William > William's Quotes

“I tried being reasonable, but I didn't like it.”
― Clint Eastwood

“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”
― Mark Twain

“I'm sick of just liking people. I wish to God I could meet somebody I could respect.”
― J.D. Salinger, Franny and Zooey

“Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

“Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, A Man Without a Country

“It's getting to be ri-goddamn-diculous.”
― John Wayne

“Never apologize, mister, it’s a sign of weakness.”
― John Wayne

“I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, A Man Without a Country

“If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.”
― Clint Eastwood

“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”
― Mark Twain

“Mothers are all slightly insane.”
― J. D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

“All morons hate it when you call them a moron.”
― J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

“Resist much, obey little.”
― Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

“I haven't any right to criticize books, and I don't do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can't conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read Pride and Prejudice I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone.”
― Mark Twain

“If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you really are.”
― H.N. Turteltaub, The Sacred Land

“What the hell is that?" I laughed.
"It's my fox hat."
"Your fox hat?"
"Yeah, Pudge. My fox hat."
"Why are you wearing your fox hat?" I asked.
"Because no one can catch the motherfucking fox.”
― John Green, Looking for Alaska

“Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.”
― Albert Einstein

“Rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men.”
― Douglas Bader

“You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.”
― Winston Churchill

“My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.”
― Winston S. Churchill

“Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.”
― Winston Churchill