Why go to all the trouble?

[Jessica]

It's been years since I read this book, but my husband said something that has always stuck with me: why make the goblet of fire a portkey when it's going to require getting Harry into the competition and fixing it so he gets all the way through and gets to the goblet first? If you want to make a portkey you know he'll touch, why not do it to his toothbrush or something? His broom? A golden snitch? Getting Harry into the tournament sounds like a really bad idea, in fact, if you need Harry alive so you can use his blood to make yourself a new body; he could die in the tournament.

Thoughts?

[Line]

Well, she needed to get a book written - That's why...

I know that's a little synical (don't know how to spell it, sorry), but I believe that's why...

As you say, there would have been easier ways to accomnplish the same goal...

[Jeni]

Because a grown man (Barty Crouch, Jr. disguised as Mad-Eye Moody) would have no cause to be rooting around in Harry's toiletries, for one thing. For another, I was very pleasantly surprised when the Goblet turned out Harry's name as a fourth champion and then again when it was a portkey. I thought it was brilliant.

Rig the Goblet to turn out a fourth name, have the Goblet be examined and found safe then put away, then make it a portkey when everyone thinks it's safe.

Harry's watched really closely at school because he is so vital to the war against Voldemort. I doubt Mad Eye or anyone would be allowed to traipse around in Harry's room without being noticed.

An additional note: Portkeys are set for a certain time and duration, then they expire. Remember the Order members missing their portkeys after escorting Harry?

If Harry decides to brush his teeth AFTER breakfast one day, or skip his evening brush, the whole thing is moot.

Also, it occurs to me that the important part of making the Goblet the portkey was because it would be deep in the maze out of view of anyone else. It's only dumb luck that anyone else was there. His broom, snitch, or toothbrush would be too public.

[Julian]

rule of drama

Or maybe Barty had to be extremely sneaky because of Dumbledore, I mean, even Voldemort was scared of him.

[Cara]

The goblet was the only thing he could be sure HARRY would touch. Anything else could have actually been touched by Ron or someone. Also, how would he get someone to do it? What cause would ANYONE have to sneak into Harry's dormitory?

[Brittney]

Honestly, I think this could be said about pretty much every book. Why go through the trouble of doing this and this when you could have just done this? Because it wouldn't make for an exciting book, that's why.

[[deleted user]]

Because the book would be very dull, that's why. Who would want to read Harry Potter and the Toothbrush of Doom.

Actually...

[[deleted user]]

I KNOW WHY!

Well, if one lovely morning Harry vanishes from the bathroom, then returns, people are going to know it's OBVIOUS something happened, and that someone made the toothbrush a Portkey. There would be witnesses of Harry leaving, and the point is- Harry's story would be believable. If he vanishes in the middle of a maze, with no witnesses but a person who DIES, then sure- why not think he's lying? It had to be somewhere where he would be alone. The TriWizard Tournament fitted in.

[[deleted user]]

EXACTLY, Ashleigh. Thank you for that.

*gives Ashleigh burnt brownie*

[Kristen]

Everything Jeni said.

Plus, only Gryfyndors had access to the area where Harry's stuff was. Mad Eye/Barty Jr wouldn't have had the password. Besides what possible reason could he have to even be there? I doubt there's a time when the rooms are completely empty. And even if there was, the lady in the painting could have told on him, if she let him in at all. He couldn't risk appearing to act out of character and blow his cover.

Also, timing. As already mentioned portkeys are specific, so by making Harry win the tournament, he could guarantee that Harry would touch the goblet at the exact time he needed him to, give or take a half hour or so.
Even assuming he could get a hold of Harry's toothbrush or whatever, he couldn't be sure he would touch it at all, let alone when he needed him to - they wouldn't have been ready for him to just pop in any time. And he couldn't be sure someone else wouldn't touch whatever it was.

Given that it was during the tournament, in the middle of the maze, Harry was completely isolated from everyone including Dumbledore, so it gave them the time they needed to do the spell. If Harry suddenly went missing any other time, Dumbledore would have tracked him down and probably ruined everything for Voldemort.

[[deleted user]]

Also it wasn't the goblet it was the triwizard cup but same difference *shrugs*

[Samantha The Escapist]

The only argument in favor of the Cup Portkey that makes any sense to me is timing.

