Jane Cousins > Jane's Quotes

“I am fairly certain that given a cape and a nice tiara, I could save the world”
― Leigh Standley

“Be yourself. Unless you can be a unicorn, In that case, you should always be a unicorn.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“A wine, please.” “Ma’am, this is McDonald’s.” “Okay, a McWine, please.” —MCDONALD’S DRIVE-THROUGH, 2 A.M.”
― Darynda Jones, Seventh Grave and No Body

“She’d been seconds away from kissing the man… no, throttling him, for his sheer audacity.  “You expect me to bat my eyes and thrust my tits into some hairy creature’s face and then run away like a giggling simpleton?”
“They only have the one eye under all that hair, and their eyesight is notoriously bad, so you can probably just keep your… tits where they are. ”
― Jane Cousins, To Vex A Valkyrie

“Brodie found herself frowning in confusion, the rugged handsome one was making no sense. “But I just want to have sex with you… no commitment, no sharing. If anything, I would prefer it if you didn’t talk at all, before, during, or after the act.”
― Jane Cousins, To Vex A Valkyrie

“Is there something going on between you and Matias?”
“No!”
“Okay, I may not have a truck load of fancy degrees but all I can say is… liar, liar, I’m seriously thinking of grabbing my blow torch and setting your pants on fire.”
― Jane Cousins, To Surprise A Seer

“Matias frowned.  Damn, he’d had a vision of this gorgeous woman naked?  He hadn’t thought he could despise his memory loss any more than he did, but the hits kept on coming.  Wait.  The blonde had said vision... as in the future?  “We’re fated to have sex?” 
“No!”  Quinn shook her head so quickly and vehemently that her teeth all but rattled.
“You sure?  You can’t seem to stay away from me.”  He looked down at their close proximity. 
“I knew I should have left you to rot in the psych ward strapped to that bed.”
Matias frowned.  He was having a hard time keeping up with the conversation.  “Kinky.  Or is that another dream you had starring yours truly?”
― Jane Cousins, To Surprise A Seer

“And you’re overthinking things, Charming.  Do the math.  Naked, interested man, check.  Wet, willing woman, double check.  Now insert part A into slot B and we can move on to the engineering portion of our quiz today.”
― Jane Cousins, To Fight A Fate

“Yikes, this was going to require every bit of motherly instinct she possessed.  Elisabeth took a deep breath… and nothing happened.
Shit, damn, okay, she’d fall back on what she was good at when it came to her children, part drill-sergeant, and part crazy, suicidal cop on the edge.  Hey, you should always go with what works, and play to your strengths. ”
― Jane Cousins, To Fight A Fate

“Nothing drives home a win more absolutely for the Sanctuary than a severed head delivered in a Hello Kitty box, topped with a big gingham bow.”
― Jane Cousins, To Handle A Hellcat

“She was Darcy Montgomery, Southern Sanctuary Special Liaison, she fixed things.  When people irritated her, well, she fixed them… she fixed them good.  Or should that be, for good? ”
― Jane Cousins, To Handle A Hellcat

“No, she wasn’t dreaming, she was definitely pregnant. The question remained though… how? Or should that be, who?
You’d think she’d recall an alien probing. No, she was ninety-eight percent certain aliens didn’t exist. Which only left one option open - magic. And if that were the case, if magic could appear a baby… then magic was going to damn well disappear the thing. She was so not ready to be a single mother.”
― Jane Cousins, To Fight A Fate

“Honestly, men.  Always trying to exert their dominance.  What these two didn’t understand was that in this Library, Patricia was Ming the Merciless, Mistress of all she surveyed.  And she did not have time in her busy schedule for this shit.”
― Jane Cousins, To Kiss A Kringle

“Valkyrie? Well, well, aren’t you full of surprises? Not just another blonde bimbo. You’re like a collector’s edition Barbie, with your gold accessories and rather snazzy boots.”
― Jane Cousins, What's Up, Buttercup?

“...delayed gratification? “Is that where I tie you to the bed, go out and kill a platoon of ogres before returning to have my wicked way with you?”
“Sounds like we have our first anniversary plans already locked and loaded.”
― Jane Cousins, What's Up, Buttercup?

“...she was faced with an annoying, irritating Demon. One she wasn’t allowed to kill. Unless she made it look like an accident. But she had a feeling that even the lazy heifers in the Legal Department would get suspicious if she wrote under cause of death; fell on my hatchets seventeen times.”
― Jane Cousins, What's Up, Buttercup?

“If he just wanted sex from her, everyone knew the fastest approach to that end was just to enquire bluntly if she was interested. She was either willing to kill some time, or she was too busy killing. ”
― Jane Cousins, What's Up, Buttercup?

“Wildlife mojo?” Copper queried with dry amusement, taking another sip of the excellent champagne.
“Oh, excuse me, Feral Forest Queen, do you have a special name for what you do? Does it have mud anywhere in the title?”
― Jane Cousins, To Goad A Goddess

“..sometimes it can get a little… rough. Will you stop bouncing up and down like that.”
“You can’t blame a Demon for getting excited. Hurry up and finish the safety briefing so we can get to the fun stuff.”
― Jane Cousins, A Demon Is Forever

“I’m related to one. Can you believe that? It was bad enough thinking I was paranoid, going crazy or maybe just cursed, but to find out Gods are real and that I’m related to one… life sucks lemons and I’ve run out of tequila and salt.”
― Jane Cousins, To Date A Disaster

“Hey.”  Erik was now eye level with Cara’s breasts and thoroughly enjoying the view.  Maybe he should try and strike up a conversation.  “Come here often?”
“Are you talking to my breasts again?”  Cara huffed in exasperation.
“Oh… do that again, the huffing thing.”
Cara grabbed a fistful of the hair on his clearly undamaged head and yanked so Erik was forced to sit up and make actual eye contact with her.  “I can’t tell if you’re brain damaged or if you’ve always been like this. ”
― Jane Cousins, To Date A Disaster