Joy > Joy's Quotes

“And let’s face it people, no one is ever honest with you about child birth. Not even your mother.       “It’s a pain you forget all about once you have that sweet little baby in your arms.”     Bullshit.   I CALL BULLSHIT.   Any friend, cousin, or nosey-ass stranger in the grocery store that tells you it’s not that bad is a lying sack of shit.   Your vagina is roughly the size of the girth of a penis.   It has to stretch and open andturn into a giant bat cave so the life-sucking human you’ve been growing for nine months can angrily claw its way out.   Who in their right mind would do that willingly?   You’re just walking along one day and think to yourself, “You know, I think it’s time I turn my vagina into an Arby’s Beef and Cheddar (minus the cheddar) and saddle myself down for a minimum of eighteen years to someone who will suck the soul and the will to live right out of my body so I’m a shell of the person I used to be and can’t get laid even if I pay for it.”
― Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

“I shouldn't be allowed to think when I'm drinking.”
― Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

“you don't know this, baby, but some men have dream women too"
Tack-Motorcyle Man”
― Kristen Ashley

“Jack: "For Christ's sake, it wasn't like I was on vacation. I've been in Iowa, in cornfield hell!

Keely: Did you just say you got cornholed in Iowa?”
― Lorelei James, All Jacked Up

“Channing, come back here.”

“No,” she tossed off over her shoulder.

“I’m warnin’ you, girl, you don’t want to make me mad.”

“Tough shit, tough guy. Suck it up and walk it off.”

People around them stopped and stared, nudged each other and chuckled, giving Colby a wide berth.

“Last chance,” he yelled.

Channing flipped him the bird without turning around. In fact, she ran away from him like her boot heels were smoking.

He was going to paddle that sassy little ass but good.”
― Lorelei James, Long Hard Ride

“You're playing with fire askin' that question, darlin'."

"Why's that?"

"'Cause my very explicit answer would make you blush like a virgin and run screamin' for the Black Hills.”
― Lorelei James, Rode Hard, Put Up Wet