I'm with the OP's husband on this. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE these books and I loved reading this one, but the reasoning behind the plot is flimsier than a stage setting in a junior highschool play.

People are taking this entirely too literally, OP obviously wasn't saying that a toothbrush of doom is the ONLY option. There are countless possible items or situations that could have been contrived this way, Moody was alone with Harry a number of times and as we saw near the end of the book it clearly wasn't a priority for him to keep his cover once the Dark Lord was back.

I realize this could only have happened off of school property given that magic doesn't work (hence the reason it happened in the maze and, interestingly, not something anyone pointed out yet - it's another reason the toothbrush of doom would have done nothing) but it seems to me that Moody could have pulled this off with less effort at just about any time with just about any item. Hogsmeade would have been an ideal time.

Anything else he could have done would certainly be no more convoluted than dropping numerous hints and manipulating several people and situations just to get Harry through the three stages of competition to the final payoff. Moreover the plot to use Krum as a tool to keep anyone else from reaching the cup first is especially messy. Moody took lots of risky moves and Krum is just as famous as Harry, just as watched, yet he took the risk here - chancing being discovered before he completed his task - as yet another step towards getting to Harry.

It would have been prudent to make it fast and simple and earlier in the school year without so many risks of being discovered.

But yes, that would have made for a rather drab book.

[Ciara]

Here are a few I came up with:

1) There has to be a good story.

2) Voldemort probably wanted Barty Crouch Jr. to prove himself, therefore giving him the task of getting Harry through.

3) Voldmeort probably also wanted to rough Harry up a bit, to make him feel pain, before he went near him. He knew Barty (Moody) wouldn't let him get killed, but still wanted Harry to suffer.

I thought the plot was brilliant and very well thought out.

[Jeni]

Okay, sorry--not Goblet (though enchanting the Goblet to spit out Harry's name was no small feat), but Triwizard Cup should have been used in my previous comment. Everything still remains the same. (Got excited about the question!)

Isolation is the key as someone above said. Any other time, at any given time, Harry is with someone. Even in Hogsmeade, he's with Ron and Hermione most of the time and there are too many people that would witness him poofing suddenly.

At school, the same thing. He's always involved in group activities, sleeping in a dorm, eating in a crowded lunch room, or in class with others (even in detention, a teacher would be suspicious if he picked up his quill and poofed).

By making the Triwizard Cup the portkey in the maze, it ensured three things: it was expected to take a long time (that's what mazes are like); it would have Harry alone; and the other players could be manipulated individually to fail, making sure Harry got to the Cup. He could be gone an indeterminate amount of time and nobody would question that absence.

[Samantha The Escapist]

Jeni wrote: "Okay, sorry--not Goblet (though enchanting the Goblet to spit out Harry's name was no small feat), but Triwizard Cup should have been used in my previous comment. Everything still remains the same..."

Jeni I actually agree that the cup is the ideal excuse to get him alone for a long time before anyone comes looking for him, but it just seems to me that all the events leading up to it, all the things that had to go perfectly, weren't worth the risk, even for such an ideal circumstance.

I mean, I see your point, absolutely, but just think for a second, what if the dragon just ate Harry or burnt him to a crisp? No body for Voldemort. Or what if Harry DID drown in the lake? Yes, the cup is perfect, but Voldemort is utterly and irrevocably screwed if Harry doesn't make it to that graveyard.

Another thing to point out actually is that a much safer route may have been to take Harry's blood alone and get it to Voldemort - get the kid at a later time but for now get Voldemort's body bad.

But I suppose a lot of stories fall apart just a touch when you really start to think about the villain's motive and method since it's almost always riddled with plot devices.

[[deleted user]]

Jeni wrote: "Because a grown man (Barty Crouch, Jr. disguised as Mad-Eye Moody) would have no cause to be rooting around in Harry's toiletries, for one thing. For another, I was very pleasantly surprised when ..."
Yes but they could have used Pollegies(idk how to spell it) potion and make themselves look like Ron and he could have gone through Harry's stuff.

[[deleted user]]

Tierney wrote: "Because the book would be very dull, that's why. Who would want to read Harry Potter and the Toothbrush of Doom.

Actually..."

Yea....I WOULD SO READ THAT SHIT;)!

