Review Group discussion
General discussion
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Jokes, all jokes, and nothing but jokes....
That's hilarious!!! I had to share that with my husband. He says from here on out if I ever tell him I have a 100 pound note all crumpled up he's going to say thanks -I don't want to see anymore now!
NEW ELEMENT DISCOVERED “Heaviest element known to science has now been discovered”Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second ...to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium' s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
Jay wrote: "NEW ELEMENT DISCOVERED “Heaviest element known to science has now been discovered”Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Govern..."
Love it!
This helps explain the unified stagnation theory, thank you.
You know, it's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they take things literally.
Jay wrote: "You know, it's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they take things literally."heh. ;)
K.A. wrote: "Somebody had to invent that thing."It's brilliant! I chuckle every time I look at it. It's a hunk of metal - with a personality! I guess this is why I loved Patrick de Moss's Like Clockwork so much (a story that is now part of Kings of Nowhere - up for review in Group 21).
OMG. I like the dress that eats the lady...
I like the duel and till death do us part.
Creative parents pulling a joke with their children's dinosaurs - that their children and I love!https://medium.com/thoughts-on-creati...
Jay wrote: "NEW ELEMENT DISCOVERED “Heaviest element known to science has now been discovered”Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Govern..."
Jay this is the best, most accurate description of our government I've ever seen. Good for a deep belly laugh, and too good to keep cooped up here on Goodreads. Would you mind if I send it to a few dozen of my friends, giving you credit for it, of course? LesH
Les wrote: "Jay wrote: "NEW ELEMENT DISCOVERED “Heaviest element known to science has now been discovered”Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new ele..."
No need for credit, Les - I'm just a hub a lot of jokes come through from my friends around the world. Pass on whatever tickles your fancy ;)
Now I'm imagining you as one of those lawn water-spinners where the hose comes in one side and several arms shoot the water out, spinning around from the pressure. Only it's jokes, not water.One of these: http://www.amazon.com/Nelson-Three-Ar...
(Sorry. I once called my mother a crock-pot (short, fat, red, and boiling over). I have a penchant for comparing people to appliances.)
Well I've certainly never been compared to an appliance before but I'm glad you placed me in a garden :)
Jay wrote: "Les wrote: "Jay wrote: "NEW ELEMENT DISCOVERED “Heaviest element known to science has now been discovered”Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science...."
Thanks, Jay. My email list is about to be amused and educated at the same time. Les H
Good grief! I like the 'Ho' Venn diagram...
The liked the way they Capitalizationify(TM) (would Capitalisationify(TM) be the UK spelling?)and Coinificate(R)(TM) key words and phrases to ensure the Emphasisication(TM) of their Message.
We all need to amplificationise our jollifisying in good timeliness.
I actually can't watch that all the way through, it's hysterically funny and embarrassing all at the same time!
Laughter is so important - I hope their marriage continued as it started...... but maybe toned down a tad.
One of the "better" jokes told to me by one of my pupils:Did you hear about the guy who drowned while eating his muesli?
No, how come he drowned?
Got pulled under by a strong currant!
What age group did you teach, GJ? Which subjects?
Age 11 to 16General Science, Physics, Technology - mainly!
plus PSRE - interesting for an atheist.
Interesting... I had to look up PSRE (it was plain RE in my day) and these are the options:http://www.acronymfinder.com/PSRE.html
!!!
Jay wrote: "Interesting... I had to look up PSRE (it was plain RE in my day) and these are the options:http://www.acronymfinder.com/PSRE.html
!!!"
Hi Jay
Mm! Acronyms... zzz! Very, yawn!... interestin... zzz!
Merry Christmas
G J Ho ho ho! zzz!
Jay wrote: NEVER google Zucchini Recipes. I was over my inlaws’ place, and he was having trouble locking his safe because the lock was stiff. I wasn’t sure whether to lubricate it with graphite, silican spray or an oil (he had all three things right there). So I googled it. After finding out all about whether lubrication is safe with contraception, among other things, I ended up taking a punt on lubricating the safe with graphite powder.
I think it was me with the zucchini, but we may have had the same experience!Also watch out when you're searching for canoeing supplies. You get a lot of stuff on...paddling.
A Photon checks into a hotel and the bellhop asks him if he has any luggage. The Photon replies “No, I’m traveling light.”
Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Would you like a drink?"Descartes replies, "I think not," and then vanishes.
