgborland) lol posted that here :D

I haven't been writing, thats why I haven't added anything :P My ideas/muse are gone for now. Though I'm sure if I sat down and tried I would think of something but I've been to excited about my trip this thursday to sit still :P

I'll try to have something new up in the next two days :D


message 36: by Michelle (new)

Michelle (michellerobins) well why would you let your muse abandon you like that? that gives them ideas, you know, and pretty soon theyre going to be running around with other writers and helping them instead of you... thats not good...


message 37: by Renee (new)

Renee (rjmiller) Yes Michelle is right Kyle. You need to keep a handle on those muses or they just run wild. I thought I saw yours over in WWW. It's been wreaking havoc over there. You better go get it.


message 38: by Marley (new)

Marley (Marleyme95) | 977 comments Haha, yeah, do what Mimi does and lock them in the closet...


message 39: by Michelle (new)

Michelle (michellerobins) hee hee hee...


message 40: by Renee (new)

Renee (rjmiller) Mine is crate trained. It never leaves the crate unless i'm home. It's happy there, I put a nice soft pillow and some good books.


message 41: by Marley (new)

Marley (Marleyme95) | 977 comments She won't even let you get near them...I swear, the girl pulls a knife if you touch the door, or foot your feet on her bed, which is such a stupid rule....well, not a knife, more like scissors.


message 42: by Renee (last edited Jun 15, 2009 10:35AM) (new)

Renee (rjmiller) wow, that's some craziness there. i don't like feet on my bed either. Feet are gross.


message 43: by Michelle (new)

Michelle (michellerobins) XD craziness, thats me. but i have my scissors safely hidden in my purse; and my closet's a mess. i swear, if you open the door, shoes will come flying out. and i dont even know where the shoes came from...


message 44: by Marley (new)

Marley (Marleyme95) | 977 comments OMG, your feet are close to my size. I WANT THEM!


message 45: by Michelle (new)

Michelle (michellerobins) eh *shrug* remind me to give some to you for your bday


message 46: by Marley (new)

Marley (Marleyme95) | 977 comments I LOVE YOU MIMI!!! <3<3<3 Almost a month...plus Jess, damn, does she do parties or whatever?


message 47: by Michelle (new)

Michelle (michellerobins) idk probably


message 48: by Marley (new)

Marley (Marleyme95) | 977 comments Well, you know her better!


message 49: by Michelle (new)

Michelle (michellerobins) *shrug*


message 50: by Marley (new)

Marley (Marleyme95) | 977 comments I loved how specific that was. Does she usually do parties? You are so.....errr


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