[Kristen]

Samantha The Escapist wrote: "People are taking this entirely too literally, OP obviously wasn't saying that a toothbrush of doom is the ONLY option. There are countless possible items or situations that could have been contrived this way, Moody was alon..."

I think the point is, he couldn't be absolutely certain of what Harry would or wouldn't touch, or when. Or that no one else would first.


"I realize this could only have happened off of school property given that magic doesn't work"

Magic works on school grounds. They just can't apparate or disapparate. But the port key would have worked anywhere. And did since the maze was on school grounds.


"what if the dragon just ate Harry or burnt him to a crisp? No body for Voldemort. Or what if Harry DID drown in the lake?"

Accidents could always happen, of course, but Harry had all the normal security of the triwizard tournament to make sure that didn't happen, plus Dumbledore and Barty/Moody's extra close watch for their own purposes. I think it's highly unlikely anything truly bad could have happened to him.
But good point - it would have been better for them to do it sooner. I'm guessing they would have if they could have. That's the downside of only seeing what Harry sees. We don't see all the other stuff like the possible hold ups for Voldemort at this point. There were probably a number of other things that needed to happen first, and the port key probably took some time to get ready.


"Another thing to point out actually is that a much safer route may have been to take Harry's blood alone and get it to Voldemort - get the kid at a later time but for now get Voldemort's body bad."

I think that was an arrogance thing. He wanted Harry there personally so he could kill him first thing. As a way to show everyone else that he could easily eliminate his one and only real obstacle.

[Kristen]

Baylor...( I hardly know her) wrote: "JYes but they could have used Pollegies(idk how to spell it) potion and make themselves look like Ron and he could have gone through Harry's stuff. "

He still wouldn't have the password.

[Jeni]

Baylor...( I hardly know her) wrote: "Yes but they could have used Pollegies(idk how to spell it) potion and make themselves look like Ron and he could have gone through Harry's stuff. "

I love this conversation!

Let's say for a moment that Polyjuice potion is the way to go and he makes himself look like Ron.

We know you can enter other dorms in Polyjuice form because Ron and Harry use the same method to get into Slytherin's dorm, so you could definitely clear the doorway. Once in, you'd have to navigate through all the Griffyndors that know Ron, including three siblings. Assuming you manage to grump your way through to the dorm without arousing suspicion and enchant a sock or tie or something as a portkey, there is still a time limit for the effectiveness of the portkey. You'd have to do it in the morning (or evening) before anyone was up and then avoid Ron himself, along with the other sleeping guys.

Successfully enchanting his right sock as a portkey, you make your way down and out of the dorm, avoiding everyone (including Peeves) and safely transform back into yourself.

Next morning, Harry and the others are getting ready for their day and Harry, busy with his comb, asks Ron to toss him his socks. BAM!

Although it is plausible, it's not ideal and the maze ensures the solitude for the port.

The best alternative suggestion is just getting his blood ahead of time and skipping off to do the enchantment. He's already getting loads of help with the challenges, so he's all right there, but what about the enchantment in the cemetery necessitated Harry being present?

Primarily, I would suggest it's the desire to kill Harry. The spell is necessary, yes, but Voldemort wants Harry as a witness to his return, then wants to look into his eyes as he kills him.

At this point, I'm going to say that it makes for a more suspenseful story to have Harry face death (yet again) and succeed in escaping. Now, he's a witness to something nobody believes and is isolated even more, making him an easier target for Voldemort.

[Samantha The Escapist]

Yeah I'm really enjoying this conversation too, and once again I do love reading this book, I just find that as a work of fiction I have a really hard time accepting the explanation of a great deal of the plot of this book.

I think a big part of my problem is that whenever I read a book I ALWAYS think about the villain's perspective the whole time, in fact I would love to read a novel entirely from the bad guy's POV. I guess I just consider myself a big fan of villains in stories, and especially the villain's relationship with the quintessential hero.

[Jeni]

Simply, I feel Voldemort expects everyone he surrounds himself with to feel as he does and act as he would. He puts a great deal of responsibility on people who, quite honestly, are very unlikely to do what he thinks they should in the manner he desires.

I like the humanity these fallible characters bring to the villainous side of the HP universe.

As for bad guy's POV, Dexter Morgan is a bad guy. A seriously bad guy that we really just love. His stories are pretty lovely to read. :)

[Rhiyaah]

well , there wouldn't be a Goblet Of Fire then ...

