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Hi MargaretWhat are you looking for from your beta reader? Just a general view on the story or are you looking for more in depth feed back in terms of plot, continuity, spelling/grammar etc?
Just general feedback. My writing partner and critique group have all seen it chapter by chapter, and I'm something of a nut-case on grammar (I went head-to-head with the copy editor on "Relocated" on a couple of items -- I was correct -). I'm preparing the submission (I'm obligated to submit to publisher of Relocated -- they get first refusal). Call me obsessive, but I want someone else to read the whole thing.
My turn to look for a beta reader - I'm putting together my collection of YA stories. Most of them have appeared here on the group, but three are new. They are L, G, B, T and P (poly). All fairly short, but a total of 68,000 words.What I really would love would be a fairly young-adult reader to just read through with a highlighter and mark things that don't sound authentically YA. Many of the stories are first person, and as a 52 year old... wait, 53 year old writer, I'm certain there are times when a turn of phrase or reference is not authentic. I'd love to catch those. You can PM me, or leave a note here, if you have time for that. I don't need all the mistakes noted (although I never turn down comments and corrections) but mostly a review for that YA voice.
I'm looking for a beta reader for the first three chapters plus a prologue for my new YA contemporary novel about two boys who go on a road trip to find one of the boys' dad, and find love along the way. some editing would be nice, but this is not the main reason I want a beta reader. I'm mostly concerned about whether or not the beginning will catch a reader and make them want to continue on, as well as dealing with the emotional scenes--especially chapters two and three. I would really like some feedback on how I handled the scenes that are really quite emotional for my protagonist--he has just found out that his father, whom he believed dead, is actually very much alive and that his mother has been lying to him his whole life about it. Are they realistic, is it overdone, underdone, too dramatic, not dramatic enough, can the reader empathize or at least sympathize with the protagonist--that sort of thing.
If you are interested, please email me at TheWittyRomantic@hotmail.com
Looking for you, my next beta reader.I recently completed a 70,000-word romantic comedy. I've had a couple readers review TIM ON BROADWAY and they absolutely loved it. But I'm looking for a few more opinions.
Here's the blurb I'm considering:
Twenty-something Tim—overweight and practically a virgin—lives in New York, is obsessed with theatre and his favorite diva who is giving a once-in-a-lifetime concert in Bar Harbor, Maine. Tim can't afford to go unless Javier—the hunky bagger that got Tim fired from the grocery store—gives back the cash Tim lent him. But money isn't the only thing holding Tim back from his obsessions. "Javier! Oh my."
If TIM ON BROADWAY were a TV show, it might smack of Glee meeting The Office but done for cable.
I'd love to get your opinion about this romantic adventure/comedy. Message me if you're interested.
Thank you!
Rick Bettencourt
Consider: Theater-obsessed New Yorker Tim -- overweight and practically a virgin -- wants to make it to Bar Harbor, Maine to attend a once-in-a-lifetime concert given by his favorite diva. Tim hasn't got the money -- unless Javier, the hunky bagger who got Tim fired -- returns the money Tim lent him. But money isn't the only thing holding Tim back. There's Javier himself.Especially note 'who' NOT that in the 'got Tim fired' thing
Margaret wrote: "Consider: Theater-obsessed New Yorker Tim -- overweight and practically a virgin -- wants to make it to Bar Harbor, Maine to attend a once-in-a-lifetime concert given by his favorite diva. Tim hasn..."Margaret, thank you so much! That reads better.
Looking for betas and/or feedback readers for The Dark Chamber. I will request signing an NDA (non disclosure agreement). Novel is 16/21 chapters finished. Sequel to The Ivory Prison. YA Futuristic Sci-Fi.Blurb (contains spoilers for first story)
Gabriel finally knows what he is. A creature that can become others. A shifter. An ability hard learned from fear and the scar of a bullet.
The ivory prison Gabriel grew up in is not so bleak anymore. He is no longer confined within those four walls. He is no longer alone. He has Dr. Mercier, the facility’s second in command, the first person to show him kindness, and he has Lukas, the only other shifter Gabriel has ever met.
Gabriel has healed from his almost execution, he and Lukas have spent the last few months preparing for what they were created. Now the time for training is over and the people that made Gabriel and Lukas demand that they work. These demands cannot be refused. Gabriel knows that he can survive anything as long as Lukas is with him, but every day is a struggle because Lukas, the one person Gabriel trusts in the world, keeps pulling away, and the promise Lukas made Gabriel, to never let the people that kept them in cages tear them apart, is no more than a memory.
Free Prologue
PM me with e-mail if interested.
I am looking for someone to beta read/edit a short piece that I wrote. I'm entering it in a contest and would like an honest opinion on my chances, and possibly advice on how to improve it. It's flash fiction, so it's extremely short; there was a 350 word limit. Mine is 347 (I deleted a lot ). Please PM me if interested
Here's the synopsis: Comments on this welcome as well:
Geek Games
by Margaret Fieland
Synopsis
Fourteen-year-old Martin Samuels' father is head of the computer center on the Terran Federation base on planet Aleyne. Martin is gay, and his father despises him. Sixteen-year-old Tom, a charismatic bully, persuades Martin to bring down the port computer network. The terrorists place a bomb in the computer center, and a friend's father is killed in the blast.
Martin's father is convicted of treason, and Martin is taken in by classmate Alan's family. Martin gets a lot of flack for both his father's actions and his own part in the mess created by the computer center disaster, and he appeals to Major Reynolds. Aleyni Sovan Namar takes Martin and Alan on. Martin, who has taught himsellf Aleyni, enjoys himself -- and Sovan's apprentice, Beram -- bu Alan is miserable. Martin wishes to atone for his thoughtless act, and wants visit the asteroid mines to search for Tom, who has disappeared. Beram asks his uncle to take the three boys on his space ship,which is bound for the mines with cargo to sell.
After arriving at the asteroids, they learn that the miners are revolting to protest unfair working conditions The captain, Mehrdad, sells some of his goods. They all go out to eat to celebrate. Beram and Martin wake up in a prison mine, where they must work or have no food or air. The two boys become increasingly tired and despairing. They puncture a gas pocket and wake up out of the mine, but still on the prison mine asteroid. Rory is in charge.
Rory finds crew, all except Alan. Martin hears the crew discussing his relationship with Beram, and Martin realizes that he's not hopelessly flawed. They return to Aleyne. When they arrive, they find Alan already there. Martin discovers the ship Alan returned on let off a spy on the space station who intends to warn the Federation Senate about the rebellion, and Martin, Beram, and the crew leave to prevent the message being sent. Martin discovers the launch trajectory, and they stop their space ship in the drone's path, causing the launch to be aborted.
The crew continues on to the asteroids. Martin pretends to sell out and pass Aleyni weapons on to a suspected terrorists, who take him also. Rory, who is head of the drug lab, locks him in a room. Martin frays the rope and sneaks out. Rory takes off, leaving Martin behind. He pushes his thoughts toward Beram. The crew rescues Martin, and they return to Aleyne.
Martin, Beram, and the crew attend the meeting with the revolting miners and a deal is struck. Martin confronts Alan. Martin goes to visit Beram for a few weeks, where he finally feels accepted as part of a loving family and in his relationship with Beram. Major Reynolds locates Martin's mother. Martin and Beram kiss goodbye, with Martin promising to return one day.
Email me at margaret.fieland@gmail.com
if you're interested.