Q&A with Josh Lanyon discussion
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All She Wrote
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October 2012, week 2: All She Wrote
I think Kit needed to hear J.X. words, even if they hurt him.he seems more and more tired with the Ms. Butterwith series and I'm hoping he'll follow J.X. hints.
Mod
Calathea wrote: And I have another question, this one for those of you who had had a broken limb in plaster. I never had and so don't know how it feels. Anna is hopping around on her crutches. It was mentioned more than once that she's wincing in pain or such.
She was using crutches—using them expertly, as a matter of fact. But she was obviously in pain.
Somehow I thought that when the broken limb is in plaster it should be stable and therefor shouldn't hurt. Is she faking it to convince Kit of her need for help?
When I think about this now, I suppose I agree with others and say that Anna must have been in physical pain... but when I read the line earlier while reading the chapter 8, I associated it with the pain she was suffering due to Nella's death. Pain as mental kind of suffering and sorrow.
Mod
he seems more and more tired with the Ms. Butterwith series and I'm hoping he'll follow J.X. hints."
Yes, I think you are absolutely right about that.
Thanks for reposting, I didn't notice this either.Calathea I think having her leg in a plaster may be painful if she puts it in the wrong position, but I have more and more the impression that she's "faking" a bit to gain more sympathy from everyone.
Johanna wrote: "Chapter 9 — Fifteen wonderful pages. I have so much to say that I don't even know where to start...Kit's and J.X.'s conversation about the reasons why Kit felt he shouldn't leave Anna yet turns i..."
The first couple of pages of this chapter are indeed pretty intense.
I could feel myself getting irritated, even though I knew he was right. “She’s afraid for her life.”
“Then she should go to the police.”
It’s funny how J.X. is using with Kit the same reasoning Kit did with Anne, with the same results apparently.
Their argument goes from sleuthing through recrimination about their writing to the big deal.
It was coming from jealousy and frustration and bitterness. It was coming from the heart of darkness. The same heart that yearned for him even while resenting him and his condescending attitude. And if that wasn’t a recipe for romantic disaster, I didn’t know what was.
It’s only the first page of chapter #9 and we’re almost got to the beginning of the book again, but at least this time the two are talking in person.
What we were commenting on before, that Kit is in an uncomfortable place with his writing even if he’s maybe too afraid of changing, is told by J.X.
“You’re a better writer than I am, Kit. You should be doing more with that gift. Instead, you’re hiding behind Miss Busybody’s skirts.”
Ouch indeed, but also what’s the worst sin than the waste of talent?
Then JX skillfully stirs the conversation back to Anna, but now we are a bit jaded and everything seems to have a different subtext.
It's very trying I think both for J.X. and Kit. It's also clever how the investigation and their personal issues (career and emotions) are woven together. There's always an echo of something else in their words.
Mod
I wasn't familiar with the "true crime TV show" Snapped (page 95): http://oxygen.com/tvshows/snapped/abo...
Here is a proof of Kit's ability to hurriedly change subject when there is even a slightest chance that he's about to end up facing his feelings and to talk *shudder* about them:
"[...] Next time you ride ventre à terre to my death bed, you could at least bring me grapes."
I was kidding naturally. Trying to, anyway. I don't even like grapes. But J.X. said seriously, "I was in a hurry to get to you."
That sincerity threw me off my stride. It seemed to require reciprocal honesty, but that's something I'm really bad at.
Jeez, Kit. Well, I suppose it's a start that you at least are aware of how badly you handle stuff like this. But would it hurt to try a little...?!
I adored the part that described Kit's journey to see Poppy downstairs. It was so visual with all the tragic and hilarious details! Didn't you just SEE Kit struggling to put on his bathrobe toga style (page 97). And the way he sallied through the corridors with the rattling IV that was constantly trying to escape from him.
Anyone who wasn't half-stoned on pain meds would have instantly realized what a really bad idea this plan was, but since that didn't include me, I didn't worry about it. (page 98)
LOL. Finally we've established something that Kit doesn't have to worry about! *grin*
And didn't you just love the way the formidable-looking nurse (who was also described as Grandma Moses and Nurse Hellhound) hauled Kit back to his room (page 101)! Not to mention the fact that he ended up mooning to the cute state police trooper... I sincerely don't know why this comes to my mind right now, but like we've talked earlier in some other thread, this series would make wonderful movies! ;)
So, the hospital pillows are alike all over the world (page 103):
I leaned back against the sponge pancake they laughingly called a pillow [...]
