Bjarke Raabjerg > Bjarke's Quotes

“Books, books, books! We can’t seem to get enough of them. A good book is like a friend waiting for you at home, providing comfort and familiarity alongside excitement and adventure. In contrast to “quick fix” diversions, a book lets the reader inside. You have time to get to know the character—her thoughts and secret yearnings—to live inside of a story, or to master a subject. Through a single book of nonfiction, you can obtain inside knowledge gleaned from a lifetime of experience. And through fiction, you can inhabit another life, another time, even another world. Reading is like travel, allowing you to exit your own life for a bit, and to come back with a renewed, even inspired, perspective.”
― Laurie A. Helgoe, Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength

“Many of us start out paralyzed by shame and embarrassment, even after we figure out that we don’t want to be embarrassed by sex. The beliefs we were taught—that our bodies, our desires, and sex are dirty and wrong—make it very hard to develop healthy sexual self-esteem.”
― Dossie Easton, The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love

“Write this on your mirror: sexually successful people masturbate. You are not jerking or buzzing off because you are a loser, because you can’t find anyone to play with, or because you are desperate to get your rocks off. You’re making love to yourself because you deserve pleasure, and playing with yourself makes you feel good.”
― Dossie Easton, The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love

“When we give ourselves compassion, however, when we care for and look after ourselves, we can start to let go of society’s narrow definitions of how men and women are supposed to be sexually. We can start to love and accept ourselves exactly as we are and can express our sexuality in the way that most fulfills us.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“The best thing you can do for your sex life is to leave religion”
― Darrel Ray, Sex & God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality

“What psychologists call “the need for intimacy” is present in introverts and extroverts alike. In fact, people who value intimacy highly don’t tend to be, as the noted psychologist David Buss puts it, “the loud, outgoing, life-of-the-party extrovert.” They are more likely to be someone with a select group of close friends, who prefers “sincere and meaningful conversations over wild parties.”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

“Start by knowing that who we are is okay. Our feelings and thoughts are okay. Our opinions count. It’s okay to talk about our problems. And it’s okay to say no.”
― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

“Learn the words: I feel. Let others say those words and learn to listen—not fix—when they do.”
― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

“Remember, decisions don’t have to be made perfectly. We don’t have to be perfect. We don’t even have to be nearly perfect. We can just be who we are. We can make mistakes in our choices. We’re not so fragile we can’t handle making a mistake. It’s no big deal! It’s part of living. We can learn from our mistakes, or we can simply make another decision.”
― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

“It is such a rare thing in this world to find someone who is not constantly trying to impress someone, be liked, or fill empty airspace with mindless chatter. A person who is completely, unapologetically okay with who they are and what they feel is like a beacon of light in the dark. As author Anne Lamott once said, “Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.”
― Michaela Chung, The Irresistible Introvert: Harness the Power of Quiet Charisma in a Loud World

“With all the misconceptions about us, you would think that introverts are a small and freakish minority. As alluded to earlier, introverts make up roughly one-half to one-third of the world’s population. Yet, the qualities that are as natural to us as breathing—the very same qualities that we share with millions of other introverts across the globe—make us feel defective. Just like me, many introverts come to believe that there is something wrong with them.”
― Michaela Chung, The Irresistible Introvert: Harness the Power of Quiet Charisma in a Loud World

“Extroverts are not superior to introverts, and vice versa. We are different personality types with different needs and motivations. In our culture, different is scary. Extroverts have laid claim on the definition of normal, leaving introverts to feel guilty for not fitting in.”
― Michaela Chung, The Irresistible Introvert: Harness the Power of Quiet Charisma in a Loud World

“The next time you find yourself on the receiving end of a conversation assault, take a moment to have a little self-compassion. Remember that other introverts share your slow-talking tendencies, your hatred of small talk, and your disdain for the phone.”
― Michaela Chung

“It helps to remember that people who possess the qualities we lack aren’t any better than us. They weren’t given a bigger piece of the awesome pie. They are just as flawed, but in different ways.”
― Michaela Chung, The Irresistible Introvert: Harness the Power of Quiet Charisma in a Loud World

“The danger of attending the extroverts’ masquerade ball is that we surround ourselves with people who only like us for our disguise.”
― Michaela Chung, The Irresistible Introvert: Harness the Power of Quiet Charisma in a Loud World

“Often, introverts spend so much time trying to do as the extroverts do that we never ask ourselves what we really want. After years of denying our true desires, it can be difficult to separate what we want from what the world tells us to want.”
― Michaela Chung, The Irresistible Introvert: Harness the Power of Quiet Charisma in a Loud World

“As much as the world tries to tell us otherwise, our free time is ours to spend how we wish. This can be a tricky concept for introverts to fully embrace. We’ve been chastised so much for our personal preferences that we feel obliged to ignore them.”
― Michaela Chung, The Irresistible Introvert: Harness the Power of Quiet Charisma in a Loud World

“I spent many years of my life not even bothering to think about what I wanted and needed, where I wanted to go, and what I wanted to do. Life was to be endured. I didn’t think I deserved good things. I didn’t think most good things were within my reach. I wasn’t that interested in my life, except as an appendage to other people. I didn’t think about living my life; I was too focused on others. I was too busy reacting, rather than acting.”
― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

“We can discuss our feelings and problems without expecting people to rescue us too. We can settle for being listened to. That’s probably all we ever wanted anyway.”
― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

“We don’t have to take rejection as a reflection of our self-worth. If somebody who is important (or even someone unimportant) to you rejects you or your choices, you are still real, and you are still worth every bit as much as you would be if you had not been rejected. Feel any feelings that go with rejection; talk about your thoughts; but don’t forfeit your self-esteem to another’s disapproval or rejection of who you are or what you have done. Even if the most important person in your world rejects you, you are still real, and you are still okay. If you have done something inappropriate or you need to solve a problem or change a behavior, then take appropriate steps to take care of yourself. But don’t reject yourself, and don’t give so much power to other people’s rejection of you.”
― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

“It is almost impossible to have fun when we are bottled up with repressed emotions, worried sick about someone, saturated with guilt and despair, rigidly controlling ourselves or someone else, or worried about what other people are thinking about us. However, most people aren’t thinking about us; they’re worried about themselves and what we think of them.”
― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

“We don’t need to eliminate all our reactions to people and problems. Reactions can be useful. They help us identify what we like and what feels good. They help us identify problems in and around us. But most of us react too much. And much of what we react to is nonsense. It isn’t all that important, and it doesn’t merit the time and attention we’re giving it. Some of what we react to is other people’s reactions to us.”
― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

“Many codependents are barely surviving, and most aren’t getting their needs met.”
― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

“You need to detach most when it seems the least likely or possible thing to do.”
― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

“You are not responsible for making other people “see the light,” and you do not need to “set them straight.” You are responsible for helping yourself see the light and for setting yourself straight.”
― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

“When we attempt to control people and things that we have no business controlling, we are controlled.”
― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

“We cannot (and have no business trying to) control anyone’s emotions, mind, or choices. We cannot control the outcome of events. We cannot control life. Some of us can barely control ourselves.”
― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

“No amount of control will effect a permanent or desirable change in another person. We can sometimes do things that increase the probability that people will want to change, but we can’t even guarantee or control that.”
― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

“Sharing the emotional part of us with others creates closeness and intimacy. Also, being accepted by someone else for being who we are helps us accept ourselves. This is always a marvelous experience.”
― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

“Ultimately, too much dependency on a person can kill love. Relationships based on emotional insecurity and need, rather than on love, can become self-destructive. They don’t work. Too much need drives people away and smothers love.”
― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself