MJ > MJ's Quotes

“Life is still life. It’s still tough, complicated, and more than a little messy, with lessons to be learned, mistakes to be made, triumphs and disappointments to be had, and not every day is meant to be a party.”
― Alyson Noel, Dark Flame

“I told her that I can't be doing with the Wonder part of these trips, but she said it should be the icing on the cake... I've never liked wedding cake due to the amount of icing, but then imagine a wedding cake without it; just a dark, stodgy, horrible dry sponge. The icing covers up the mess, and that's how I feel about most of the Wonders. They use them to get people to visit a place that you probably wouldn't think about visiting.”
― Karl Pilkington, An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington

“I've never been touched by such an old man.”
― Karl Pilkington, An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington

“It's interesting to see that people had so much clutter even thousands of years ago. The only way to get rid of it all was to bury it, and then some archaeologist went and dug it all up.”
― Karl Pilkington, An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington

“She gave me the jabs and said I was covered for every worst-case scenario, including being bitten by a dirty chimp. I told her this is why we have over-population problems. Why are idiots who annoy dirty chimps being protected?”
― Karl Pilkington, An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington

“They do it in Thai restaurants in London. You ask for a drink, and it comes in a glass with loads of seaweed and pebbles in it like a scene from Finding Nemo.”
― Karl Pilkington, An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington

“This is the problem with over-crowded inner-city schools there aren't enough parts for everyone in the nativity story.”
― Karl Pilkington, An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington

“A block of blood should not have the word "cake" after it...they might as well say "shite gateau”
― Karl Pilkington, An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington

“There is no need for ants to have the ability to fly”
― Karl Pilkington, An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington

“I always have a problem liking things I'm told I should like.”
― Karl Pilkington, An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington

“I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever.”
― Karl Pilkington, An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington

“I really can't believe what a state the Pyramids are in. I thought they had flat rendered sides, but when you get up close, you see how they are just giant boulders balanced on top of each other, like a massive game of Jenga that has got out of hand.”
― Karl Pilkington, An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington

“I know who I am. Bloody hell, I'm getting enough bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I am him, 'cos if I'm not, I have no idea who I'm paying for.”
― Karl Pilkington, An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington

“I always have a problem liking things that I'm told I should like. This has been the problem with most of the Wonders I have seen so far. The fact that this one is called the 'Great' Wall of China annoys me. I'll decide if it's great or not. It might end up being the 'All Right Wall of China' to me.”
― Karl Pilkington, An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington

“The problem I have with all this religion stuff is that I can't relate to it. I think most people got into 'cos it gave them something to do on a Sunday, but since all the shops are now open it isn't required as much.”
― Karl Pilkington, An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington

“Everywhere we walked we got plenty of attention due to the camera and sound men. The locals love to get on camera. [...] I'd seen footage of Gandhi surrounded like this and always thought it was because he was very popular, but now I wonder if it was just because he had a camera crew with him.”
― Karl Pilkington, An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington