Time Travel discussion

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General Time Travel Discussion > Need opinion of first chapter

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message 1: by Linda B.D. (new)

Linda B.D. (lindabd) | 85 comments This is a rough draft of a book I've thought about. Please excuse bad grammar. I wanted a fast paced book. Title: One Degree Difference
Linda D.


message 2: by John, Moderator in Memory (new)

John | 834 comments Mod
Here is the link to the first chapter of Linda's book:

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/3...


message 3: by Randy (new)

Randy Harmelink | 1098 comments It was interesting, but I thought it had a lot of awkward phrasing. And "ally" should be "alley".

It would have been easier to read with blank lines between the paragraphs.

I really got thrown for a loop after Nance thought "NO!", because you enclosed her thoughts after that in quotes, implying spoken dialog.


message 4: by Linda B.D. (new)

Linda B.D. (lindabd) | 85 comments Randy wrote: "It was interesting, but I thought it had a lot of awkward phrasing. And "ally" should be "alley".

It would have been easier to read with blank lines between the paragraphs.

I really got thrown fo..."

Thank You! I changed some of the mistakes. It is just a rough draft. I just wanted to know if it sounded interesting to others. Thanks Again, Linda


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