Bits from a work in progress.

[Joseph]

Feel feel to critique. As you can see, Alice in wonderland has something to do with it.

Bit 1:

‘Well?’ Sandra asked.
The two others looked at each other again.
‘Alice!’ they exclaimed simultaneously, and turned back to the girl. The Hatter put on his suavest face.
‘My dear er… er… non-Alice-little-girl; it is very likely-’
‘Very likely’ agreed the Hare
‘Very likely,’ repeated the Hatter with an expression of annoyance on his face; ‘that the dream is the dream of a girl called Alice. At least that’s what she called herself; the Duchess is of the opinion that her real name was Beelzebub.’
‘On account of the pig,’ said the March Hare, to which the Hatter replied: ‘Yes, on account of the baby.’
Sandra looked at them suspiciously.
‘Was it a pig or a baby?’
‘Both ,’ replied the Hatter happily. ‘Things are like that a lot around here.’


Extract 2:

Is there any other way of getting there without the train?’ she asked Celia.
‘Why yes,’ the girl replied; ‘by Royal carriage. When the Red Queen comes we can ask her for a lift.’
‘Is that the one we met before? The one who wanted to execute absolutely everybody?’
‘Everyhead you mean,’ Celia replied.
‘Every-head?’
‘Yes, everyhead. It’s not the bodies she objects too.’
The conductor interrupted.
‘No, that was the Queen of Hearts. The red Queen is a whole different book. And also a different kettle of fish, which is odd because,’ and here his voice dropped low- ‘neither of them are a kettle of fish. It’s really most peculiar.’
‘Yes,’ agreed Celia; ‘you’d expect at least one of them to be a kettle of fish.’
Sandra looked at her suspiciously, certain that the other girl was now trying to annoy her.
‘Well when is the Red Queen going to come here?’ she asked. The other two shrugged.
‘It’s not our dream, so how are we meant to know?’ The conductor asked; and as he did so his face widened until it grew very wide indeed, and his nose grew longer and taller until-
‘Why, he’s become a coach-and-horse!’
The exclamation was very accurate indeed, and Sandra was very proud that she had made it.

Excerpt 3:

Alice’s head fell off.
‘I don’t think she’s real,’ the dormouse said doubtfully. ‘Unless of course if that’s what humans do. I know no dormouse would behave like that. It’s bad manners as well as unhygienic.’
Sandra snarled, surprising herself with her own ferocity.
‘I will find her, and I will strangle her when I do,’ she said, more to herself than to the astonished dormouse; ‘and stop being so useless!’ This latter exhortation was said passionately to her rodent companion, and held a great depth of feeling. The dormouse looked doubtful and alarmed at the same time, which was no mean feat, especially when its small features are considered.
‘I don’t think I can stop being useless. At least, if I am useless I can’t stop being useless unless I stop being me, in which case I wouldn’t have stopped being useless; it would be someone else being unuseless.’ It paused for a moment, and added, almost to itself: ‘I wonder, is that even a word?’
Now it was Sandra’s turn to attempt a mix of expressions, of bewilderment and confusion. However, as these are much the same, she succeeded at this admirably.
‘Why would you stop being you? If I were more calm, I wouldn’t stop being me.’
‘Oh, you would,’ replied the dormouse fervently; ‘you would certainly be someone else. I wouldn’t mind meeting that girl, you know.’

[Joel]

The writing's good. And from what you've provided it looks more like fan fiction than parody, and I personally prefer it that way.

[Joseph]

Oh, it is meant to be a sort of sequel, so fan fiction I suppose.
Parodying Alice would be both difficult and pointless.

Unless its by republishing it and putting the bit about eating mushrooms at the begining.