Jeff > Jeff's Quotes

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#1

“If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.”
― Mark Twain

tags: lies, lying, memory, truth

92615 likes

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#2

“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
― Mark Twain

34488 likes

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#3

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).”
― Mark Twain

tags: individuality, majority, minority, pause, reflect, wisdom

43980 likes

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#4

“The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.”
― Mark Twain

tags: aliteracy, attributed-no-source, literacy

41089 likes

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#5

“A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.”
― Mark Twain

tags: misattributed-mark-twain, truth

16332 likes

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#6

“Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.”
― Mark Twain

tags: truth

16248 likes

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#7

“Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.”
― Benjamin Franklin Wade

tags: humor, misattributed-mark-twain, philosophy, theology

19881 likes

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#8

“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
― Mark Twain

tags: humor, politics

9122 likes

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#9

“Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.”
― Mark Twain

tags: patriotism, politics

6029 likes

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#10

“The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter. ’tis the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.”
― Mark Twain, The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain: A Book of Quotations

tags: writing

6224 likes

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#11

“God created war so that Americans would learn geography.”
― Mark Twain

tags: americans, geography, war

7542 likes

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#12

“You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches, demons, sticks turning into snakes, burning bushes, food falling from the sky, people walking on water, and all sorts of magical, absurd and primitive stories, and you say that we are the ones that need help?”
― Mark Twain

tags: books-bible

2560 likes

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#13

“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
― Mark Twain

tags: classic-insult, funeral, funny, humor

7634 likes

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#14

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.”
― Mark Twain

tags: courage

3366 likes

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#15

“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.”
― Mark Twain

tags: humor, philosophy, religion

2508 likes

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#16

“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”
― Mark Twain

tags: clothing

3698 likes

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#17

“What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.”
― Mark Twain

tags: humor, men, women

4705 likes

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#18

“History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme.”
― Mark Twain

tags: history

2272 likes

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#19

“Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.”
― Mark Twain

tags: education

2906 likes

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#20

“Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.”
― Laurence J. Peter, The Peter Principle

tags: government, kidding, misattributed-mark-twain, stupidity

1409 likes

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#21

“I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.”
― Mark Twain

tags: death, inspirational

6420 likes

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#22

“A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.”
― Mark Twain

tags: conscience, humor, memory

1979 likes

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#23

“Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.”
― Mark Twain

tags: advice-for-daily-living, rake

913 likes

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#24

“I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail.”
― Abraham Maslow, Toward a Psychology of Being

tags: assumptions, hammer, instrumentalism, problem-solving, psychology, science, temptation

1092 likes

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#25

“To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.”
― Mark Twain

tags: appreciation, companionship, joy

1380 likes

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#26

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”
― Mark Twain

tags: heartbreak

6911 likes

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#27

“Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.”
― Mark Twain

tags: enlightening

1599 likes

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#28

“It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.”
― Mark Twain

tags: bravery, character, courage, moral-courage

1208 likes

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#29

“Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.”
― Mark Twain

tags: blush, wordplay

487 likes

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#30

“In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.”
― Mark Twain

tags: politics

553 likes

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