What do you think of my blurb?

[[deleted user]]

My suggestions -

Jaylen Hayes knows that she’s different from other seventeen-year-old girls. Smarter than all her teachers, she’s also uncannily powerful and inexplicably hated by wild animals. But it isn’t until she transfers to Trinity High that she learns the truth about who—and what—she really is.

Instinctively drawn to two new classmates—the intense and passionate Indigo, and the charismatic and breathtakingly gorgeous Michael—Jaylen soon learns the shocking secret of their shared heritage, and the bloodline that extends to the stars. However, all is not what it seems, and Jaylen finds her newfound security threatened when a trusted friend becomes a dangerous and vengeful enemy.

Jim Dodds
its-your-story.weebly.com

[Fiona]

I like the way you've set the scene and introduced the three main characters.

Something about Jayden's "extraordinary intelligence" and how she's "uncannily powerful" sounded overblown to me. Maybe it's that you're setting her up as a "Mary Sue" character, or maybe it's that the phrases are too vague. How is she powerful? Physically powerful? Does she have magic powers? I did like the line about being "inexplicably hated by wild animals": it's specific and interesting.

In the second paragraph, I'd get rid of the two "soon"s (not required) and the word "breathtakingly" (it's enough just to say that he's gorgeous). Also, why is her security "newfound"? How was she insecure before, and what's changed to make her more secure?

Best of luck.