DaftScholar > DaftScholar's Quotes

“My wife said that, for her birthday, she would like to go somewhere where she had not been for a long time. "What about the kitchen?" I offered. ♦◊♦◊♦◊♦”
― Various, 101 Best Jokes

“One evening, a wife drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said, "Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?" "I would love to," replied the husband, "But I don't know her well enough.”
― Various, 101 Best Jokes

“Wife: "Wake up, honey. Some thieves have broken into our house. I think they're eating the food I made last night." Husband: "Oh! We better call an ambulance, then.”
― Various, 101 Best Jokes

“I doubt, therefore I might be.”
― Various, 101 Best Jokes

“I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.”
― Various, 101 Best Jokes

“I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. ♦◊♦◊♦◊♦”
― Various, 101 Best Jokes

“Yo momma so ugly she threw a boomerang and it wouldn't come back.”
― Various, 101 Best Jokes

“If actions speak louder than words
I’m the most deafening noise you’ve heard
I’ll be that ringing in your ears
That will stick around for years”
― Touche Amore

“Do not read, as children do, to amuse yourself, or like the ambitious, for the purpose of instruction. No, read in order to live.”
― Gustave Flaubert