Toby > Toby's Quotes

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
― Groucho Marx

“I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.”
― Groucho Marx, Groucho and Me

“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.”
― Groucho Marx

“I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment.”
― Woody Allen, The Illustrated Woody Allen Reader

“I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.”
― Woody Allen

“In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.”
― Woody Allen

“I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.”
― Woody Allen

“My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them.”
― Jack Kerouac

“If critics say your work stinks it's because they want it to stink and they can make it stink by scaring you into conformity with their comfortable little standards. Standards so low that they can no longer be considered "dangerous" but set in place in their compartmental understandings.”
― Jack Kerouac

“Jack Kerouac was cool because he had no idea he was.”
― Dennis Miller

“There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't.”
― Robert Benchley

“Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.”
― Robert Benchley