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David, Mr. Blue Eyes; He's the Best--Ain't no lie!! ;)
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Feb 20, 2013 10:15PM
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What happened to this thread?? Miss it.....
here's the first two chapters of this YA novel i'm writing, if you want you can read it and give me your review, i know the first chapter needs some editing, i'll do it when i get some spare time :)I really apreciate it!
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/3...
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Agreed, it's been a while since anyone posted! We should get it reinvigorated :)
Dalu, great start! Keep posting as you add chapters, we'd love to see them!!
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Wow man, nice, I felt the emotion :)
Dalu wrote: "here's the first two chapters of this YA novel i'm writing, if you want you can read it and give me your review, i know the first chapter needs some editing, i'll do it when i get some spare time :..."Awesome start! Like David said, keep us posted as you go.
Here's a new weekly post I'm adding to my blog. It's called short story Monday's. Just ideas I had running through my mind and wrote a short story of those ideas to let them free. Not sure if they will go further than this small thoughts but I decided to share them instead of just letting them sit stale on my computer. This weeks short story: Haunted Truth
http://www.brandynacole.blogspot.com/...
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David wrote: "Aww nice, I posted a comment on your blog :)"Thanks for stopping by David :)
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Submitted this for a new Pitch Contest. *Warning* The below, Pieces of One excerpt, flirts with racy. The rest of it calls for a mature audience or has a mind like mine (ha, ha, ha, ha!). http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/3...
Colette wrote: "Submitted this for a new Pitch Contest. *Warning* The below, Pieces of One excerpt, flirts with racy. The rest of it calls for a mature audience or has a mind like mine (ha, ha, ha, ha!). http://..."
Good luck with the Pitch Contest Colette!
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http://..."
Ooh yes, good luck!!
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http://brandynacole.blogspot.com/2013..."
Awesome!! Way to keep up with this :)
So this is what I already started, with a boring introduction to the whole story :)http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/3...
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My book is on hold for a while. My laptop is gone to get fixed and I need the program on it to be able to access the story.... So I don't know how long I'm going to have to wait before I get it back! :(
This is a poem I wrote for my boyfriend a few weeks ago after his grandma died. I want to help you,
but I don't know what to do.
I can give you a hug,
but that doesn't stop the pain.
I can tell you:
"All will be better in time."
But that would be a lie.
So for now my heart just breaks
every time I see you cry.
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I want to help you,
but I don't know what to do.
I can give you a hug,
but that doesn't stop the pain.
I can tell y..."
Wow, sad, but really sweet too
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Aww hope it doesn't take too long!
Bieke {call me B.} wrote: "This is a poem I wrote for my boyfriend a few weeks ago after his grandma died. I want to help you,
but I don't know what to do.
I can give you a hug,
but that doesn't stop the pain.
I can tell y..."
Wow, Bieke, sad, strong, and full of feeling.
Dalu wrote: "here's chapter number four of my novel:http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/3...
hope you like it!"
Really good Dalu!
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http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/3..."
You are rockin it!
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Brandy wrote: "Bieke {call me B.} wrote: "This is a poem I wrote for my boyfriend a few weeks ago after his grandma died. I want to help you,
but I don't know what to do.
I can give you a hug,
but that doesn't ..."
Thanks!
David wrote: "To be honest Harold, I really loved it!"Why, thank you!
The first chapter is uploaded as well. More of the story is done, but I have yet to upload it.
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Why, thank you!
The first chapter is uploaded as well. More of the story is done, but I have yet to upload it."
Wow, that's awesome! What are you planning on doing with it when it's finished? Keep up the great writing :)
Guys. I want to debut my seasonal story. An episode each week, but of course per season. 22-23 episodes.Here it is...
Pre-pilot: Ten Years Ago...
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/3...
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Hey, I missed this thread :) I write quite a bit (I don't expect anyone to read all of it, lol :) and am really looking for a bit of feedback. I mainly post short stories on the "Picture me a story" link, and "New Kids" Is my attempt to write an (unfinished) story :)
http://www.goodreads.com/story/list/1...
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Midnight VisitorUpdated: Tuesday, April 30, 2013.
Also need some comments.
What do you think Mr. Dave?
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/3...
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David wrote: "Awesome, Gabby, I had no idea!!! Some really good stuff, I'm most impressed :)"*blushes* Thanks David!! :)
Hey readers, writers, aspiring authors, do you have an unpublished short story, poem, skit, etc., that you would like to share? Links to a blog where you feature your writing? Email me at bnacole86@yahoo.com or message me on goodreads and lets work together on getting you featured on my blog. With an always growing schedule, I'm finding my time for fun writing becoming scarce. Not wanting to get rid of my writers Monday, I would like to give others the opportunity to share a piece of their writing and where readers can find more of their work.
Share with your friends, spread the word, and just give me a holler.
One of stories i am working on. Want try publish when finished. I started it in 2010 but decided re-write it. Don't Let Go
♣One♣
First time Sophie heard Here Without You by 3 Doors Down, was during her drive to Seattle, Washington.
