Romance Lovers for the Challenge-Impaired discussion
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T.B.M.D Arieanna's Legend
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When is enough... enough?
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I read romance more than any other genre and over the years my comfort level with sex has increased. But I've also gotten much more picky. Like Lisa Kay, I read all kinds of romance with differing levels of heat. But I want the sex to have a purpose in the plot. It doesn't have to have be a big purpose, but more than it's page 65 and time for them to screw. For pages and pages. I differentiate between erotica and soft porn. And while I love UF, I do not care for the female characters who bed hop. I want a relationship in my books. I can handle it taking awhile for that relationship to grow, but I don't like multiple partners. I also have read menage a' trois stories and BDSM, but they just aren't that interesting to me.
I noticed I read ménage à trois when I was going through the change of life. My theory (the nurse in me) is that it is due to extra testosterone then (yes, happens to females!), and wanting more aggressive sex. **shrugs** Now that I'm over that phase of my life, I don't read erotica much any more. In fact, it is the "sub-genre" of the month for RLftCI's January category and I have yet to pick one up.
I need an emotional connection of some type for it to work for me. I find myself reading more erotica in the last year but it still has to have a reason not just sex.
You know, all this is interesting. Especially, since everyone defines erotica differently. When I think of erotic, I mean ménage à trois, BDSM, bed-hopping/casual sex, gang-bang type sex scenes/orgies, or anal sex.
While I understand that there is an audience for romances without sex scenes and I respect everyone's tastes, romance novels that do not include sex are a bit naive and unrealistic. Not including YA in this category as they are written for teens and should be careful of sex scenes. That said, some sub-genres of Erotic are not for me. Ménage, for example, detracts from the romance. If you love some one why would you want to share them with someone else? Light BDSM is ok but nothing hard core - it is just outside my comfort zone.
I'll read a Love Inspired romance every once in a while, just like I'll read an erotica every once in a while. However, I mostly like a moderate amount of sex in my romance books. However, I really anticipate the sex scenes on some level because, if an author typically gives me three sex scenes in a book, then cuts down to one - or Eeeeeep! none - then I'm really disappointed.
Lisa Kay wrote: "You know, all this is interesting. Especially, since everyone defines erotica differently. When I think of erotic, I mean ménage à trois, BDSM, bed-hopping/casual sex, gang-bang type sex scenes/o..."My distinction is more about the words used. If they use euphemisms (soft folds, creamy heat, hard length) those I label as romance. If they use the C-C-P words (view spoiler) then I label it erotica.
It isn't exact but the C-C-P books do tend to have at least one of the requirements you listed Lisa.
I am a big fan of a HEA. Each set of characters and curcumstances is going to need a diferent level of sex, and maybe mutiple partners (while I do prefer a 1 to 1 ratio) to compare to make a character realize who they want. But it all comes back to the ending for me. What ever they went through in the book needs to be resolved and have thier HEA on the horizon, not still stringing mutiple guys along.
So, you're not a fan of the HFN (Happy For Now) endings, Dawn? Me, either. Unless it is done really, really well. However, I'm thrilled if the author comes out with a more definite episode.
HFN's have to be promising. Off the top of my head I can think of maybe two that I liked. Most of the time if there is a cliff hanger or too much left unsaid it automatically looses a star in my review.
I think the HEA is just a personal prefrence. I know lots of people who love Urban Fantasy which tends to have HFN endings. My feelings are my life is usually HFN. Life is good, but there is always something lurking ahead. A pile of laundry, what drama will happen at the PTO meeting, what mess will my kids make, bills to pay etc. When I read I want an escape from reality so that means to me they are not still worried about those little things. Even though subconsiously I know they are I want it to seem blissful. Does that make sense?
If a tv show raises more questions than it answers in an episode I am done with it. But I don't watch much tv (on my own anyway, the family always has it on)
You make a good point, Dawn, and make me think more about my preferences and expectations. If I'm reading Historical or Contemporary Romances, then I want a HEA. If I'm reading UF, then I'm fine with HFN.I was absolutely hooked on the TV show Lost for years and years; nevertheless, I finally just threw up my arms and walked away for the reasons you said: more questions than answers. Just read about the last season or two via Entertainment Weekly, and other magazines.
LOL, it's definitely personal preference. I love HFN for the most part. It's more realistic, and I actually like that about it. I do tend to prefer HEAs in my historicals though. Maybe because I know the marriages tended to last, people didnt divorce as easily, there was stigma attached to the end of a relationship etc. So if there was a lack of choice, then I want the relationship to be an HEA.
For contemporaries, I prefer stories where the heroine is assertive enough to realise she doesn't know what's around the corner, and an attitude that says, I love you, but if you become an asshole, I have enough self-respect to walk away. That for me is a HFN. They're happy, they're in love, and they're not taking "forever" for granted.
But that's just me... lol, had to add my two-cents worth.
Oh, EXCELLENT point about the Historical, CaroB. I do know I read one contemporary where they moved in together (instead of getting married) and I was happy with that. (Can't remember the book, though.) And another that really was a great HFN, but the epilogue was one year after they had moved in together and he proposed. Which I thought was more realistic in this day and age.
I think I may be a little loose in my HEA vs HFN. If they are happy and currently in love that is close enough to a HEA, even if they are not married. In a good healthy relationship, as long as it isn't eluded that there are severe issues I am happy. Every relationship is going to have minor issues that will still be lurking. As long as those issues don't make me doubt that they will stay together.
Yeah, I don't want to have any doubt that they are going to make it. Of course, some books, even if they get married, I have my doubts about the couple!
Lisa Kay wrote: "I was absolutely hooked on the TV show Lost for years and years; nevertheless, I finally just threw up my arms and walked away for the reasons you said: more questions than answers. "You made the right choice, Lisa Kay. I stuck around and wish I hadn't - the ending ruined it all!
I'm OK with HFN as long as it makes sense for the couple and the author doesn't decide to right a sequel in which they part and end up with other people - that ruins it for me.
Lauren wrote: "You made the right choice, Lisa Kay. I stuck around and wish I hadn't - the ending ruined it all!"Yeah, I heard the ending sucked, Lauren. I just made up a HEA in my head for that one. LOL!
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I like all kinds of romance, from "one foot on the floor" to sizzling erotica. Though, I must admit, while I'll read an occasional ménage à trois, I don't really go for the bed-hopping kind.