[[deleted user]]

Jeni wrote: "Baylor...( I hardly know her) wrote: "Yes but they could have used Pollegies(idk how to spell it) potion and make themselves look like Ron and he could have gone through Harry's stuff. "

I love t..."

Good point:) Don't get me wrong I love the book, and the story, but there has to be an easier way to get Harry alone. Like making Cho Chang the Portkey!!- okay that would've been awesome if possible lol

[Mitali]

All fake-Moody had to do was call Harry into his office for a private chat, and hand him a portkey. He could have even gone along with Harry to the graveyard, as he had no interest in maintaining his facade once Harry was in Voldemort's clutches. And Harry wasn't supposed to survive, so no one would know what had happened. As far as anyone at Hogwarts knew, Harry and Moody would have simply disappeared without a trace. Dumbledore would have probably figured it out in a while, but by then, Voldemort would be resurrected and Harry dead.

All of this could have been accomplished on the first evening fake-Moody came to Hogwarts. It's utterly ridiculous that he went through the whole months-long charade of entering Harry into the Triwizard Tournament, when there was every chance that Harry might fail or die, or that fake-Moody's cover would be blown. The whole plot is sheer nonsense when you think about it - but it's enormous fun to read about, so it's probably best not to think about it too hard. ;)

[Siobhan]

Voldemort loves theatrics though. He was totally like "Ohh they're starting up the triwizard tornament again? How can I factor this into my plot to kill Harry Potter?" And the triwizard tournament is all about unity amongst the wizarding community and with everyone so happy, he would just love messing that up. Plus it was at Hogwarts that year, and Voldy was obsessed with Hogwarts. He hid a piece of his soul there for crying out loud.

[Atlantic Gem]

Oooh... you just inspired crackfic!!!

[Jodie]

It's because the Triwizard Cup was out of the way, which is what Voldemort wanted. When Harry came back there were only a select few people who believed him that Voldemort was back - making Harry very isolated in the 5th. If he had succeeded in killing Harry then everyone would of thought it was an accident in the maze and still wouldn't of known Voldemort was back.

[Julian]

Mitali wrote: "All fake-Moody had to do was call Harry into his office for a private chat, and hand him a portkey. He could have even gone along with Harry to the graveyard, as he had no interest in maintaining h..."
I don't think Portkeys work inside of Hogwarts the only teletransporation methods are a Phoenix's or a House elve's

I think the last task takes outside of the school grounds? may be I'm not really sure

[Jodie]

Julian wrote: "Mitali wrote: "All fake-Moody had to do was call Harry into his office for a private chat, and hand him a portkey. He could have even gone along with Harry to the graveyard, as he had no interest i..."

You're right, forgot about that!

[Lostshadows]

I've been wondering the same thing for years.

The point people have made about portkeys only working at a specific time actually makes the goblet a worse choice. He could clear the field for Harry, but he couldn't control how long it took him to get through the maze. He walks a bit slow, the goblet does nothing. And since the school year was almost over at that point, he doesn't get another chance.

It would have been better to arrange to bump into Harry at some point when he wouldn't be missed for a while, invite him to his office for a chat, and ask him to hand him some nearby object that just happened to be a portkey that was about to activate. If it doesn't work, he can try again without arousing much suspicion. (Well, other than Harry suspecting he's too lazy to get up and grab books for himself if it goes wrong too many times.)

It wouldn't necessarily have made for a better book, but it would have been a better plan.

[Mitali]

Julian wrote: I don't think Portkeys work inside of Hogwarts the only teletransporation methods are a Phoenix's or a House elve's

I think the last task takes outside of the school grounds? may be I'm not really sure "

Portkeys work just fine inside Hogwarts. Dumbledore creates one to send Harry and the Weasleys to Grimmauld Place in OotP.

The last task takes place on the quidditch pitch (i.e. the maze is grown on the quidditch pitch), so it's definitely inside school grounds.

[Isabella]

You are right of course.

However like Line said, JK needed to write the book, and if it was his toothbrush it would turn too much into a mad capped fandom -- which would have actually been pretty cool.

I also don't think it would work for Barty's character, he would have found it too easy, and he loved the idea of the lasting momentum, to be transported dramtically at the last moment...

