My Experience and Questions

[Mark]

Wow that was a long post! I cant answer the whole thing right now, but first let me say this is exactly what I created this group for.

I. promise I will sign back on later with a longer reply for you.

[Mark]

OK...getting a diagnosis can be very scary for some and very liberating for others. My wife wasn't diagnosed until 2 years ago. Once she did, she ran an entire range of emotions from relief, to shock, to anger to depression and finally back to relief again. It was a shock to her of course...but eventually she was glad to finally have an answer...a reason...for why she was the way she was...each person is different, as is their reaction.

As far as making it harder to find work, it is not mandatory for anyone to reveal to a prospective employer that they are on the autism spectrum whether it's diagnosed or not. Unless he is planning on claiming autism as a disability which autism does technically fall under. If he has found ways to handle the different presentations of his autism, then he knows whether or not he should do that. I have ADD and I felt it was necessary at the time to seek a diagnosis because my wife also has ADD and was given Adderrall and I saw how good she was doing on it, so I wanted to give it a try and needed to be diagnosed first. Each person is different again.

My wife is an Aspie...and we have had our share of difficulties because of it. I have adult ADD and it's been interesting seeing the two of us clash in different areas. ESPECIALLY house work!

I've found some great informative books and I'm going to list them in a second. They are easy reads and they are simple reads not filled with a lot of technical terms which will make your eyes glaze over. Here they are:

Aspergirls-Rudy Simone - Describes women with Asperger's Syndrome. VERY helpful!

Twirling Naked In the Streets and No One Noticed - Jeannie Davide-Rivera. This actually is my wife's book which gives a really good glimpse into the inner workings of the Aspie mind.

The Journal of Best Practices-David Finch-Tells the story of a man who discovers he has Asperger's and the lengths he went through to repair the damage done to his marriage because of it. Autism CAN be a very difficult thing for a non autistic and an autistic couple to deal with. I just started reading this myself...

That's a good start for the reading.

As to whether or not an official diagnosis will make it harder to get insurance, I can't really tell you. I have good insurance through my job, and my wife and kids are covered under it..my wife's diagnosis didn't complicate our coverage at all..but I understand that may not be the case for everyone.

Be encouraged though! Your live's are not over and there is hope for the future. And most importantly YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! There is a whole world full of people out there like the two of you. Who have gone through the things you've gone through.

If you blog at all, start looking for blogs by people also on the spectrum and their partners as well. My wife's blog Aspie Writer can be informative and helpful. My blog on wordpress.com is named My Aspie Wife and I blog about being the NT (Nuero-Typical) partner of an Aspie.

There are resources out there. Also feel free to keep asking questions here. I hope this reply helped you some.

[Mark]

please keep me posted and again if I can answer any other questions please don't hesitate to ask.

[Mark]

I'm sorry you guys are going through all that. I. think you may have to address the logistics of the situation at least. If he's not ready to get back ina car, you may want to agree to let him stay at a friends house until exams are over.

Panic attacks are a horrible thing. And you need to remember that you are not the cause of them and mot beat yourself up over them.

I would bring up the logistics first and if hes ready to go into talking about the panic attacks then start doing so gently. Sometimes the person having the attacks can be made to have anothernone just by remembering them or trying to convey to someone else how they feel.