Mel > Mel's Quotes

“*fist bump* *high five* *bottom pat* … too far?”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human

“Four a whore does not you make.”
― Penny Reid, Friends Without Benefits

“I'm pointing out you've been missed. Being present is one hundred percent more meaningful than being there in spirit.”
― Penny Reid, Happily Ever Ninja

“I treasure my sleep over the wellbeing or interests of my loved ones”
― Penny Reid, Love Hacked

“Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it.” — W. Somerset Maugham”
― Penny Reid, Beauty and the Mustache

“Oh, Quinn….” I gave him a sympathetic smile. “You really are Batman.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human

“Stop it.” Cletus snapped his fingers in front of our faces. “I hate it when you two mind-meld through your eyeballs.”
― Penny Reid, Truth or Beard

“... that was also weird. Everything was weird."

"Stop using the word weird. You do your vocabulary no justice.”
― Penny Reid, Love Hacked

“Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”
― Penny Reid, Happily Ever Ninja

“A sinister giggle escaped my lips. I’m not much of a giggler unless I’ve done something sinister.”
― Penny Reid, Truth or Beard

“My momma once told me, you don’t need to be pushed in order to fall. I don’t think you’ll need to do much pushing, Jessica.”
― Penny Reid, Truth or Beard

“Be cool. Be cool and act cool. Be chill, act chill, be ice. You’re an ice cube. Just be cool.”
― Penny Reid, Love Hacked

“I was drunk at five in the afternoon.

Luckily, we were in Las Vegas. I contemplated the fact that being drunk in Las Vegas was like being sober everywhere else in the world. So... normal.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human

“Agree!” This came from Sandra. “Roses are red, violets are blue, rhyming is hard. Wine.”
― Penny Reid, Beauty and the Mustache

“That’s right. I’m looking for an escape. Drew is out there. And—oh God—Cletus, I’m the worst. I’m so awkward, my awkward is embarrassed by my awkward.”
― Penny Reid, Beard Science

“Finally, he sighed and suggested, “How about you lay it all out? Tell her everything.”

I blinked once, slowly, then glared at my brother. “I don’t like that advice. That’s seriously shitty advice.”

He lifted an eyebrow at me. “It’s your advice. It’s what you’ve been telling me to do with,” his eyes dropped and he took a breath before continuing, “with Scarlet...”

“It’s still shitty advice. I have no idea of knowing what’s in her head. What if she rejects me?” My words pulled a small smile from him. Even so, I added, “I hope you didn’t take it.”

He shook his head. “She’d have to agree to talk to me first.”

I examined my brother. “You and I might be sharing a boat.”

“Yeah, but your boat is newer.”
― Penny Reid, Beard Science

“Crap.

She’s going to cry.

This was a situation that required neutralizing. I placed my hand over hers and gave her a squeeze.

“There, there.” Fruit cake. “Calm down—”
― Penny Reid, Beard Science

“Repo cast a narrowed glare over me. “You’re saying that Banana Cake girl—”

“She’s a queen, not a girl.”

He huffed impatiently. “Her majesty of bananas is your woman?”

I gave an affirmative head bob.

The three men traded stares, silently communicating with their eyeballs. This time I didn’t mind”
― Penny Reid, Beard Science