Commiseration Needed

[Rebecca]

I turn 30 tommorrow. This makes me sad. Please help me face the big 3-0!

[Robbie]

Well, Becky, I can honestly say that the decade after I turned 30 was the best one in my life. Way better than the 20's, because you have already gone through a lot of the painful transition and personality growth, yet you are still totally young and able to really enjoy life! I bought myself a mountain bike when I turned 30.

Now that I'm 40, although I confess it was traumatic to turn 40, I just think to myself "I'm a grown-up now!" ;) HAVE FUN!!

[Shannon, the founder of fun (back from sabbatical)]

Becky - 30 is nothing!! I have a year and a half until I turn 30 and I'm planning on having a big party. I try to keep it all in perspective by looking at the timeline for my life - I expect to make it to 100 or more.(I'm optimistic I know!) Then you realise how much life and adventure you have in front of you. Age is a state of mind. I've met people in their 60s with more vitality then some in their 20s.
I've enjoyed my 20s but it has been a difficult period of growth that I'd rather not live over again. I think your 3rd decade should mark your strength, independence, growth, and really, adulthood. Happy Birthday Becky!

[Sera]

Heh. I always have my breakdown prior to the big event. Before turning 30, I had a major breakdown at 29. Before turning 40 last August, I had my breakdown at 38. My breakdowns stemmed from where I was in life versus what I had planned for myself. After that, I used any gaps as an opportunity to course correct. I also realized that age truly is a state of mind, but wisdom, experience and the relationships that one has build with family and friends impact that state of mind in a positive way.

[Alison, the guru of grace]

Turning 30 was just a reason to spend a lot of money on myself, allow myself to have money spent on me, plan a big outing, and get lots of attention. I'd turn 30 any day.

[Beth]

Yeah, I have enjoyed my 30s MUCH more than any previous decade. And, I feel that my best years are still to come. I wouldn't go back to my teens or twenties for anything. All the angst, wondering what it is you're supposed to be doing with your life, I wouldn't want to go back. It is nice to finally feel that I have some wisdom about the world and about human nature. Heck, for our generation, to turn thirty is to barely be out of adolescence.

[Dottie]

I'll second what everyone else said -- oh and Happy Birthday, too.

[Robbie]

I had a friend who told everybody she was 30 the year she turned 29 so that her real birthday wouldn't be a big deal!

[Sarah]

Happy birthday, Becky! I'll be turning 30 this year too, and I never thought it would bother me except that I don't have children yet and I always thought I would by now.

You know what? I think you and I, and anyone else who was born in '78, ought to make this THE year. You know what I mean? This is the year we will try new things. This is the year we will follow our dreams. Let's do it!

[Robbie]

Sarah, there is SO much time after 30, and even 40, to do just about anything you want to!

Happy birthday, and God bless us, every one!

[Arctic]

I turned thirty just a few months ago, so this is a very heartening thread to read.

So far being thirty has been fairly painless, so don't worry too much, Becky! ;)

As for things to do, you could always kayak up your local river to spend some quality alone time and then get deathly ill ala Northern Exposure.

Whatever you decide, I hope it's a great day for you! Happy Birthday!

[Rebecca]

Sarah - I'm with you. This will be the year to try new things. Arctic - I actually am going to learn kayaking this summer on my local river (I live in Northeastern WI). I don't plan on becoming dealthly ill though! Thanks for all the support. I actually do feel a lot better today then I did all this past week. I think I'm getting over it and decided what's the big deal!

[Sarah]

My friend says 30 isn't bad because it's a big event. 31 sucks though because then you're just "in your thirties." Kind of like turning 22.

[Blanca]

Wow, Becky, maybe you need to really celebrate to remind yourself how great it is to be 30. Not to mention that you have already accomplished starting a family that you make time for and love and aren't floundering in identity crisis territory. The 20's were the testing waters... who are you? what is important to you? Your 30's can be about, "this is who i am, get out of my way, I have important stuff to do."
You get the gist. Anyhow, Happy Birthday lady. Make it awesome!