Don't kill me, it's a bit longGood example of a Brain Study: If you can read this OUT LOUD you have a strong mind. And better than that: Alzheimer's is a long, long, ways down the road before it ever gets anywhere near you.
To my "selected" strange-minded friends:
If you can read the following paragraph in RED and BLACK below, forward it on to your friends and the person that sent it to you with 'yes' in the subject line. Only very good minds can read this. This is weird, but interesting!
7H15 M3554G3
53RV35 7O PR0V3
H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N
D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5!
1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5!
1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG
17 WA5 H4RD BU7
N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3
Y0UR M1ND 1S
R34D1NG 17
4U70M471C4LLY
W17H 0U7 3V3N
7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17,
B3 PROUD! 0NLY
C3R741N P30PL3 C4N
R3AD 7H15.
PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F
U C4N R34D 7H15.
If you can read this, you have a strange mind, too. Only 55 people out of 100 can.
I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed this forwrad it
FORWARD ONLY IF YOU CAN READ IT
Forward it & put 'YES' in the Subject Line
Even if you are not old, you will find this interesting....
This is a TEST ---------------- Good Luck!!!
I don't know about the wishes but we can all use some brain exercise!!
How old are your eyes?
The Eye Test
Can you find the B's
(there are 2 B's) DON'T skip, or your wish won't come True...
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Once you've found the B's
Find the 1
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII1III
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Once you found the 1................
Find the 6
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999699999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
Once you've found the 6...
Find the N (it's hard!!)
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMNMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
Once you've found the N...
Find the Q..
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOQOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Make 2 wishes!
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OK, NOW THAT YOU HAVE MADE A WISH, IT WILL COME TRUE.....ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS FORWARD
TO THREE PEOPLE BUT IF YOU FORWARD TO MORE IT WILL HAPPEN SOONER!!
Do send this message on. It is great fun and good for the Brain!!!
It is pretty strange how we read and comprehend. My mother was a William and Mary graduate and introduced me to 'Anguish' early. If you've never heard of it, look up 'Ladle Rat Rotten Hut' some time. Shaker lake! Don doily-daily!
Border collie, with possibly a little heeler thrown in. Amazing. And airborne! Just think, I'm pleased when my dogs don't tear up my shoes...
Not a joke, but an unfortunate ad placement I ran into today while browsing online news:http://kakrisko.com/wp/?p=116
The perils of random ads!
Oh dear, not quite the image they were after... lol!
Douglas wrote: "Don't kill me, it's a bit long
Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this OUT LOUD you have a strong mind. And better than that: Alzheimer's is a long, long, ways down the road before i..."
That was fun! Thanks! :) (I got'em all. :) )
Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this OUT LOUD you have a strong mind. And better than that: Alzheimer's is a long, long, ways down the road before i..."
That was fun! Thanks! :) (I got'em all. :) )
We’ve been a little bit… er… ‘damp’ for the last few weeks here in Somerset. So I decided the Olympic events should be expanded……Somerset has just been announced as the venue for the newest Winter Olympic sport – the Bridgwater Triathlon
• Highest splash wave from a standard saloon car: this will be judged by the soak level of clothes of pedestrians
• 4x4 water skiing: judged for speed, distance, and level of difficulty of the skier’s stunt moves
• Fording: both depth and speed of water will be taken into account in the marking
Residents of the Somerset Levels and Moors have been practising for this triathlon for 5 weeks and are hot favourites to win.
Zummerzet Moors Gazette
Nice Weather for Ducks?
Interviewed Mallard refuses to comment
Investigative Report into the Environmental Agency:
Shadowy organisation blamed by many for the latest flooding turns out not to exist
“It’s like living in a third world country!”
Local resident forced to cancel annual ski holiday, sees house price drop below £500,000
List of Shame
Bankers, Premiership footballers, and the U.N. fail to take action.
Review Group
Books mentioned in this topic
The Casual Vacancy (other topics)The Casual Vacancy (other topics)
The Casual Vacancy (other topics)
"No," I said.
She gave me a sexy little smile,slowly reached into her cleavage and pulled out a crumpled twenty pound note.
"Have you ever seen a fifty pound note all crumpled up?" she asked.
"No," I said.
She gave me another sexy little smile,seductively reached into her knickers and pulled out a crumpled fifty pound note.
"Now," she said, "have you ever seen 30,000 pounds all crumpled up?"
"No," I said, intrigued.
"Well, go and take a quick look in the garage."