And wasn't it heart-squeezing, when J.X. came to see Kit after he'd seen Poppy's car (page 104):
I couldn't seem to look away from those dark solemn eyes. I could see from J.X.'s expression how close it had been. Oddly enough, my uppermost thought was not that I would have been dead. It was that I'd never have seen J.X. again.
Not good. Not good to care this much.
And on the same page:
[...] His eyes were crinkling at the corners and his teeth were very white as he grinned at me. He looked...happy. My throat tightened in response. I didn't want that responsibility. I wasn't good at making people happy.
And on the next page 105:
[...] I'd never thought of myself as anyone's honey. What was the expectation for someone's honey?
What are we going to do with this man???!!! He is so determined to think that all his relationships are doomed that he's not willing to even try! Or does this mainly apply only to the blooming relationship with J.X.? He especially doesn't want to let J.X. down? Or he's scared that he gets hurt again? Or both? Nevertheless it's probably the saddest thing I've read for a long time — not wanting to care too much, because one is afraid of the consequences.
In the end of the chapter Kit somewhat exceeds himself and confesses to J.X. (pages 105-106):
[...] I felt that, at the least, I owed him honesty. I said, "The thing is, J.X." I drew a deep breath. "I'm...not very good at relationships."
"That's the understatement of the year."
All my good intentions evaporated. "I don't know that you're such an expert either."
Now why he should find that funny, I've no idea, but J.X. said way too gravely, "That's fair."
Good for you, Kit! That was an adorable attempt to share your feelings with J.X.! You are going to be babbling about your deepest feelings in no time... LOL. ;) Emanuela pointed out earlier how it feels like if we're all sharing insider's jokes with Kit. After reading the lines above I truly felt like I was sharing an insider's joke with J.X. — and that's so cool! Kit totally misses why J.X. finds the situation funny, but we all know it. We and J.X.... but not Kit. Ha!
I'm going to end this waaaaay too loooong post with J.X.'s sweet words (page 106):
J.X. said calmly, "You know what, Kit? I'm a big boy. I can look after myself. I know that right now the idea of a relationship paralyzes you. But I think you do care for me, or you wouldn't have had the hospital contact me when you were hurt, and I'm willing to hang in here for a while longer. You're worth it."
and
"[...] I wanted you to try and meet me halfway. Or as close to halfway as you could handle. That's what this feels like."
Aaaw, isn't he something? So sweet of him to try to lessen Kit's stress about their relationship. *sigh*
Oh, Johanna, lovely! :DDid you catch the wonderful crescendo: Nurse Hellhound, Hellbound, Hellsound? OMG, I think Josh didn't use the same way twice to refer to her :D
Mod
OMG. No, I didn't catch that! LOL. :) That's clever.
Emanuela wrote: "--Kit is in an uncomfortable place with his writing even if he’s maybe too afraid of changing--"
Yes! That's it. That's the thing he's probably the most afraid of: change. In his career and in his life. It's so contradictory, because he's clearly not happy with the current situation (in his career or in his love life), but he's afraid to make any changes either.
This reminds me of an aphorism I have on my fridge: "Leap and the net will appear." (zen saying)
Kit should leap, because his safety net has just appeared in the picture.
I don't think I'll be able to read the chapter today, but I'll read double tomorrow, I promise :)
Mod
I think I'm going to do the exact same thing — it's chapters 10 & 11 for me tomorrow. ;)
And I think I'll try and catch up on #9 today. ;) I read it yesterday but couldn't keep my eyes open to comment. 
Johanna wrote: "Kit's and J.X.'s conversation about the reasons why Kit felt he shouldn't leave Anna yet turns into a quarrel about Kit's writing in no time (page 92):"Kit." I could see him struggling for a tactful way to say it. "This sounds like something you'd write."" The hints, the blinking, pointing arrows...
"Yes," I said huffily. "I understand exactly what you were saying. I'm a hack and you're the real deal."I agree, there's a lot going on here while the two of them are talking. It was exasperating to see how Kit again(!) intentionally misinterprets what J.X. is saying. Back to the self-sabotage. And then the floodgates open and all of Kit's despair breaks through.
But all the heavy stuff is nicely broken up by the comedy and lets us breath for a while, don't you think? Someone mentioned Kit's slapstick interlude while getting down to Poppy already.
Kit asks J.X. to go and suggest the police have a closer look at the car.