[Alison, the guru of grace]

Oh yeah, Happy Birthday! Now my post looks really selfish. You're right--after 30, you kind of forget how old you are. When somebody asks me, I always say, "33. Or 34. Yeah, I think it's 34."

[Sarah]

That reminds me of Water for Elephants.

[Meghan]

Becky - Happy 30 and Welcome to the club!

I wil say this, it took me 2 years to get over being 30! LOL But afterwards, it's been the best thing that ever happened to me. I love being in my 30s. It's nice knowing who you are and what you want (at least better than when you were in your 20s).

This reminds me of Sex and the City actually. I think they did a whole episode on 20-something girls vs. 30-somethings. heh

[Rebecca]

Meghan - Yeah I saw that episode and I do kind of feel that.

Blanca - Thanks for your great inspirational speech.

I guess looking back at my twenties I'm glad that I don't have to repeat some of that stuff. I do have a very wonderful life and family!! Yeah, what the heck am I complaining about - I'm alive and kicking right?!!! Thanks Everyone.

[[deleted user]]

I dont have any advice to give..but I hope you have a GREAT birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!

[[deleted user]]

i'm 32, older than you so i hope you feel better now.

[Rebecca]

Well, it's over, my 30th birthday that is. I just got back from a great girls night out!!! I'm going to be just fine!

[Erica]

Happy Birthday! I am 31 now and I have to say, turning 30 wasn't too big a deal for me, although I did use the fact that it was the big 3 - 0 to get a great birthday trip out of it! But maybe that is because I was always told that women in my family really tend to BLOOM in their 30s, and boy did I need some blooming in my life. So I have always looked forward to it. I think it is a great age for really taking stock and figuring out who and what you are and what you want. And if you got a head start on it then you can say, wow, look at me, already getting it together and ONLY 30! I know people who didn't do it til much later! So rock on, girl!

[whichwaydidshego, the sage of sass]

I usually don't really realize that my birthday is coming up until it is nearly upon me... I think I do it on purpose, but that's another story. In the lead up to my 30th, I really thought about it. I didn't want it to arrive and me be all depressed about where I was or wasn't, who I was or wasn't, etc. In taking stock I got really excited.

I realized that for my 20's I'd mostly been living my life "in waiting." When I get a proper job I will... When I graduate I will... When I get a boyfriend I will... When I get a career I will... When I get married I will... I finally thought WHAT THE HE** AM I WAITING FOR??? So I decided to do all those things I'd been putting off.

In the process of all this discovery, I had changed dramatically as a person. I wanted people to notice this and not keep expecting the same old me. So on my 30th, I planned a "Voila!" day. Without telling a soul, I got my first pedicure along with a manicure, my first facial, I got my long hair cut Sharon-Stone-short, put on some toe rings, and got a naval piercing. Then I put on these saucy clothes, the likes of which had never been seen on this body before, and met my family and family friends for dinner.

When I showed up I was wearing a hat with a ponytail (that had earlier been cut off of me) sticking out the back. When I did the reveal, my pastor's wife SCREAMED in the middle of the restaurant. After a few seconds, she then demanded I "Take that wig off!" Pointing to my head I said "no... this is my hair," and then pointing to the ponytail now in my hand I said, "and this is my hair."

I say all that to say it was the beginning of something great. Being in your 30's rocks. MAKE it something to remember. MAKE it the start of something amazing.

So happy birthday, and happy beginnings! You go, girl!

[Sarah]

So I'm watching the episode, "They Shoot Gilmores, Don't They?" with the 24 Hour Dance competition and I have made a decision.

For my 30th birthday (in June) I am going to throw a 40's party! I want to rent a hall, hire a swing band, the works. Although it'd make more sense to throw a 30s party for my 30th. But would that be as fun as a 40s party?

I know June is far away but if I'm going to do this I need to start planning now, if for no other reason than financial. So what do you guys think?

And of course, any RGBC member who will be in or around Sacramento the first weekend in June will be invited!