With broken heart.
Sophie came to a stop at red light, as Seattle came into the view. Blinking back tears, she glanced around and saw few people crossing street, some going inside stores, restaurants.
Then she saw a couple by crosswalk. The two of them had arms wrapped around each other, looking at each other with so much love. He whispered something to her and she smiled, standing on her tiptoes to kiss her.
They reminded her of her and Andrew. What they had.
Before he shattered her heart.
Don’t think about it. Don’t think about him.
Sophie couldn’t seem to pull her gaze away from the couple. Way they smiled at each other when they pulled away.
She looked away, when she felt tears forming in her eyes. She wasn’t going to cry again, she cried enough in one day.
Sophie couldn’t believe that it only been a day. It felt like it just happened.
I’m here without you, baby
But you’re still on my lonely mind.
Words rang out through the car. Reaching towards the knob of her radio, she turned it off. This wasn’t a good song to listen to. At least not in her situation.
It made her miss him more.
Stop! How can you miss him? After what he done?
But she knew why. He was the first guy she loved.
Sophie turned, looking out the window. Anything to keep herself distracted. She saw a guy looking towards her, giving her a smile.
Once again, he reminded her of Andrew.
She looked away from him.
The light turned green, and Sophie sped away. Towards one person who could make this better, who can make this nightmare go away.
Ian.
♦♦♦♦
Ian blinked, opening his eyes when he heard a knock. He rubbed his eyes and sat up on his bed, glancing towards the time on his nightstand.
12:20am.
He groaned, wondering who would be knocking at his door this late. He didn’t want to get up, not when he just managed to fall asleep few minutes earlier.
He turned over, to see Leah’s side of bed empty again.
This seemed to be happening quite bit in past few weeks. It made him curious where she was this late. Though she mentioned about working late, something seemed off. Who worked past midnight?
He shook the thought away, hearing another knock.
Sitting on bed, he rubbed his eyes again and glanced towards Leah’s side of bed again before exiting the bedroom.
Yawning, he reached towards the doorknob after few moments.
His eyes widened. She wasn’t someone he expected to see, especially this late and considering the history her and Leah had.
He blinked. “Sophie?” He said and yawned a bit. “Are you all right?”
She opened her mouth, to respond but instead her eyes gazed towards him, observing him. Looking away, her eyes met hers and she shook her head. “I’m sorry to wake you. I…” She trailed off.
He approached her, placing his hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay,” He told her. “Why don’t you come inside?” He asked her and opened the door wider, to let her come inside.
Sophie shifted from one foot to another. “I don’t know if I should,”
“Leah is not home,” He responded right away, as if he could read her mind. He reached for her hand and led her inside, closing the door behind him.
Sophie’s eyes met his. “Where is she? It’s pretty late,”
He didn’t want to talk about Leah. Not now, and not with Sophie. “I don’t know,” He found himself responding and looked away from her and into the living room.
The room that was surrounded in photographs, taken by Leah.
He glanced at the closest one. It was a photograph of him and Andrew. His former best friend.
Their arms were wrapped around each other shoulders, they were surrounded by water. Both of them were smiling.
“Ian?” Sophie called out and gently reaching out to touch his arm.
Looking away from photograph, his eyes met her concerned eyes. He didn’t want for her to worry, not about him. Besides he knew she was upset already when she showed up.
“I’m okay,” He responded with a smile. “This isn’t why you came here. There is something you came to tell me, isn’t there?”
Sophie came to halt.
This is going break his heart.
But she knew that if she didn’t tell him, he would find out. Find out about Leah, find out that she knew about it.
He was her best friend. She had to tell him.
Instead of telling him like she should had, she glanced towards one of photographs on top of fireplace. It was a black and white photograph of her and him at Ian’s baseball game, during her sophomore year in high school.
The year she realized her feelings.
Feelings that she never did anything about.
“Sophie,” She heard Ian’s voice beside her. Breaking her away from the memories and bringing back to reality.
“It’s about Leah,” She blurted out, glancing at him again and seeing his shocked and confused expression.
“What about her?”
♦♦♦
Sophie yawned, placing a key into the door of her apartment, the one she shared with her fiancée. She still found herself smiling at the word, though they have been engaged for couple weeks now.
It was a dream come true.
Sophie managed to get off her shift early today, wanting to surprise Andrew. To spend rest of their anniversary together.
5 years. It was still hard for her to believe. Finally after five years together, they were going spend their lives together.
“Andy?” She called out when she came inside the apartment, closing the door behind her. Sophie placed the keys on glass table that stood by the front door.
Silence filled the apartment.
Sophie glanced towards the ground, seeing his shoes by the table. She knew that he wasn’t working today, that’s why she knew it would be only chance she could spend with him.
Sophie took off her shoes, and placed it next to Andrew’s. Making her way towards the kitchen, she opened the fridge and took a can of Coca Cola, wanting to stay away for few more hours. Her shift at hospital was a tough one today.
Andrew always made it better.
She heard laugher come from their bedroom.