"Yes. I will do that for you," he said like he was making formal promise.That made me all warm and fuzzy. :) It's clear that J.X. is not interested in the accident or murder attempt or whatever. He's only doing it for Kit. *sigh*
Emanuela wrote: "Did you catch the wonderful crescendo: Nurse Hellhound, Hellbound, Hellsound? OMG, I think Josh didn't use the same way twice to refer to her :D "
Haha, didn't catch that. I laughed at the "Frau Blücher" part. ;-))
J.X.'s face was creased in that oblique white smile that always made him look like a wicked Spanish grandee skulking behind an arras,... (p. 103)Yay, the Spanish grandee is back! The phrase makes me think of those old Italian or French adventure movies with a very young Alain Delon perhaps or the very first Zorro movie. I loved them. :D
You already mentioned when Kit tells J.X. that he isn't good with relationship stuff. Fitting in there is this little bit:
"I don't offer to share my lime Jell-O with just anyone, you know."I don't know if I'm trying to see to much here, but it looks like it is letting slip the truth. He actually wouldn't share with just anybody, only J.X. He wouldn't let anybody close enough. And then the light banter shows wonderfully why those two fit so perfectly. They share a certain sense of humour.
"I realize that. Beneath my stoic exterior I'm very moved."
Lori wrote: "Also, she's got bruised or cracked ribs, so that the crutches are probably rubbing against them.Calathea: you're right. It's from Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark, the scene in the b..."
Thank you, Lori, for the legal explanation! That was exactly what I needed to keep it apart in my head.
(and thanks for clarifying the Indy-quote, too! :)
re: Anna's rips. You're right. She has more than a broken leg. I totally forgot. Makes me wonder why. Maybe I dislike her enough to see her haven a hidden agenda even with her whinces and bruises...
Johanna wrote: but when I read the line earlier while reading the chapter 8, I associated it with the pain she was suffering due to Nella's death. Pain as mental kind of suffering and sorrow.
I didn't even think in this direction. Never came to my mind. Hmpf. I just don't like Anna. ;)
Johanna wrote: "And on the next page 105:[...] I'd never thought of myself as anyone's honey. What was the expectation for someone's honey?
What are we going to do with this man???!!! He is so determined to think that all his relationships are doomed that he's not willing to even try!"
This absolut insecurity when it comes to relationships is baffling. Where does this come from? Was this really only because of this failed relationship with David? I think there must be more. Some kind of earlier experience that made Kit distrust in any relationship. I mean, how did he ever get together with David in the first place (not to mention stay with him)? To me it looks like a safe choice, not to many feelings invested or so. Where is Dr. Freud when you need him? ;-)
This absolut insecurity when it comes to relationships is baffling. Where does this come from? Was this really only because of this failed relationship with David? I think there must be more. Some kind of earlier experience that made Kit distrust in any relationship. I mean, how did he ever get together with David in the first place (not to mention stay with him)? To me it looks like a safe choice, not to many feelings invested or so. Where is Dr. Freud when you need him? ;-) I agree.
Someone really messed with Kit's head at one time. David???
Luckily, J.X.is doing a really fine job of convincing Kit he's lovable.
I'll pass on Freud since I strongly dislike him :D but this being said Calathea I think Kit is insecure and intovert (sp?), and those are character traits.David was a safe choice, he was companionship and something "safe" because not many feelings were involved.
When he left with someone younger I think not only there was the pain of being left, but also the fear that if something as "easy" as their relationship was, tanked, how can something a lot more complicated work?
When Kit is with J.X. he feels and he feels deeply, and since he is insecure he fears that this too will end, only, with him a lot more shredded than before.
I underlined this: towards the end of Chapter 2 (kindle location 360)Kit was thinking about what he learned from his first writer's conference- "...writing was an insecure business. That underlying sense of precariousness had driven me ever since—at some cost to my personal life."
Out of all the things he was exposed to, THIS is what he thought was the most significant thing he learned?
It seems to me this filter of insecurity is Kit's view of the world and himself. And yes, it seems safe to assume that some experience (life maybe) taught him this at an impressionable age. I am sure that J.X. will help him with this...if he allows it. ;-)
Mod
Even with his drugged-out wanderings about the hospital, Kit manages once again to notice how attractive J.X. is to him, but diffuses this (once again) with a joke.
Darkm wrote: "I'll pass on Freud since I strongly dislike him :D but this being said Calathea I think Kit is insecure and intovert (sp?), and those are character traits.David was a safe choice, he was companion..."
I agree. It's as if Kit had settled on something, both in his career and life, but not something that pushes him too much, something he can handle simply. J.X. isn't a man you can simply handle, you have to deal with him, and it requires a stronger and more assertive attitude.
I liked very much the fact that J.X. feels they are meeting halfway, it tells something about how deeply J.X. cares for Kit, that he tries to push him and draw him at the same time (not shove him and drag him!).
