Guy > Guy's Quotes

“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
― W.C. Fields

“If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.”
― W.C. Fields

“It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.”
― W.C. Fields

“Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. ”
― W.C. Fields

“A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.”
― W.C. Fields

“Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. ”
― W.C. Fields

“Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.”
― W.C. Fields

“Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.”
― W.C. Fields

“Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!”
― W. C. Fields

“Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill?

Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.”
― W. C. Fields

“I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.”
― W.C. Fields

“What contemptible scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch?”
― W. C. Fields

“I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.”
― WC Fields

“You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.”
― W.C. Fields

“If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.”
― W.C. Fields

“The news of my death is greatly exaggerated.”
― W.C. Fields