Sophie froze. There was a girl’s laugher, that seemed familiar but she couldn’t seem to figure out where she heard it before.
That what wasn’t what bothered her, it was that Andrew was here, with another girl.
Maybe it’s a friend, a coworker.
Taking a sip of the Coke, she placed on the table in the living room and quietly walked towards their bedroom. She didn’t want him to hear her.
Sophie placed her hand on doorknob, her heart pounding in her chest.
He wouldn’t, would he? He loves me.
For moment, she considered turning around and pretending that she wasn’t here. Expect then she would wonder.
She had to know.
Sophie turned the doorknob and froze.
Andrew and Leah froze when the door opened, when they saw Sophie’s crushed expression. Leah was the last person she expected to see Andrew with.
In their bedroom.
“Sophie...” He began and started to get up.
“Don’t!” She snapped at him, feeling tears forming in her eyes.
Sophie felt like she was in nightmare, the one that she couldn’t seem to wake up from. She expected this of Leah, but not Andrew.
Why would he propose to her, if he was going break her heart?
“It’s over, “She stated once she could find words again. She removed the ring that Andrew given to her and threw it at him.
“Sophie, let me explain,” He begged her.
“There is nothing to explain,” She told him and felt more tears starting to form in her eyes. “You can have her,” She snapped at him.
Sophie heard his voice behind her, calling for her.
She ran and never looked back.
♦♦♦
Ian stared at her, blinking. As if he had hard time understanding what she told him. He shook his head once, twice. “No,” He stated after a minute of silence passed. “Leah wouldn’t do that,”
“She did,” She responded. “I saw it Ian. Why would I make something like that?”
Ian hesitated. “You never liked Leah,”
Sophie’s eyes widened in surprise. “You don’t believe me,” She stated, sounding hurt. “You think I am making up, just to break you and Leah up,”
Ian opened his mouth to respond.
Think about it. Leah doesn’t come till 1 or 2 in morning past couple weeks. She’s right.
Ian shook his head. “It’s not that I don’t believe you,” He began and looked away from her. He didn’t want for her to figure out how much it was breaking his heart.
“You don’t want to believe it,” She responded for him. “I know that feeling,” She stated softly, her anger fading.
He didn’t respond.
Sophie reached for his arm. “Ian,” She began. “You don’t deserve her. You never did,” She added at the end.
Ian looked up. “I love her,” He responded and pulled his arm away from Sophie’s. “You must be happy. This is what you wanted, wasn’t it?” He asked her angrily.
Sophie’s eyes widened at his words, at his anger. “Of course not,”
Ian shook his head. “You always hated her Sophie. You never even gave her a chance,” He snapped at her.
He wasn’t angry at Sophie, not quite. He was angry at Leah, at Andrew. But he always took his anger on someone. It’s a way he kept his actual feelings hidden.
Pain
Heartbreak.
Sophie reached out towards him again, but seemed to change her mind at last second. She placed her hands on top of her lap. “I never hated her,” She moved closer to him. “I just had a feeling that she would hurt you. Doesn’t mean I wanted it to happen,”
Ian looked down again, placing his own hands on his lap. Unable to look at her. All that seemed to be on his mind was Lean and Andrew.
Together.
Because you refuse to accept the truth, doesn’t mean that it didn’t happen.
“Ian,” She placed her hand on top of his and this time he didn’t pull away. “You’re not the only one who got hurt. I love Andrew too.”
Ian looked up, seeing pain in her expression.
Pulling his hand back, he wrapped his arms around her. “I’m sorry Soph,” He pulled her closer to her. “I’m being an asshole,” He added.
She buried her face in his shirt. “No, “
He almost laughed at her denial, resting his chin on top of his head. “I should figure out sooner, about Leah. She has been acting different.”
Sophie pulled from him for moment. “How?”
He sighed. He still didn’t want to talk about Leah, especially after what he found out. “She always came home late,” He confessed. “Then I noticed she didn’t seem so much into me as when we started dating. She began pulling away,”
He hesitated for moment. “Was Andrew acting differently?”
Sophie shook her head. “Actually he seemed more romantic,” She told him. “I just don’t understand why he would propose if he was with Leah already,”
“He’s an asshole,” He told her and stroked her hair when she rested her head on his chest. “He’s lucky it’s middle of night, or it wouldn’t be a good night for him.”
“Ian, don’t.”
“What?”
“Don’t do anything,” She began. “He’s not worth it.”
Ian shook his head. “He hurt you,” He paused for a moment. “He took Leah from me. He takes everything from me.”
Sophie looked at him in confusion. “What do you mean? What else did he take from you?”
Ian hesitated. Could he tell her? It’s something that he kept a secret, for years. The one person that knew about it was Andrew.
“You,” He blurted out.
If you want read more, go here: http://www.wattpad.com/story/9554760-...
Alisha wrote: "That is really good!!"Thank You! It has more. That just part of first chapter but it didn't fit all here.
Beautiful. Filled with so much emotion. Love it
David Estes Fans and YA Book Lovers Unite!
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