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Write a story using cliches
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...that after a meeting at work about synergy, his blue sky thinking is better than ever.
He'd have to circle back, and revert back to his colleagues, as well as reaching out to his boss before close of play. He felt as sick as a parrot.
Pushing the envelope was no longer on the table.
James felt that at this point in time he had missed the boat.
He was used to being at the top of his game.
He now had to think outside the box and get something out of left field.
Should be easy as pie, he thought, or was that pi? Just then an irrational number sailed past him in a small liferaft, followed by a tiger...
A light bulb moment - I need a tiger in my tank.
Gingerlily (or Cyberlily..) wrote: "A light bulb moment - I need a tiger in my tank."but who has put their tanks on my lawn?
Jim prodded the tanks carefully with a long stick, as if he was expecting a lawyer to jump out and yell "surprise" while waving a set of papers in his hand.
His phone rang, briefly. Choosing 'Jingle Bells' as a ring tone was as much of an embarrassment as his inappropriate tattoo."James, is that you?"
It was the voice of his ex-wife, now unhappily married to his arch-nemesis, Tarragon.
What the hell does she want, he thought. I need her like a hole in the head right now.
She's so over-the-top I could write a book about her.
Jan wrote: "She's so over-the-top I could write a book about her."She started off with an hour glass figure, but now the sand has started to drain down.
Indeed where previously she was described as pert, now she's more 'underpinned'
Jim wrote: "Jan wrote: "She's so over-the-top I could write a book about her."She started off with an hour glass figure, but now the sand has started to drain down.
Indeed where previously she was described ..."
...as having clothes that fit like a glove, after the Christmas food and revelry they now fit more like a sausage skin.
James felt that he had 'got one over' on old Tarragon. Yes she had taken the house and the car, but she'd also taken her mother and her brother. The latter was a nasty piece of work. Born with a silver spoon in his mouth he had pawned it and had spent the money on sex, drugs and rock-n-roll. All the staff at the nursery had protested.
but sport was on his mind,and he was over the moon,where as everyone else was sick as a parrot,but you can't win all of the time,so take each match as it comes,and everyone's a winner.
The winner takes it all, he thought, or in this case it's the early bird as gets the worm, or more specifically the early crook that gets the loot. Since that bitch was now shagging Tarragon and using his ex-fortune to line his mattress, Jim needed a new plan...
It's a game of two halves and it isn't over until the fat lady sings
Jim was planning his revenge, and uppermost was the gleeful thought that when Tarrragon stole his wife, he didn't realise that the bitch he'd selected was the pick of the litter.
'But enough of these sour grapes', he thought. 'Every cloud has a silver lining and today I'll find it.'
'I'll take the bull by the horns and make a clean breast of it. Throw myself on the mercy of the court, take the rap, do my time, and come out a new man.'
And so, Jim found himself down-at-heel, on the wrong side of the tracks.
Patti (Festive Figgy Pudding) wrote: "'But enough of these sour grapes', he thought. 'Every cloud has a silver lining and today I'll find it.'"The sky's the limit, and with a change of attitude it's a whole new ball game. Let the games begin...
and with that thought in mind he was toying with the idea of batting for the other side.
but fell out of the frying pan and into the fire...
after quickly escaping the fire he thought his goose was cooked.
He woke up suddenly, to find he'd fallen asleep at the PC. He suspected that if he looked in the mirror he'd see the imprint of the keys on his cheek.He rubbed his eyes and pressed 'any key' to continue. The life of an indie author was not an easy one. Still, another day, another dollar.
He sat at the computer waiting for inspiration to slosh him over the head, but deciding that time waits for no man, he googled ideas for dispatching Tarragon.
He glanced to the side of his keyboard and realised his ex-wife was still talking on the phone. He thought she would have rang off by now after he had put it down but he could still hear her wittering on.Thinking that she's obviously after something he thought to himself, she's not going to take me to the cleaners like last time.
James, now known to his Goodreads friends as Jim, decided he needed to put some bread on the table. I know, he thought, I'll write a book about cliches. Eeasy peasy. That should make me a mint of money. Writers are sure to buy it - after all, we're all on the same page.
Jan wrote: "James, now known to his Goodreads friends as Jim, decided he needed to put some bread on the table. I know, he thought, I'll write a book about cliches. Eeasy peasy. That should make me a mint of m..."virtually singing from the same hymn sheet.
The more he thought about it, the easier it seemed. Any fool could stick a book on Amazon and make an absolute killing.
He still had enough friends and family to give him five star reviews. But he's write it under a pen name so his ex-wife didn't find out about it. But what name to choose?
Louise-Lesley (Elle) wrote: "Slow as a pancake."HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAgaspHAHAHAHAHA!
I'm surprised, my late great-uncle, Bartholomew slow-as-a-pancake Thistlethwaite was always proud of his unusual middle name, even if it was a bit of a cliche
Any friend of yours is a friend of mine, he told me - little did I know he already had one paw on the chicken coup. They married in haste and now she will repent at leisure, because a little bird told me he ran off with all her cash. There, but for the grace of God, go I.She who laughs last, laughs longest.
Well, he thought, a bird in the hand is worth two in Shepherd's Bush. And there's always chicken soup...
And indeed he was well and truly in the soup. Indeed he was drinking in the last chance saloon
Jim was still trying to think of a pen name, but was glad that everyone had come to the party with their cliches so that he could begin on the book
It was one of those 'how to eat an elephant' situations. He just needed to take that first step and get on with it before the train had left the station. He didnt want to wake up and smell the coffee and find the ship had already sailed.
This isn't for me.I avoid cliches like the plague.
One or two sentences per post, but each sentence must include a cliche.
I'll start.
If James had been stone-cold sober he would have realised he wasn't working with a level playing field. But now heads will roll, and the cherry on the top is ...