I think so far J.X. is the one who has repetitively put his heart on the line, and has accepted all of Kit's quirks and insecurities.I'm hoping Kit will be strong enough to show he cares as well.
Mod
Darkm wrote: "David was a safe choice, he was companionship and something "safe" because not many feelings were involved.
When he left with someone younger I think not only there was the pain of being left, but also the fear that if something as "easy" as their relationship was, tanked, how can something a lot more complicated work?"
Definitely this. I think that you are absolutely right. From Kit's point of view it must seem like his blooming relationship with J.X. doesn't have a chance in the world — not at least unless he himself is willing to make some (minor?!) changes in his mind and in his life, and to take some risks (dear God!). It seems that he has to give up safe to meet J.X. halfway. And isn't that ironic, because keeping Kit safe really seems to be one of J.X.'s priority missions. :)
Reggie wrote: "It seems to me this filter of insecurity is Kit's view of the world and himself. And yes, it seems safe to assume that some experience (life maybe) taught him this at an impressionable age. I am sure that J.X. will help him with this...if he allows it. ;-)"
And Emanuela wrote: "I liked very much the fact that J.X. feels they are meeting halfway, it tells something about how deeply J.X. cares for Kit, that he tries to push him and draw him at the same time (not shove him and drag him!)."
I think it's going to be very interesting to see the development of these men's characters as the series continues. To me that is the most fascinating thing I'm looking for in the next books.
With Kit even the smallest change seems to mean a huge step for him. And even though he recognizes his needs to change some things, to take those risks and leap, he's putting up a fight with himself about it. And although J.X. is practically the most perfect man alive, I'm still hungry to learn more about him. I feel that I know a lot less about him than I do about Kit.
Mod
I'm hoping Kit will be strong enough to show he cares as well."
Yeah, and I hope that J.X. has enough patience to wait until that happens... ;)
Mod
"I realize that. Beneath my stoic exterior I'm very moved."
I don't know if I'm trying to see to much here, but it looks like it is letting slip the truth. He actually wouldn't share with just anybody, only J.X. He wouldn't let anybody close enough. And then the light banter shows wonderfully why those two fit so perfectly. They share a certain sense of humour.
Yes, the same sense of humor. That's a lovely observation, Calathea. :) The similar sense of humor is an extremely important thing to have in common with the significant other, isn't it (says a woman who first fell in love with her husband's laugh and his beautiful smile). ;)
And hmm... how do you say it in English: "Behind every joke, there is an underlying truth." I think it would be highly unlikely that Kit would share his dessert with anyone else than J.X. — I mean, we all know how he likes those muffins and other sweets! *grin* So yes, I think that with these seemingly light words Kit is admitting something else and much more meaningful altogether. And to think about it... lime Jell-O is in fact a wonderful metaphor of Kit's life. *another grin*
I'd like to crawl around in J.X.'s head while all of this is going on and see Kit from his point of view. I get a sense of exasperated amusement most of the time along with a lot of patience. One of the bad things about first person narratives is that you only get what the narrator is seeing and it's not always a reliable observation.I'll agree with everyone's thoughts on Kit's settling for the safer option. Willingly putting your heart out to another can be a terrifying experience and if that person doesn't treat you well ... Being an introvert makes it hard to trust others with those secrets you'd rather keep to yourself. It's easier to stay hidden, tucked away in your safe zone and not take a chance of getting hurt. The jokes are pure deflections, especially when someone gets too close to the vulnerable core.
Mod
[...] Just as I couldn't recall exchanging pet names with anyone before, I couldn't remember sitting around holding hands with anyone before. I'm not sure David and I ever held hands, other than to slip rings on each other's left fingers. For sure not in a serious, prolonged, clasped-hands, linked-fingers, old-fashioned-courtship kind of way.
It was...nice.
And alarming.
But mostly nice.
First of all: the hand holding. It's such a small gesture, but it gives so much pleasure. A simple, everyday life thing that was foreign to Kit. It's wonderful to see (read) him enjoying it. And even though he briefly thinks that it's alarming, in the end he still thinks that it's nice. Yay!
Secondly: David. I always forget that Kit and David were actually married!
Thirdly: poor Kit. It's so sad that before J.X. nobody has given him pet names or hasn't hold his hand. And I mainly blame David for this, obviously.
It's going to take ages for me to write this comment, because I lost myself listening to Jack Johnson's To the Sea album (page 112). One of my favorite songs (for the car scene) was Turn Your Love:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCrB0L...