[Jodie]

Mitali wrote: "Julian wrote: I don't think Portkeys work inside of Hogwarts the only teletransporation methods are a Phoenix's or a House elve's

I think the last task takes outside of the school grounds? may be ..."

Only the headmaster can enter and leave Hogwarts to he was the only person able to make a portkey in the 5th book (which is also why he's the only one can apparate).. The maze was the quidditch pitch but they had all enchantments guarding the school lifted for the final tournament; or else they wouldn't have been able to have all the other enchantments in the maze.

[Sorrel]

Have you ever thought that if Voldemort didn't spend ages laughing at Harry's patheticness and bragging about how he got him to a place to kill, him he would have killed him? I agree with all of the above explanations but the thing is, with these books if they did go the most realistic way Harry would go to high school in Dudley's old uniform died grey and lead a miserable life because his parents had died in a tragic accident and he had Dudley for a cousin. There are a lot of "h'mm." moments in the Harry potter books e.g "I think that people are too hard on Voldemort. Have you noticed how he always until the end of the school year to try an kill Harry? For all his bad points at least Voldemort cared about Hary's education."

[Jodie]

Not really, in the second book they cancelled the exams at the end of the year because of what happened with the chamber of secrets and he didn't learn anything in the 4th because of the tri-wizard tournament and he didn't even finish his last year.. And Voldemort kept laughing at his patheticness because he was a coward and wanted Harry to feel pathetic, therefore making him an easier target to kill.

[Nichola]

Anything guaranteed to br touched only by Harry would have to get through the Fat Lady. Even if they had the password she would see them unless they used poly juice potion in which case they would need the hair of someone from Harry's room which again, would be difficult to get without being seen. You could chance a different object which is easier to get your hands on but then someone else may pick it up!

[Krister]

It was all about Voldemort needing to make a big statement. His whole evil 'career' was about making people fear him. That's what made him tick. He didn't want to rule the world so that he could pass interesting laws - he wanted to rule the world so that he could have dominion over everyone who ever slighted him. His goal was terror, basically. Which is why he never did things the easy way. What use is pulling off a masterstroke if no one knows you've done it? So the whole Triwizard Cup thing was a way of sticking his fingers up at everyone and saying 'Hell yeah I'm back! I'm back and I'm bad and I can kill any of you tiny people at any time I want - just like I did with Potter. Now bow down and worship me you pathetic little worms..." Or words to that effect :)

[Mitali]

Jodie wrote: "Only the headmaster can enter and leave Hogwarts to he was the only person able to make a portkey in the 5th book (which is also why he's the only one can apparate).. The maze was the quidditch pitch but they had all enchantments guarding the school lifted for the final tournament; or else they wouldn't have been able to have all the other enchantments in the maze. "

It's never stated that only the headmaster can create a portkey within Hogwarts. He may be the only one who can apparate, but even that is stated two books later. If portkey creation was limited, it should have been stated within Goblet of Fire, as it directly affects the plot. Also, it is never stated that all the enchantments guarding the school lifted for the final tournament. It would be a huge security risk if they were, and Dumbledore would be an idiot for allowing it.

But even if we hypothetically accept these above restrictions, that still doesn't fill the gaping plot hole in GoF. Instead of handing Harry a portkey in his own office, fake-Moody could have done so during Harry's visits to Hogsmeade. That way he would still have carried out Voldemort's plan several months earlier and it would be far less risky.

Krister wrote: "What use is pulling off a masterstroke if no one knows you've done it? So the whole Triwizard Cup thing was a way of sticking his fingers up at everyone and saying 'Hell yeah I'm back! I'm back and I'm bad and I can kill any of you tiny people at any time I want - just like I did with Potter. Now bow down and worship me you pathetic little worms..." Or words to that effect :) "

But Voldemort didn't want anyone to know it! His plan was to kill Harry in the graveyard, so his return would be known only to his Death Eaters. He had no intention of making a big statement. Harry's escape ruined that plan, so he turned to Plan B, which was to make everyone think that Harry was lying.

