Robert Firestone > Robert's Quotes

“That is why in adult life, people generally tend to relive rather than live, that is, to repeat the patterns of the past and defend the primary fantasy in the defiance, and avoid the real gamble or real adventure of taking a chance on something new. They are afraid that if they really cry out, if they really ask, if they really scream for help, that it won't come, and they'll be in the same panicky frightened state they were in when they were little. ”
― Robert W. Firestone

“In general, an ideal partner is (a) open and nondefensive, (b) honest and nonduplicitous, (c) affectionate and easy-going, (d) mentally and physically healthy, (e) independent and successful in his or her chosen career or lifestyle, and (f) aware of a meaningful existence that includes humanitarian values.”
― Robert W. Firestone

“The purpose of the false self is to defend against pain - not deal with reality”
― Robert W. Firestone

“Differentiating from parental introjects and psychological defences based on the emotional pain of childhood is essential not only for neurotic or seriously disturbed individuals; it is a central developmental issue in every person’s life.”
― Lisa Firestone, The Self Under Siege

“People must come to the understanding that they do not have a fixed identity. They have the power to identify and alter features of their personalities that they find negative or unpleasant.”
― Lisa Firestone, The Self Under Siege

“Differentiation is a universal struggle that all human beings face if they wish to fully develop themselves as individuals.”
― Lisa Firestone, The Self Under Siege