I don’t want you to go
I don’t want you to go
But it’s time to turn your love, give it back
It’s time to turn your love, give it back
Give it back
Give it back
I don’t want you to know
Let’s not go to sleep tonight
It’s not that it goes too fast
It’s just that goes at all
Then it’s time to turn your love, give it back
It’s time to turn your love, give it back
It’s time to turn your love, give it back
Give it back, give it back, give it back
Give it back
Give it back
Why should I be sad when I’m just you
Why should I be sad baby I’m with you
Why should I be sad when Im just you
Why should I be sad baby I’m with,
Baby I’m with you
Baby I’m with you
It’s time to turn your love, give it back
It´s time to turn your love, give it back
It´s time to turn your love, give it back
Give it back, give it back, give it back
Give it back
Give it back, give it back, give it back
(repeat)
I can so clearly picture them driving through the wintery landscape, snow slowly drifting around. A bit melancholy, laid-back, sunny tunes filling the car.
I thought that this part was beautiful (page 112):
Up ahead I could see the skid marks in the road, black quote marks standing out sharply against the dull pavement, a statement of disaster.
I'll better start another post, before this one is too long to read through...
Johanna wrote: "*sigh* The chapter 10 starts in a most romantic way with Kit and J.X. holding hands while watching TV (page 107):[...] Just as I couldn't recall exchanging pet names with anyone before, I couldn'..."
The holding hands part was sweet indeed. I was wondering who's decided to watch COPS! It's a show I watch every time I catch it on TV, the procedures seem so different from what we're used to in Italy.
I am very angry with Anna, because she does it again:
“I’m glad,” she said with her old warmth. “You deserve someone who appreciates you. David was always going to have an eye out for someone younger, handsomer and more exciting.”
I knew what she meant, but it still stung. Especially since J.X. was that someone younger, handsomer and more exciting.
I wish Kit drew a more positive consequence from this. He doesn't think: I've been dumped for a younger guy and now I HAVE a younger guy. Why?! We always come back to his insecurities.
Thanks for the song Johanna! As you said, Kit spotting the site of the accident is written very effectively. My uncle died 10 years ago in a car accident and it happened in the road we usually drive to go to the seaside. When we get close to the mark, everybody in the car begins to speak loudly and we have a lot of things to say, until we get past and the mood returns very sad for a few miles. In the morning the accident happened, I remember driving back from the hospital and seeing at the side of the road the marks of the car veering off. My thought was: this place for me is now important and damned and sacred at the same time, and those driving behind me are probably just experiencing a bit of curiosity for what has happened. It was dreadful. And sorry for telling this, but I can't help...
Back to happier thoughts. This was fantastic, when seeing Luke:
“There’s someone it might be well worth checking out,” I said.
“I’d just as soon not hear about other guys you want to check out.”
Jealous much, J.X.?
And the closing of the chapter is wonderful.
Home. It sounded nice the way he said it.
I said rashly, “I’ll make it up to you.”
“Could that be the pain meds talking?”
I studied his face. “Actually…no.”
I wasn’t sure, but I thought he might have blushed.
It shows that I'm an accountant, because I'm always remarking about the length of paragraphs and lines, but these five lines are incredibily effective. They tell of so many emotions, and the acknowledging of them. The blushing is endearing, it lets us understand how special for J.X. that moment is. And as Lori said: I'd love to be in his head for a while! :D
Mod
When Kit and J.X. approach Asquith House, they see Luke. These lines made me laugh (page 113):
"There's someone it might be well worth checking out," I said.
"I'd just as soon not hear about other guys you want to check out."
LOL. J.X. seems to be in a good mood, although he wasn't able to allure Kit to fly home with him straight from the hospital. He is happy simply to be with Kit. How sweet! Anyway, J.X. said earlier (on page 110) that he was staying for Kit — not for Anna. And a little later (page 113) he says:
"All right. I'll ask around." Meeting my gaze, he smiled wryly. "The sooner we figure out what's going on here with Anna, the sooner we can go home."
Home. It sounded nice the way he said it.
I just realized how words like nice and happy hold such strong meaning when Kit uses them. Kit seems to be wary to use too big or overwhelming words to describe his feelings. But although he uses such common adjectives, the signification of those ordinary words seems to expand in his use. Does that make any sense?
Aaaaand Kit makes us all proud of him in the very end of the chapter 10 (page 114):
I said rashly, "I'll make it up to you."
"Could that be the pain meds talking?"
I studied his face. "Actually...no."
I wasn't sure, but I thought he might have blushed.
Mod
Emanuela wrote: "It shows that I'm an accountant, because I'm always remarking about the length of paragraphs and lines, but these five lines are incredibily effective. They tell of so many emotions, and the acknowledging of them. The blushing is endearing, it lets us understand how special for J.X. that moment is. And as Lori said: I'd love to be in his head for a while! :D"
Indeed. :)
Mod
So sorry to hear about this, Emanuela. Thank you for sharing it.