[Julian]

Mitali wrote: "Jodie wrote: "Only the headmaster can enter and leave Hogwarts to he was the only person able to make a portkey in the 5th book (which is also why he's the only one can apparate).. The maze was the..."
I think we can assume that portkeys are restricted because in the first war Voldemort could be sent some death eaters to wreak havok in Hogwarts by just creating some port keys targeted inside the castle

Surprise attack + not so well trained wizards = disaster

[Lostshadows]

Julian wrote: "I think we can assume that portkeys are restricted because in the first war Voldemort could be sent some death eaters to wreak havok in Hogwarts by just creating some port keys targeted inside the castle"

Its possible, if there is a restriction, it would stop a portkey bringing someone into Hogwarts, unless it started there in the first place. Assuming the spell isn't an easy one, it would make it fairly difficult to get a port key into the school.

I also suspect that Voldemort didn't want to run the risk of wiping out too much of the next generation of wizards. Eventually he'd need a new followers, even if none of the first group of Death Eaters died in the fighting.

[Mitali]

Julian wrote: "I think we can assume that portkeys are restricted because in the first war Voldemort could be sent some death eaters to wreak havok in Hogwarts by just creating some port keys targeted inside the castle"

There has to be a restriction on where a portkey can take you to, and not just because of Voldemort. If there aren't, even petty thieves could just break into other people's homes using a portkey. There are security measures placed on people's homes preventing unauthorized people from apparating inside them, so the same probably apply to portkeys. But the same restrictions don't need to apply to taking a portkey out of someplace.

[Samuel]

This fanfic covers it:
http://www.cosforums.com/showthread.p...
It comes to mostly the same conclusions you folks have arrived at, but it's a more amusing journey.

[Delaney]

the cup at the end is the triwizard cup not the goblet of fire. all the goblet of fire is is a way to pick the champions to enter the the triwizard tournament. the triwizard cup is the port key.

[Delaney]

Mitali wrote: "Julian wrote: "I think we can assume that portkeys are restricted because in the first war Voldemort could be sent some death eaters to wreak havok in Hogwarts by just creating some port keys targe..."

kinda like how you can apperate into or on hogwarts grounds

[Aukse]

People, you DO realize that in life you cannot just chose the easiest way out all the time? Have you ever read a biography of some sorts? Doesn't it seem like there was this and that that person would have done to get out of some situation or trouble they were in but they did something else instead- something that usually cost them a lot?

When you live life not only there are HUNDREDS of little circumstances that influence your decisions, but also the fact that you cannot see everything written down like a book or a movie script prevents you from making the best decisions. If people always made the right decisions in books, we'd just have a bunch of Mary and Gary Sues. Books are the best when they have a touch of reality, and complicating simple things is what life specializes in.

[Julian]

Aukse wrote: "People, you DO realize that in life you cannot just chose the easiest way out all the time? Have you ever read a biography of some sorts? Doesn't it seem like there was this and that that person wo..."

But you CAN take the easiest way out, it just that sometimes that conflicts with your moral code or the law, Something a death eater couldn't care less.

This is a problem with suspension of disbelief from us reader, i think J.K.R Should have made it clear why Barty had to go make such a convulsed plan to take Harry to Voldemort. there being more easier and secure ways. like... I don't know Waiting for a hogsmeade visit stun him and aparate to where voldemort is. with him being Madeye he could easily would be able to separate harry from Ron and Hermione.

But we get this (Quoted from TvTropes)


"Xanatos Roulette: The whole Tri-Wizard Tournament is hijacked by the scattered remnants of Voldemort's followers for the sole purpose of kidnapping Harry Potter by having him touch a object that would magically teleport him away to their Supervillain Lair. Their overly elaborate plan hinges not only on manipulating the title Goblet of Fire to draw Harry's name — an act that immediately draws suspicion since it violates half a dozen Tri-Wizard rules — but also on Harry's winning (and, for that matter, surviving) a multi-stage tournament that culminates in an obstacle course through a large maze. Surely there had to be a simpler way to get to Harry."

[Mitali]

Julian wrote: "This is a problem with suspension of disbelief from us reader, i think J.K.R Should have made it clear why Barty had to go make such a convulsed plan to take Harry to Voldemort."

Exactly. It's not that Barty Crouch/fake-Moody should have necessarily chosen the easiest route, but there should have been some in-story justification for the extremely hard and convoluted route he did choose.

[Nichola]

Why should it be justified if only one or two people out of millions have a problem with it? In the words of Patrick Rothfuss, just because it isn't written in the book doesn't mean it never happened in the story.

[Julian]

Nichola wrote: "our two people out of millions"
Well... you know... that's an understatement