Rob Delaney > Rob's Quotes

“Children give terrible gifts because they are poor.”
― Rob Delaney, Mother. Wife. Sister. Human. Warrior. Falcon. Yardstick. Turban. Cabbage.

“If you ask someone out and they say no, try it again in a few minutes wearing sunglasses and smoking a cigarette.”
― Rob Delaney, Mother. Wife. Sister. Human. Warrior. Falcon. Yardstick. Turban. Cabbage.

“I became a diligent condom carrier and when most subsequent lovers had the good fortune to lie under my grunting, sweaty mass, they were always the grimacing recipient of an eager and rubber-sheathed penis boner.”
― Rob Delaney, Rob Delaney: Mother. Wife. Sister. Human. Warrior. Falcon. Yardstick. Turban. Cabbage.