Mod
There are 13 songs on the CD, but this one worked for me. :)
Johanna wrote: "Oh Manu, I didn't see your post since I was probably writing my message at the same time, so I've quoted the same lines than you did. That's actually pretty funny. And they sure are great lines. :)..."Great minds etc. ;-D
Mod
"Could that be the pain meds talking?"
I studied his face. "Actually...no."
I wasn't sure, but I thought he might have blushed.
Of course I highlighted these lines too. I noted on a re-read being once again in awe of Josh's economy of expression — how something as simple as "I'll make it up to you" takes on a much deeper meaning, with so many implications for this story, with addition of the single adverb "rashly."
So what occurs to me is that there's a definite contrast in the emotional implications of the sex/lovemaking scenes between this book and SKHE. In SKHE, the guys couldn't seem to keep their hands (etc.) off of each other. There was a lot of explosive passion, followed by various misunderstandings/regrets. In this book the very strong sexual attraction Kit and J.X. have for each other is obvious, but circumstances and the realization that an actual relationship would need to be a part of the deal, has Kit acting less impulsively and more cautiously. When and how they make love will have much more impact here.
Hi, everybody!I'm still here but I don't seem to manage to give a contribution... I'm lost in work, I feel I'm behind and I should re-read everything...
Anyway, I'm really enjoying a lot the discussion and I thank you for your contributions.
I hope I haven't said this already. If I did, it bears repeating ;-).
I'm writing very little too Antonella, but loving every second of this conversation :)Manu: thanks for sharing <3
Mod
I'm still here but I don't seem to manage to give a contribution... I'm lost in work, I feel I'm behind and I should re-read everything...
Anyway, I'm really enjoying a lot the dis..."
Don't lose yourself in work too much, dear. I know that have happened to some people (ahem)...
We love to have you here cheering for us, Antonella! ;) The best part really is reading other's comments, isn't? It's so cool, when somebody else notices things that I haven't seen while reading. And when the other completes my own unfinished thoughts!
Anyway, you and everybody else are most welcome to jump in the discussion anytime or just to pop in to read the comments and/or to say hi. The more the merrier!!!
We created these four different topics so that anyone could join any of these topics whenever they have time to read (or comment) the chapters in question. So everyone, feel free to comment whenever you like. I know that this chapter by chapter reading/commenting isn't everybody's cup of tea...
Anyway, it's so nice to have more people in the discussion during the weekends! :) So... what did you all think about chapters 7-12?
(I'm a bit behind — haven't commented on chapters 11 & 12 yet, but I'll be back to do that later today.)
Mod
We are happy to have you here, Darkm. :)
So, Chapter 11. Sooooo sweet.The beginning is - as always - phenomenal.
I was obscurely pleased to see that even J.X. wasn’t able to defrost Sara.
What are you, Sara? Dead? How can you not be warmed by J.X.'s hawtness?
And I was a bit surprised by this - I don't remember if I noticed the first time I read it:
[...] and my tendency to inappropriate humor was a nervous tic I was trying to break.
A nervous tic. It's interesting, but I think we know many people that react with dry humor to uncomfortable situations. There are times when Kit seems to be unaware of peculiar traits of his personality, and then there are times when he's perfectly lucid.
We are introduced to yet another player in the story, Anna's stepson. Don't you immediately mistrust step-anything in a story? I have never got over Snow White or Cinderella.
As we anticipated at the beginning of our read:
I wanted her to go away so that I could shut the door and formally introduce J.X. to the monolith.
I bet. We almost don't need Kit to tell us:
His expression as he took in the velvet draperies and twirling grapevines was priceless.
Even if the bed is a continental plate it seems pretty comfortable, reading how J.X. is able to make Kit relax. Of the beautiful love scene, I liked this detail:
His heart pounded hard against my shoulder blades.
We don't know what's in J.X.'s head, but this seems something more than simple physical exertion.
But the beautiful cocoon of sweetness is shattered at the end of the chapter:
From down the hall a woman was screaming.
Mod
It seems that once again I've post-ited mainly the same lines than Manu. :) Kit's comment about his tendency to inappropriate humor (page 115) was one of those. Kit has been thinking something similar to this a few times (at least in SKHE, when he deliberately stopped himself joking in somewhat serious situations), but I don't remember him ever stating so clearly that it was a nervous tic he was trying to break. Is this one of the first things he is trying to change for J.X.? Or does it have anything to do with him? Is it just a bad habit that he recognizes in himself? A habit he wants to avoid? I'm sure we all have some of those *grin*, but when he calls his tendency to inappropriate humor a nervous tic it sounds like something almost uncontrollable. So he must feel that breaking it isn't going to be easy. I agree 100% with Emanuela: "There are times when Kit seems to be unaware of peculiar traits of his personality, and then there are times when he's perfectly lucid."