[Meghan]

Becky - Happy Birthday! And just think...you have 10 years before you have to worry about this all over again! (i kid)

[Shannon, the founder of fun (back from sabbatical)]

Sarah - what a brilliant idea! Visually, the 40s are one of my favorite decades - which is mainly based on the great clothing and hairstyles. I wish everyone dressed like that now. Sounds like a lot of fun.

[M0rfeus]

Sarah that rocks! (Or perhaps not--I don't think they "rocked" in the 40s). But you get the idea.

Can you dance the appropriate dances? Cause if you're going to have that swingin' big band music I would think it would be more fun if you could really dance to it!

In any case I think it's a fantastic idea, and if I'm up your way I may just crash the party! (Hmm, do I have any 40s clothing??? :)

By the way, I just turned 50--so listening to these conversations about turning 30 is somewhat amusing to me--although I know it seems traumatic at the time. Hang in there, all--it gets better!

Tom

[Robbie]

Sarah,

That does sound fun!

I went rock climbing (or maybe just hiking and bouldering) on my 30th birthday. I also bought myself a mountain bike. I was single then.

When I turned 40, I had a party where I drank wine, and when I wasn't moving in order to mingle, I sat on my much fatter @$$! So, enjoy the 30's and your strong, youthful physique!

[Robbie]

That reminds me (okay not related to birthdays) of some advice a friend gave me and my husband before we were married. It was a script for continuing dialogue about the distribution of housework.

"I do *everything* around here! If you'd get of your [insert 'fat' or 'boney']..."

[Robbie]

Oh, the main way we use that is just to say to each other (okay, mostly I say it to my husband), "Thanks for doing everything around here." Awwwww!

[Misty]

Although I've been a lurker for quite some time (love this group, by the way!), this is my first post. I just turned 36 yesterday; I went to my favorite pizza parlor with family, bought a new book, and donated blood today! Live it up, girls! Life is good!

By the way, my pre-teen nieces modified a song (from one of the shows they watch) in honor of my b-day. It started out, "You're body may be saggin, but we are still a-braggin...". Nothing like the youngsters to put it in perspective for you!
- Misty

[[deleted user]]

Oh goodness. 3o is nothing..... Really, once it's over you will wonder what the fuss was about. It's all good. Promise
(this from a 52 year old woman)

[Shaindel]

I regressed for my 30th birthday. Lee (my boyfriend) threw me a pizza party at Big John's (local place here). The day before my party, my actual birthday, we went bowling and played arcade games :-) Who knows what 31 will bring in just a few short weeks?

~Shaindel

[whichwaydidshego, the sage of sass]

Sarah, woohoo!!! I LOVE to dance swing and I LOVE the 40's - have since I was young!! I love the idea and will most certainly be there! But then I'd be there if you were going for hotdogs at the Little League snack-shack! But DANG, I just hadn't realized we were ten years apart!!!

[Rebecca]

Becky, first, happy belated 30th!! Count me in as a member of the 1978 Girls Club... gearing up for 30 all year long.

Sarah, that sounds fantastic. Someday I hope to see some pictures of this grand event.

Funny that you are already planning -- my neighbors and husband have been on alert for over a year now for my party. (Understand that I never, EVER, do anything for my birthday. MAYBE dinner out with dh.) I'll be having a Second Chance Prom -- just to kick off my 30's with a return to feeling like a high school kid. Well, and because I actually didn't go to my prom.

And I just found out that my mom has decided to take me on a trip for the occasion, and we are going to ATHENS! I am so excited. How could 30 do anything but rock? Now I just have to wait until October for all of it to happen. (twiddling thumbs impatiently)

[Sarah]

Ooh, the 2nd chance prom is a great idea too! I didn't go to mine either.

ATHENS?!? That's so cool! You'll have so much fun.

So this year I'll be 30, my brother will be 35, my husband will be 40, my aunt will be 50, my cousin will be 25, my nephew will be 13, and my grandma will be 75. Kind of milestones for everybody. So my mom wants us all to rent a big house on the coast somewhere. While I think that'll be fun, I still want to do something just for me this year.