Tom > Tom's Quotes

“Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!

But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money!”
― George Carlin

“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.”
― Linda Grayson

“Parents were the only ones obligated to love you; from the rest of the world you had to earn it.”
― Ann Brashares, Forever in Blue: The Fourth Summer of the Sisterhood

“Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.”
― Garrison Keillor, Good Poems

“Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving.”
― W.T. Purkiser