Emanuela also wrote: "We are introduced to yet another player in the story, Anna's stepson. Don't you immediately mistrust step-anything in a story? I have never got over Snow White or Cinderella."
LOL! Yes, all the evil fairytale stepmothers have definitely done their deed... And this doesn't have anything to do with steprelatives (not a word, I know) or ASW, but I have never got over the death of Bambi's mother. *sob*
The bed feels more and more like a real character of this story! Never mind Sara or anybody else, but Kit was anxious to introduce J.X. to the bed. :)
I also found it funny, when Kit thought J.X. as typical guy (page 117-118):
"Come and lie down, honey. You're all wound up."
I eyed him with exasperation. Typical guy. Hopefully he wasn't thinking we could get up to anything because I was definitely not in shape for fooling around...
I really liked Karen's thoughts about the sex scenes:
In this book the very strong sexual attraction Kit and J.X. have for each other is obvious, but circumstances and the realization that an actual relationship would need to be a part of the deal, has Kit acting less impulsively and more cautiously. When and how they make love will have much more impact here (in ASW).
One thing I noticed the first time I read ASW was that J.X. seems to be the person who makes the first move every time they end up making love in this book. Typical guy or not... ;)
Like Manu said earlier, the love scene was beautiful. My favorite moments were in the very beginning and in the very end:
J.X. grinned. He displayed such a touching tenderness, his fingers not quite steady as he reached in to touch me through the warm cotton of my briefs. The hardness he found there seemed to reassure. Him and me both. (page 118)
and
So little really, but with J.X. more than enough. My pleasure peaked and broke, spilled over into his warm, welcoming hands. (page 121)
Aaaw. So few words, such simple gestures, but so much meaning and emotion behind it. The tender, not quite steady fingers, welcoming hands, the reassured feeling, all the simple things that are more than enough when one shares them with the loved one. Just like holding hands in the beginning of chapter 10.
Josh's words and your comment about the sex scenes remind me that here we are light years away from much of the stuff I was so unfortunate to read in the past.
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The particularities of lovemaking, including those less dramatic erotic exchanges, are described with emotions and personalities engaged. Definitely "more than physical exertion" (as Emanuela noted) and certainly "few words, such simple gestures, but so much meaning and emotion behind it" (Johanna's words). And their consummation will have so much more meaning and emotion, a natural segue to the next steps in their relationship in H&M3.
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In New Mexico there is a tradition of marking the scenes of accidents with roadside crosses (descansos). They are maintained, and some are even decorated on particular holidays, birthdays, or deathdays, by surviving family members. I suppose some could consider this to be morbid, or see it as picturesque folk art, but in my experience it serves as a kind of memento mori, and perhaps it reminds some of us to slow down and pay more attention — to our driving and to our lives.
http://webpages.charter.net/dnance/de...
http://www.santafenewmexican.com/loca...
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Thank you for the information on descansos, Karen. The website is interesting and very touching. And the photos are beautiful in black and white. I found it fascinating that the first descansos were resting places where people who carried the coffin from the church to the cemetery paused to rest.
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*nod nod* This must be the most important reason for why the intimate scenes Josh writes are so realistic, stunning and always meaningful for the story.
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I have
in my hand and I'm going to go to bed in a minute (it's 2:20 a.m.). I'll take Swift and Max to bed with me and I'm going to read the chapter 12. Thanks for the tip, Karen! Hyvää yötä! Good night! :)
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Karen wrote: "One of the many things I love about the way Josh writes intimate scenes is that he describes interactions that don't always include "throwing wide the gates to the city" (Kit's words in Chap. 11), ..."I very much agree with this.
And I feel the need to re-read "Come unto these yellow sands", sigh.
I used to be a bit of a night owl too, but I've learned that the more I keep a routine for bed, the better my moods are, so I stick to that :)
Karen wrote: "Emanuela, I know something about how tragedy imprints our emotions on the landscape. Almost 10 years later, I still experience shadows of my feelings driving with my sister to and from Denver, foll..."Thanks everyone! Karen: there's this tradition in Italy too, often there is a plaque and/or something to place flowers. My aunt told us she absolutely didn't want that and we all respected her wishes. The ghosts still linger though. When the car veered off the street, unfortunately it impacted a tree and the owner cut it down a few weeks later. He told us he didn't want my uncle's daughter - who at the time was only 10 - to see it if she happened to travel that road. Now there's nothing to mark the place, except our memories.
Emanuela ~plastic duck~ wrote: "So, Chapter 11. Sooooo sweet.The beginning is - as always - phenomenal.
I was obscurely pleased to see that even J.X. wasn’t able to defrost Sara.
What are you, Sara? Dead? How can you not be w..."
Thank you all for your thoughts! I marked most of the lines you mentioned too. :)
Emanuela wrote: "We are introduced to yet another player in the story, Anna's stepson. Don't you immediately mistrust step-anything in a story? I have never got over Snow White or Cinderella."
Step-anything... ;) The fairy tales of the Grimm brothers mostly influenced me to distrust step-mothers. That would be Anna, right? ;-)
Johanna wrote: " but I don't remember him ever stating so clearly that it was a nervous tic he was trying to break. Is this one of the first things he is trying to change for J.X.?"
This is a very interesting line. I was surprised, too, that Kit mentioned that he wanted to change something of his usual behaviour. He refers to it as a nervous tic. It makes me think that this behaviour that comes now as automatical as a reflex might was once have been something done consciously but got out of hand.
Johanna wrote: "Like Manu said earlier, the love scene was beautiful. "
Oh, yes, sooo beautiful. Emotional and hot.
"A little harder. I won't break," I urged as J.X. squeezed again. (p. 119)Somehow I think this "I won't break" has more significance than just the obvious, but I can't put my finger on it.
Shortly after this:
I pressed against him, needing more, needing this to be both of us together, not just him taking care of me. I suspected he was too often stuck in the role of responsible party.I think this tells a lot about Kit. His need for this to be a shared/joint experience, that it's not only about him (despite J.X. offering) and his readiness to accept his share of "responsibility". It's a step in the direction of a equal partnership. There's another hint for this when Kit decides that he'll soon let him but will ask the same of him. I like that. ;-)
And then to be woken from their little place of bliss by a scream... so mean! ;)
Q&A with Josh Lanyon
Books mentioned in this topic
Come Unto These Yellow Sands (other topics)Come Unto These Yellow Sands (other topics)
Heart Trouble (other topics)
All She Wrote (other topics)
Kit's and J.X.'s conversation about the reasons why Kit felt he shouldn't leave Anna yet turns into a quarrel about Kit's writing in no time (page 92):
"Kit." I could see him struggling for a tactful way to say it. "This sounds like something you'd write."
He should have kept struggling.
A few lines later (page 93):
"Yes," I said huffily. "I understand exactly what you were saying. I'm a hack and you're the real deal."
"I didn't say that."
"You didn't have to."
And still a little bit later on the pages 93-94:
"Look. We both know what you think of my writing. You think I write the equivalent of literary junk food. Brain lint. Disposable fluff."
"That is not what I'm saying." J.X. was so vehement I knew I was right. "I did not say that. I have never once said that."
"Yeah, you did, actually. When we were stranded in Northern California. You said I cranked them out in my sleep and that I'd been doing it for years."
I knew by the flicker of his eyes I'd cornered him. Not that it gave me any pleasure. I was startled at the painful accuracy of that particular memory. I don't think I'd accepted how much it hurt until this very moment.
So many emotions involved here! When J.X. asks in surprise where all these accusations are coming from, Kit admits (but only to himself) that deep down he is jealous, frustrated and bitter. Mainly about the fact that J.X. is still at the top of his game as an author, while Kit feels like a has-been. He only just realizes how very hurt he actually is about the comments J.X. made months ago on Kit still writing the Miss Butterwith series. I suppose that he just kind of swept those comments under the carpet at the time. And when he sees J.X. reactions to his accusations and realizes that J.X. truly thinks those things about Kit's writing, it doesn't give him any pleasure to be right about it. How could you get pleasure out of seeing a person you care about being cornered — even by yourself?
J.X. patiently (but pretty straightforward) tries to explain Kit his thoughts (page 94):
"I don't think you're a hack. I think you are afraid to write anything that challenges you or that means anything to you."
and
"You're a better writer than I am, Kit. You should be doing more with that gift. Instead, you're hiding behind Miss Busybody's skirts."
Ouch. We've talked earlier (maybe while discussing SKHE?) how Kit has trouble accepting praise about himself. He always seems to expect the worst to happen and seems to think that he himself is usually the cause of the failure. It looks like he's afraid to have hope about anything. The one praise in the middle of J.X.'s harsh(ish) words seems to register though. Kit lets the quarrel go. Phew.
I'm going to continue with another post...